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Lift the P.O.P.E.'s Spirits
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Dude, we're reinstating the See!
Vital statistics
Participants P. Humbert,
Mayor McFlapp
Date December 6th, 2017
Location Centriepistula


Antidisestablishmentarianism is the deciding event when the P.O.P.E. decided to step up to the plate and push for reinstatement of the Governance as the sole technological authority of the USA. It had been disestablished by the evil Apolytikako Gawkinz in 2015.


Background[]

Main article: Gawkins v. Follins

As everyone knows, the Governance was disestablished by the infamous ACLUM leader, Apolytikako Gawkinz.

By 2014 ACLUM had expanded beyond its original pro-Mabel stance and began to challenge the See on its absolute monopoly in technology, utilities, even electricity. They questioned the authority of the P.O.P.E. and eventually sued the pants off of one of the employees, none other than Cardinal Follins, after an ACLUM crony was banned from Tech-Time for using emalfs at the P.O.P.E., who had condemned Mabel's family for abusing technology for their own gain.

Unlike P. Benzin, the P.O.P.E. at the time, P. Bonifide suffered no illusion that Mabel was evil. He spoke out in defense of Cardinal Follins and called witnesses to the stand, ranging from Daniel to himself. Gawkins started directing rude and eventually ad hominem attacks on the PWNtiff, culminating in Gawkins slapping Bonifide across the beak. As an attempt to maintain order, the case was suspended for three days.

After the recess, and in a conspiracy rumored to be cooked up by corrupt hackers everywhere, the court decided in favor of Gawkins. The USA was forced to disestablish the See and annex the Centriepistula as just another city. The sectors were publicized and put on YOWSER, and bills rose as the hierarchy fell and the non-ordained managers abandoned the unnecessarily ornate telenacles.

P. Boniface, in extensive shame, deleted himself, after biting his own arm failed to make him feel better.

P. Humbert was named the P.O.P.E., but the seat was vacant, since the PWNtiff was abolished. The powerless PWNtiff dressed in black and carried a parasol. He mostly wandered the streets of Technology City (the See's new name).


Seeing the P.O.P.E.'s depression (and aware of Gawkins' COC-violating parodee), Mayor McFlapp, aged but still the energetic daredevil he was in 2009, took it upon himself to rekindle the Governance at any cost.


Mayor McFlapp is in the Bureau of Fiction with DJ X Illustrator Keith, and 10 other Bureau of Fiction employees.

Mayor McFlapp: As you jolly well know, the entire bloomin' workforce of the Department of Machinery were Governance employees, and due to the recent disestablishment, wot, almost two-thirds of the bally Department have resigned!


Illustrator Keith: OH NOEZ! THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT OF MACHINERY IS GONE NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIEEEEEE --


Mayor McFlapp (continuing): We need some way to sugarcoat everything, but DJ X tells me we're out of musical material. So, any flippin' ideas, wot?


(Silence.)


Mayor McFlapp: What, nothing?


(Silence)


Mayor McFlapp: No matter, I'm sure we'll find an idea...


(Mayor McFlapp suddenly notices a PHINEAS AND FERB ROCK pin on DJ X's shirt.)


Mayor McFlapp: THAT'S IT! (turns to Keith, who has recovered) Keith, I know what we're going to today, wot!



Background to be continued.


The event[]

Antidisestablishmentarianism
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Monopolies FTW!
Antidisestablishmentarianism Information
Released 2020
Recorded 2017
Genre Pop
Language English
Length 1:21
Label Governance
Writer TurtleShroom Productions
Producer BOF Records
Album track listing
Previous Next
{{{previous}}} {{{next}}}


With the decorations ready, and a team of singers and dancers assembled, Mayor McFlapp's musical spectacle was ready to go.


Mayor McFlapp is flying through the streets of Technology City. He is still quite disappointed at the case two years ago and was fully aware of the conspiracies behind it. With prices up and distribution disorganized, bishops, cardinals, and priests alike were thrown out of office. The tern happened to spy the P.O.P.E., who was waddling down an alley with the umbrella.

McFlapp swooped down to the PWNtiff, who was dressed entirely in black. Even his eyes themselves exhibited sadness. He hadn't smiled in years, it seemed.


McFlapp: You bloomin' okay, wot? Do ya need to find your way to a bally funeral?


Mayor McFlapp lifts the umbrella and realizes who the penguin is.


McFlapp: Your Telephonavin! I didn't bally recogni-


Humbert slaps his flipper over McFlapp's beak.


P. Humbert: Sede vancante, blennus!


McFlapp: Oh, right. The blinkin' persecution... wot...


P. Humbert turns away.


McFlapp: Surely you want ta put a stop to this bally catastrophe, wot wot?


P. Humbert: I am incapable.


McFlapp: Well, that isn't a bally attitude ta have!


P. Humbert: I was sued.


McFlapp: It was jolly well rigged, wot! We all know the blinkin' judge had bloodstains on his flippers!


P. Humbert: Venae?!


McFlapp: No, he wasn't bleedin'. It's a bally expression.


P. Humbert nods.


McFlapp: You need a confidence boost, wot. Doncha know what's happened to the bally disestablished utilities companies?


Silence.


McFlapp: It's jolly well awful, it is! I don't know how those bloomin' humans work-


Popol staring.


McFlapp: Well, utilities and telecommunications shouldn't be bally run like other businesses, wot. Let's just leave it like that. Cardinals and datacons bein' bally chased off their homes, wot! Why, the lovely Olivia was locked up a week ago for trying t' administer her former customers. That bloomin' Gawkins must be stopped!


P. Humbert: I can't do anything, Your Honor. I, and my position, were but nerds playing fancy dress-up in a lame parody storybook. We're not true technologists.


McFlapp: (ignoring the unintentional wall breach) Stop committing heresy on your bally self, wot!


P. Humbert: The Governance is pointless, friend! Why do you need pointless administrations, stained glass, odd clothes? It's just another business, really...


Mayor McFlapp smiles and presses a remote control button. The sidewalk under P. Humbert's feet slides away to reveal a chute, and the PWNtiff slides down with a cry of surprise.


The PWNtiff lands in the Bureau of Fiction, in the center of the abandoned Department of Machinery. A plethora of BoF-hired musicians, led by DJ X, play a disco-pop theme, while the Mayor, Explorer, and a few backup singers, including Midas, Herb, and Olivia, pop out of a lift.

Music begins...
right|thumb|75px|Melody

Explorer: Are you kidding?! There's no need to state what it has to be, but tech can't be run without the hallowed See! The hierarchy keeps the clients in line, and who else can wear hats so fine?


P. Humbert: Well, he said that my job was a worthless sin, that he always cringed when I came in, he felt inferior to our regime, he can't help but BAW, he's just a weenie!


Mayor McFlapp: You have to admit, Gawkins IS a weenie.


Disco ball and laser lights drop out of the ceiling.

All: Tech can't run without the See, we all demand the papacy! The Governance! (P. Humbert: You want it back?) The Governance! (P. Humbert: The Governance?)


All: Give us back our hierarchy, our Tech-Time and our formality! The Governance! The Governance!


P. Humbert: You know we ran business like no other, moral standards we embraced just like a brother, we were a non-profit entity, firing folks if they lied to thee!


Olivia: That's true, but back to the matter we'll meet, what do say, will you assume the seat?


P. Humbert smiles weakly.


P. Humbert: Well, maybe if I can don the old pallium...


Explorer: Antidisestablishmentarianism!!


Everyone reappears in the alleyway. P. Humbert closes the umbraculum and everyone starts marching to the decommissioned Cathedral where the P.O.P.E. once ruled. P. Humbert, now smiling but with a look of determination, is in front with Explorer and McFlapp to his left and right. Others are carrying traditional Governance insginias and liturgical items used in Tech-Time.


All: You're the one who runs the See, now get back there and take the keys! The Governance! The Governance!


To be continued...



See also[]

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