Captain Ash's Very Problematic Event

The following events were originally classified, but one of the Jury revealed everything to the public. That jury member was later force to listen to WHAT?!? for a whole month.

CHAPTER 1: Tresspassing
It was a mediocre day in Eastshield. Penguins were waddling down the snow-covered street, terns were flying around in the sky, and noobs were flocking around a rather surprised Mabel, after Explorer told said "People who are bad at something, but don't admit it." that Mabel was made of candy. (Hey, that was the defintion of Noob in the dictionary. Don't blame us, Wot wot. -Mayor McFlapp)

Amongst all the penguins, however, was a human. His hair was neatly-cut and a fake ginger, and had a rather bushy moustache of the same colour. He was wearing wool-lined clothing that was akin to various explorers and adventurers in films and television. He also had a satchel wrapped round his waist, engorged with various items collected in his travels. A dirt-covered monocole rested in his right eye.

There was no doubt this guy ripped straight out of the movies was no other than Captain Ash, who was some sort of adventurer or so.

As he walked down the paths glazed with duvet-white snow, he look around. Amongst the rainbow of penguins, the Captain could make out various shops laid out amongst both sides of the road. They included Joe's Questionably greasy, unhealthy bacon., Books, just books and LETTUCE, OM NOM NOM NOM.

Just an ordinary day in Downtown Eastshield. For any penguin. Ash was heading off to a cooking event. A rather private cooking event. One he shouldn't be going to. As he walked down the street, he quickly made a turn into an alleyway, surprisingly verdant with plantlife.

To be continued...