The Quest for the Third Window

Chapter 1: Joining the IIRS-Wasted Resume
Austin8310 walked into the IIRS office.

"Hey, I got referred by this pope guy to come here."

The secretary sat up and pointed that way.

"Go and get your suit there. You're hired."

Austin8310 stared at him, his eyes bugging out.

"Are you kidding me? I just walked in here! I planned out my resume for a WHOLE WEEK! And I just walk in and you say i'm HIRED? GAH, what a waste of time."

The secretary grinned and replied,

"Two things. One, you're tall. Two, you have a fish. That's all our requirements."

Austin8310 walked into the hallway, put on a cloak, grabbed a scyth, and then pulled up the hood. He decided he hated the scyth, and threw it. He picked up the fish, and walked back to the secretary. "When do I leave? Where are the destinations? This job seems awfully unplanned? How much money should I get?"

The secretary seemed to be used to this.

"You leave now. Go with those three outside. Then, stop where they stop. Get as much money as you want."

Austin8310 walked out the door, muttering about how talkative that secretary was.

As he approached the van, the cloaked figure grinned.

"Prepare to go, mate! We're going now."

The van left the parking lot and sped off.

Chapter 2: Antics of Antics
3:00 PM, Antics Mansion.

Austin banged on the door.

WHAM. WHAM. WHAM.

"Hello? Anyone home? Hey, the door's unlocked! Hey…now that I think about it, this is the Antics Mansion. I bet that there’s plenty of Third Window Knowledge here."

He opened the door and ran into the hallway.

SPLOOSH!

A bucket was over his head, and water was dripping down the cloak.

"ALL RIGHT, SOMEBODY'S GOING TO PAY!"

He then saw some penguin in the other room.

"Aha! He’s going to pay for that! I shall get my knowledge and taxes!

He snuck up on the unsuspecting (or not) Explorer 767. As he prepared to swing, he noticed out of the back of his eye something behind him. Ah, it wasn't important.

Then, the inflatable dummy flew through the air, hit the wall, and bounced off and hit Austin in the head.

"I really hate this job."

As he was walking out the door, he didn't see the banana peel.

After that, he was a lot less eager to enter the Antics neighborhood again.

Explorer was laughing. "OH, that's a good one!"

Director Benny did not approve.

Chapter 3: Yes. NO! YES. NO!
Austin8310 had been transferred. He’d been fired from the SPC district for getting a little too violent…in other words, just knocking out his “customer” and running away with the money. He ended up in Limilia City. The IIRS van was going along, when he saw a large building.

“Hey! Check that out! Whoever owns that needs to pay up.”

The other IIRS agents nodded, jumped out of the vehicle, and went around the neighborhood getting doors slammed at them.

Austin8310 glared at them.

“Real talkative, aren’t they. Ugh. Oh well, here goes…”

He knocked on the door. No answer. He waited…

10 Minutes Later

Austin8310 was angrily pounding on the door now.

'''BAM! BAM''' “LET ME IN! PAY YOUR TAXES!” BAM

The door eventually broke.

“Okay, that wasn’t part of the plan. Who lives here anyway?” he said as he was walking through the building.

Akbaboy was watching it all through a monitor in his room.

“Servants? GO GET THAT IIRS MAN! I don’t like the IIRS.”

5 servants dashed out of the room.

Austin8310 was wandering the long halls of the building.

“Hello? Anyone home? Pay your taxes! If you don’t…never mind.”

Then, the 5 servants came up to him.

“Sorry, but we aren’t paying taxes.”

“Yes you are.”

“No, we aren’t.”

“Yes, you are.”

“NO, we AREN’T.”

“YES, you ARE.”

“NO WE AREN’T!”

“YES YOU ARE!

“NO, WE AREN’T!”

“YES, YOU ARE!”

“This is kinda predictable.”

“GET EM!”

The five servants leaped at Austin8310, smashing his jar to pieces and ripping his robe. Eventually, it developed into a brawl.

“YAH!”

‘”OW, MY FACE!”

“NOT THE PIZZA HAPPYNESS KICK!”

“I THINK JOE’S KNOCKED OUT!”

“EAT MY FISH!”

“Mmm, tasty.”

Austin8310 stared at the servant taking a bite out of his fish.

NOBODY took a bite out of HIS fish and survived.

Unsurprisingly, the brawl started up again.

Four hours later.

Austin8310 returned to the van. All the other IIRS goons were glaring at him. One stepped up to him.

“HEY! You were in there for 6 hours! We finished in 1 hour. We had to play Rock-Paper-Scissors for FIVE HOURS!”

“I like Rock Paper Scissors.” Replied Austin.

“You’re being transferred back to SPC.”

Chapter 4: SPC is Painful
Kwiksilver’s Igloo

Austin8310 slowly opened the door.

“Hi! I’m your friendly IIRS man, so…pay up.”

He saw a note on the green door.

“What’s this? Gone to 2400 AD, be back soon? Drat.”

Hat Pop’s Igloo

Austin8310 angrily walked up through the lawn.

“Anyone home?”

He then opened the door and proceeded inside. Hmmm, nobody was there…but then again…

“HI-YA!”

Hat Pop appeared out of nowhere right in front of him. Austin8310 shrieked like a girl and ran to the IIRS van.

Explorer and Fred’s Igloo

Austin8310 slowly and carefully approached the window. After what happened last time, he wasn’t going to be reckless.

KNOCK

Fred opened the door. Austin8310 said “Hi! I’m your friendly IIRS man!” and threw down his hood, revealing his face.

Fred shrieked and ran into the igloo, locking it. Austin8310 vaguely remembered this guy. OHHH YEAHHHH…he captured him and threw him in a crate in the GSWI. Oh well. Surely he’s forgotten that.

He tried knocking again. The door was locked.

“Pfft, this penguin is more of a weirdo than TSP. LOL, TSP? TSP? Hahahaha…”

Sadly, he didn’t see XeXeXe right behind him.

WHAM!

“Oooh, look at all the pretty stars!”

WHAM!

“Not THE Sh0v31$ N0000 !’M 4 741!B34N! YIPPIE!”

Fred walked out of the igloo.

“I think you hit him a little hard.”

Xexexe grunted and ran off.

Chapter 6: Str00dels and Teddy Bears
The IRS Car

“101 !’M 4 $7R00D31 P4NC4K3! Y4y H499Y ME!”

Austin8310 was lurching around the back of the truck, yelling gibberish.

“What happened to him?”

“I dunno. The other day this guy taxed this Winston guy and came back like that.

“Owch.”

“You betcha. It took 3 weeks of therapy for him to recover.”

“3 weeks?”

“Let’s just dump this guy off in Waffleland via Airline. I don’t want to have him in the car so long.”

“Okay.”

In Waffleland, 3 weeks later.

Austin8310 came out of his Str00del Coma to find himself in a place full of str00dels.

“YOU STINKIN YELLOW PUFFLE! YOU STINKIN-“

Then he was hit by 10000 Raining Boots o’ Doom.

Nobody insults Directory Benny.

MORE COMING SOON!

Soon to come: Flywish, Fudd, Mabel, Winston, Penghis Khan, Random East Pengolians. And maybe Willy the Penguin.