Great Darktonian Pie War/Archived Inclusions

'''Welcome to the Pie War Archive section. It is here that we store segments of the story that were written too early to write. Items such as PogoPunk's dramatic part, the Brilliance dragon, and (ROTFL) Archon Charades. These might not be published. Triskelle or his brother will clear any OOC-ness later.

SOME OF THESE ENTRIES WERE FISHED FROM THE HISTORY PAGE. AS SUCH, THEY MAY BE HEAVILLY OOC. WHEN THE TIME COMES, THEY WILL BE REWRITTEN TO FIT THE PLOTLINE. THE POGOPUNK SECTION, FOR EXAMPLE, WAS WRITTEN BEFORE THE TRISKELLE ADDITIONS.

IT WILL BE REWRITTEN FOR OOC ERRORS BY TRISKELLE AND OTHERS.

ARCHON CHARADES
"Hmmm...." Darktan said, pacing back and forth. "We are losing. We must retreat. Aha, but they wont be much without their precious capital, will they?" He said to a Mwa Mwa Penguin.

"Otay. Wes swir!" said the loonie.

Darktan called a break with the referee. The referee agreed. He sounded an air horn and ordered the armies to stop. Group "aawwws" were heard across the valley.

Luce turned to Proffesor Shroomsky.

"Professor, make sure you don't drop the Silmaril Crown. Darktan is up to something, and we're going to need it."

Shroomsky nodded.

Darktan floated at his vantange point overlooking the battle.

"Before we storm the capital, we must figure out why the tides shifted right after the storm came..." Darktan whispered to himself.

He clapped his flippers and summoned a Dark Archon. The dragon-smoke creature bowed in respect and waved, signaling he was ready for his orders.

"Okay. I need you to go into that could and find out anything you can on a powerful weapon."

The Dark Archon bowed and did so. He flew up into the sky and immediantly mnd-controlled a random arctic tern. Using this new body, he shuffled in a zombie manner straight to Mayor McFlapp's quarters.

The Archon paused. He looked left and right. For a second, he could have sworn he heard someone playing an organ down the halls of the empty building.

He shuffled down the corridors to a room with an ornate door. Two terns holding Snow Ball Guns stopped him.

"What do you want?"

The Dark Archon was nervous. He had no idea what to do, and since his species can not speak, he was worried. He floated out of the tern he mind-controled and dashed behind a curtain. The tern shook its head rapidly.

"Where am I? Why am I in front of the Narrator's Organ room?"

The guards glared. The tern dashed off.

The Dark Archon sighed in relief. He immediantly fired his aura beams at one of the guards, forcing it to the The Worm dance. He zapped the other, and it started cutting the rug like Cadence, even doing her signature dance.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US?!" one tern screamed to the other.

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT I SURE AM A DANCING MACHINE! WATCH THIS!"

The Dark Archon flew between them and burst open the locked doors. There, he saw the Narrator's Organ, and a random tern entruseted with operating it while the Mayor was away. Its screens showed various things on the battleground, as well as Darktan at his vantage point. The wraith's eyes metaphorically grew to the size of dinner plates. He had found the secret! An all-seeing console! The Archon exited the room and flew down from the clouds.

Darktan turned as his minion entered.

"Did you find anything?"

The Archon nodded feverishly.

"Tell me EVERYTHING."

The Archon nodded. He held up one claw.

"Charades?! I have no time for this! Oh, never mind... okay... first word."

The Dark Archon pointed up.

"Clouds?"

The Archon nodded. He held up two claws.

"Second word."

The wraith imitated an arctic tern.

"Airplanes?"

The archon shook its head. He continued flapping.

"Missles? Aircraft? Space shuttle? Come on, do something else!"

The Dark Archon slapped his claw against his face. He formed a cloud of auras into the rough shape of a top hat. He placed it on his head and started strutting around.

"Will Whitefoot?"

He shook his head. The Archon started flapping his arms again, while strutting around.

"OH! Mayor McFlapp! What about him?"

Still wearing the top hat, the Archon held out his claws and imitated playing a keyboard.

"Mayor McFlapp plays the piano?"

The wraith shook its head. He grabbed a nearby book and started playing the keyboard on it.

"Mayor McFlapp plays on books like a piano?"

The Dark Archon slapped his claw against his face once more. He pointed to Darktan and floated above him, playing the keyboard once more.

"He plays the keyboard... on me?"

The Dark Archon nodded. He then shot auras at Darktan, making him dance like Cadence for a few seconds, before Darktan borke free.

"AAAGH! You insolent... Why did you do THAT?!"

The Archon continued chrading. He played the keyboard and pointed to Darktan.

"Wait, the keyboard, it's controlling me?"

The Archon nodded. He then imiatated banging the keyboard like in a horror movie.

"He plays an organ? Mayor McFlapp plays an organ that controls me?"

The wraith nodded feverishly.

"How can that be?"

The Dark Archon shrugged. He pointed up.

"It's in the sky?"

The Archon clapped in celebration.

"So, Mayor McFlapp has an organ, in the sky, that controls me? Where is it?!"

The Dark Archon pointed in the direction he flew off. Darktan subsequently fired an aura beam in that direction.

The beam barely missed the Organ. It knocked it over and tore a hole in the Mayor's office. The beam continued into space, where it damaged a satillite.

A NASA controller shivered.

"The Chandra X-Ray observatory is now offline..."

Screams were heard in the background.

PogoPunk's Glorious Contribution
''This was written months ago, long before Arda or any awesome Triskelle items/contributions existed. Please note that due to the age of this edit, it is severely OOC and dated, and will be edited for OOC corrections when the time comes. Until then, it is archived.''

A voice was heard.

"dAt'z da s | Gn4l!! fIR33 d4 w4FFl3z!"

The Str00del Force had arrived!

Billy Mays loaded up a catapult with pastries, Kaboom, Oxipies, waffles, and all other sorts of items. He set them all to fly at Darktan.

Darktan touched the Shadow Amulet, and teleported away from the deluge of pastries.

"How laughable! Is that all you can muster? Let me show you true power!" Darktan said, conjuring up a black void. Billy Mays got sucked into the void.

Luce retaliated with a beam of light, but Darktan was encased with a shield.

"Okay keepers, we'll try all our attacks together!"

All of the keepers each used their amulets elemental powers on Darktan, and that still didn't work.

"Heh, I expected more from the Chosen one!" Darktan taunted.

"Our attacks aren't doing anything! He's being shielded by the Shadow Amulet!" Luce yelled in a frightened tone.

"Enough! I grow weary of these childish games!" Darktan yelled, who was creating a giant rift.

"Now you will all meet my good friend Armageddon! Prepare to meet the end of the world, you moronic penguins!" Darktan said, with his trademark laugh.

Just as he ended his speech, he was interrupted with a pie in the face. Professor Shroomsky threw it, and the pie negated Darktan's spell.

After a couple of cheers Shroomsky smiled.

"OWNED!"

Shroomsky turned to Luce.

"DID YOU SEE THAT? I HIT THE ULTIMATE EVIL!"

Shroomsky was very proud of himself. Had Luce not informed him to stop jumping, the Silmaril Crown would have fallen off his head.

Luce turned to Darktan.

"We'll fight to the end!" Luce yelled.

"L4Wlz, U g0t d4t r1te!1!1" The Str00del Force said.

Suddenly, all the amulets, spare Darktan's, flew up into the sky in a shining brilliance, they homed in on Darktan, and broke his shield;

"Aha ha ha ha ha.. huh?"

"My barrier.. is gone?" Darktan said, confused.

"Heroes with courage, burn forth to shatter the walls of blight..." Luce quoted.

"That's what the prophecy said."

"Very well! This will be a fitting battle against the end of USA!" Darktan sneered.

Just as the keepers were about to advance, Darktan created a shadowy substance, that struck down all the Elemental Keepers, except Luce.

"I will only fight with you. Leave me my minions, I will deal with this alone." Darktan said,

"B-but Darktan!"

"Quiet! Only I need to finish this."

Creatures below kept throwing pies at Darktan's minons despite this, and the creature himself, though they had no effect.

After his speech, Darktan swooped up and the battle began. Luce shot several blasts of light at Darktan, but he covered his face with his cape, and reflected them back. Luce did the same. It was like a match of tennis, but eventually Darktan lost his guard and the light pierced through him. In a shriek, he fell to the ground. Luce conjured several light blasts on him, but the Shadow Amulet gave him renewed power, and Darktan arised, whom blasted Luce against a wall with a dark force.

Luce however, was ready. Since the Shadow Amulet rejuvenates Darktan's power, she thought of a plan. Darktan in the meantime, shot out another blast of shadow, but Luce deflected it. It hit Darktan, and it seemed like it hurt more than the previous attack. She found out Darktan's weakness; he can be neutralized with the same element of his!

Darktan knew of her secret, and he decided to counter by slowing down time itself;

"Wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttsssssssssss hhhhhhhaaaaaaaapppppppeeeeeeeennnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggggg" Professor Shroomsky said, whom was affected with the slowdown of time, along with everyone else. Darktan however, was not affected, seeing as he created this effect.

Darktan made yet another blast, that struck Luce down, seeing as her reflexes were slowed dramatically. Luce had to adjust her timing right so that she could still hurt Darktan, but not get hurt herself.

Just as Darktan was conjuring up a black mass, Luce assumed her reflecting position. Darktan threw the mass at her, but it was reflected, and it struck Darktan down. Darktan was feeling very weak after this, so Luce decided to end it by blasting him with a brilliance of light. Darktan then fell to the ground, and time returned to normal. The battle ended.

Luce and the keepers wandered over to the tattered, bruised Darktan;

"Heh.. heh... it's over. Finish me.." Darktan raspily said.

"Why does it have to end like this?" Luce replied.

"Luce.. when your mother passed away, you were nowhere to be found. I searched, and searched, but I couldn't find you. In a last attempt, I used the Shadow Amulet to help me find you, but I became mad with power. I've done too much wrong in the USA. Finish me, and I will be at peace." Darktan said sadly.

Just then, he was interrupted by WitchyPenguin.

"Darktan! Watch out!" WitchyPenguin said, who used herself as a shield from an incoming attack. It hit WitchyPenguin, whom fell to the ground and fainted.

"WitchyPenguin!" Darktan yelled.

"Silly assistant, absorbing my attack to save him. What an adorably hopeless gesture!" A figure said. The figure emerged, and it was PogoPunk.

"I was about to give him the everlasting peace he so truely wants!"

"PogoPunk?! I thought you were creamed by Manny Peng!" Luce said in surprise.

"Nope!"

"What?! Don't kill him!" Explorer screamed, holding up a scroll that said COC. "YOU'D BE BREAKING THE LAW!"

"I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT YOUR STINKING LAWS!" PogoPunk shouted.

Silence.

Turtleheimer turned to Luce, whispering.

"Oh no he didn't!"

PogoPunk turned back to Darktan. He smirked.

"Darktan's death is a mere price to pay, as the Shadow Amulet will not be stopped... if I continue to control it!" PogoPunk said.

"I was planning to get the Shadow Amulet all along, but I couldn't do it on my own. I needed the keepers to get it from Darktan, and now it's all come to plan. If they ever make thank-you cards for helping an evil guy with his plans, I owe you one. Especially you, Shroomsky. That lawsuit... yep, this battle would have been done without you."

"WHAT are you saying?" Shroomsky yelled.

"I'm saying that you are all no longer of value to me, so I'm ending your games." PogoPunk said, whom grabbed the Shadow Amulet. He clicked his fingers, and a little sprout emerged from Darktan's head.

"What IS that?" Luce shrieked.

"When I drew Darktan, I planted a Doom Weed in the subconscious of his mind, and it has grown spectacularly! The prophecy says he is the perfect host for the Shadow Amulet!"

"YOU PUT A DOOM WEED IN HIS HEAD?!" Explorer screamed.

Both armies let out a group eeewwww.

Luce turned to the side of Good.

"I think I understand! That Doom Weed there, it was copying Darktan's powers! That plant has all of Darktan's powers in it! If PogoPunk eats it, he will have Darktan's powers! Then, he will send Darktan into a void, and take over the continent!"

"You just figured that out?" PogoPunk gloated.

Everyone nodded.

"Now I will use the Shadow Amulet's power, and, combined with Darktan's power, I WILL BECOME THE NEW EVIL! AHHAAHAHHAAHA!"

"Guys, get your pies ready.." Explorer whispered to the others.

As PogoPunk was maniaclly laughing, he was struck down with an Oxypie. Billy Mays returned from the void!

"Hi, Billy Mays here!" he said.

"How did you return? What was it like in the void?" Luce said.

"That was the innovative secret!" he replied.

They all walked over to the stricked PogoPunk, whom emerged from the Oxypie.

"Er.. hehe.. I was joking about all that stuff. Ummm, a..uh.. Doom Weed was planted in my subconscious as well! You saved me!" PogoPunk said in an attempt to save himself.

Unfortunately, no one bought that story, and he was slammed with a cavalcade of pies.

"So what do we do with Darktan?" Luce said.

"Well, the Shadow Amulet can heal him, but it will bring back his evil. If you want your father to feel better, then we need the Shadow Amulet. It's the only way to heal him."

"I don't want to give him the amulet, but I guess I have no choice.." Luce said, giving Darktan the amulet. Darktan was instantly revived, and was ready to battle again...

After a bell rang, PogoPunk was carted off, still covered in pie.

Darktan woke up.

"Wait... so PogoPunk put a plant in my head... he was going to steal all my powers?!"

Darktan became enraged.

"I WANTED THE POWER! GAH!"

Darktan was ready to fight again.

The Transformation of Luce
Please Note, this section may be OOC, so please edit it until it is fit for human consumption (until it's okay).-Sir Kwiksilver of TARDIS 21:27, 11 April 2009 (UTC)

The Kernel's cellar shook. Rocks and icicles fell from the ceiling as a giant drilling machine burst through the wall.

The shaking stopped.

Kwiksilver jumped out of the machine. The Kernel had his mouth open and was in shock.

"Mah...mah celluh! Y'all gone and blown a hole in it!"

"Couldn't you just walk down from The Kernel's house?" asked Luce, annoyed.

"More dramatic," answered Kwiksilver, "Anyway, why am I here?"

"We are all here because I have figured that Darktan would eventually transform into his Maledict form," said Luce, "I know from the stuff I've read here that the keeper of the Light Amulet, which is me, is able to transform into the opposite of the Maledict, the Brilliance."

"I'm in that thar prophecy?" The Kernel asked.

Both nodded.

"Well I be fried and covered in oysters."

"Then why don't you do it, and end the war?" Kwiksilver chimed in.

"Trouble is, I've never done it. I figured since we're all mentioned as the ones who can stop Darktan, why don't we do it together? Have any of you experienced anything funny?"

"I say, I say, I've got a flipper salvilatin' good one!" cried The Kernel, "Two puffles walk into a bar-"

"No, no no. Not the 'ha ha' kind of funny but the 'gee, that's unusual and interesting' funny," said Luce.

Kwiksilver spoke.

"Ever since I've been born, I've heard this weird beat in my head. Just a soft beat. I'll tap it out."

He tapped his feet on the ground in a beat.

"I say, that there beat sounds like the song, Peanut Butter Jelly Time!" said the Kernel.

"Peanut Butter what?" asked Luce and Kwiksilver at the same time.

"Ya'll never heard of it? It's the craze, I say the craze that's sweepin' Antarctica. An internet phenomon, that is."

The Kernel snatched Kwiksilver's Icepod and speakers. He plugged them into a power socket.

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!! Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

The rest of the song was drowned out when a burst of light lit up the room like a camera flash.

The light slowly toned down until a yellow penguin engulfed in light could be seen floating in the middle of the cellar. It finally spoke.

"You summoned me?"

"Saint Finwe!" gasped Luce, "You've got to help us! Darktan's going to transform any time soon and I have no idea how to become the Brilliance!"

"Darktan? Oh, him," Saint Finwe said, "You need to find the last vial of High Penguin Swimming Pool Water."

"Swimming pool water? The dew from The Two Trees?"

"Got it in one. It's what I used to transform for the first time. After that, it becomes easy."

"Where is the vial?" asked Luce.

Finwe paused for a bit, then spoke again.

"Half of the water is in Arda, guarded by High Penguins. The other half is in Mayor McFlapp's office in Ternville."

"I say we go for Mayor McFlapp's vial," said Kwiksilver, "Arda is too far away. Besides, I have a tunnel that leads straight to the battlefield."

"Yeah, but it will take ages to get there! Your drilling machine took 30 minutes to get here!" replied Luce, "We'd need jetpacks to go that fast!"

There was a cough. Kwiksilver and Luce spun around. The Kernel had five jetpacks hung up on a wall.

"I bought 'em ta deliver fish."

Kwiksilver and Luce smiled sheepishly.

There was another flash. They spun around again. Saint Finwe was gone.

"Well, let's go!" cried The Kernel.

Three jetpacks shot up from a hole in the ground and up into the sky, heading for Ternville. Luce led The Kernel and Kwiksilver to a the roof of a large skyscraper. They went through a trapdoor and came out in a large room with a gigantic organ in the center.

"This is Mayor McFlapp's office," said Luce, "Now where's that vial...."

"I say, it can't be that hard ta find," said The Kernel.

"Kernel, Mayor McFlapp wouldn't just put a large arrow with flashing lights and the words, "HP SWIMMING POOL WATER HERE"," replied Kwiksilver, "It won't be obvious!"

The Kernel pointed to a large arrow with flashing lights and the words "HP SWIMMING POOL WATER HERE" on it. It was pointed at a corridor. At the end of the corridor there was a stand with a half-empty vial of strange looking water on it.

"I stand corrected. Now let's go!" Kwiksilver made a run for the vial.

"STOP!" yelled Luce, grabbing Kwiksilver's beanie and pulling him back. Luce pulled a bag of sand out of her pocket and threw some in the corridor. It revealed loads of gleaming red laser beams criss-crossing across the hallway.

"Just as I thought. I'm going to slip under those beams," said Luce, "It's going to be dangerous, so don't try to come in after me."

Luce leaned under the first beam and twisted her body to fit through a very small gap between two lasers. Then she was a blur. Jumping, running, and leaning over, through, and under the lasers. Finally, she reached the platform. Very carefully, Luce pulled the vial out and corked it.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

The pedestal moved down into the platform. Solid metal doors started coming down from the roof of the corridor. Luce made a dive and shot under the doors with the vial in hand. The doors clanged shut behind her.

"Kwiksilver, catch!" called Luce, and threw the vial.

The following seemed like slow motion. Luce crashed into The Kernel, and they fell into a heap. Kwiksilver went long, trying to catch the vial that was spinning through the air. He tried to jump for it, but he tripped over the giant organ's pedal and fell on top of Luce and The Kernel. The vial spun across the room and shattered on Kwiksilver's head. Luce, Kwiksilver and The Kernel were drenched.

"So that's it then," said Kwiksilver sadly, "We failed."

Suddenly, his entire body lit up with light. So did The Kernel and Luce. They started slowly drawing together.

"We're merging!" cried Luce. "Brace yourselves!"

The Kernel and Kwiksilver came closer into Luce and they were absorbed into her body. A transformation started to take place. Light shone out of Luce's eyes. There was a burst of light like a camera flash, and a beautiful, shining dragon of light was floating in her place. It spoke. It's voice was powerful, one of authority yet kindness. It sounded like three voices together.

"We are one. We are The Brilliance."

It spoke again, as if talking to itself.

"Yes, but this doesn't feel normal. We must be something new. Three minds, three personalities, three sets of skills."

"We have the power and knowledge of Luce."

"We have the courage and skills of Kwiksilver."

"We have the sharp eye and wit of The Kernel."

"We sense something...The Maledict! It is present at the battle. We must go."

With that, The Brilliance raised it's shining wings and took off into the sky, blowing a hole in the roof of Mayor McFlapp's office.

I will continue soon....

The Hyper affair
When Luce got the vile from the mayors office and everyone was fighting off at the capital. Then Luce came with an idea.

"Kernal do you know Tails6000?" Asked luce

"Why yes I have! He was a good friend of mine since we met!" Said the kernal

"Get him here." Said luce

"On it!" said the kernal calling Tails6000's cell phone number

Then Tails and the others were in his plane and he got a call

"Hello Tails6000 here" Said Tails answering

"Tails this is luce meet me at the kernals cellar right away!" Said luce on the cell phone

Tails then zoomed to the kernals house and landed next to the house

"Okay whats the news" Tails said coming in

"Tails do you have the chaos emeralds?" Asked luce

"Why yes I do also I have the super emeralds" Tails said getting them out of his hat

"Tails here is 50 rings you will need to help buy me time to transform to brilliance!" said luce

"Okay Here we go!" Shouted Tails as the four went in the plane and zoomed off to south pole city

"Okay this is a 400 meter drop you sue about this?" asked the kernal talking to the two

"It's fine trust me I survived many skydives lately" said Tails jumping

Then Darktan saw the 2 jumping down

"Who are they?" asked darktan to a doom knight

"It appears to be Luce and Tails6000 sir." Said the doom knight

"Good those 2 well does Tails have 50 rings?" asked darktan

"Yes sir" said the doom knight sweating

"Were doomed" said darktan sending all he can send of his soldiers

Tails then went to his hyper form he was flashing colors except his beak sneakers,eyes,and hoodie

"EVERYONE ITS TAILS AGAIN AH!!!!!!!!!!"! screamed a STINC goon

"Good timing WOT!" Said mayor mcflapp getting ready to catapult tails from the giant slingshot

Then after he was flaming like a torpedo flying through the knights 1 by 1 by 1.

"Good idea Luce" Said the kernal from the plane

Mighty Putty Madness
Darktan pulled out the shadow amulet as he walked up to King Triskelle. Many could tell it wouldn't mean good news.

"At the end of this day," wispered a High Penguin Warrior. "One shall stand and the other shall be pwned."

As Darktan got closer he lifted the Shadow Amulet up and shot a dark beam out of it. Everyone ducked so they wern't hurt but it was clear Darktan wasn't playing by the rules anymore.

"I've been waiting 500 years to asume this form Triskelle. May the Maledict a.......

Darktan was interupted as a lone Bean Human walked up to the crowd.

"Hi Billy Mays here for Mighty Putty! The only brand that is shown to stick anything from a wood plank to a Doom Knight on any flat surface."

Darktan was furious at this Bean Human and ordered a Doom Knight to take him away. Wanting to serve Darktan he pinned Billy down.

"YOU INTERUPTED LORD DARKTAN'S SPEACH!"

Just then however Billy Mays stuck some Mighty Putty in a Snowball Gun and shot it at the Doom Knight's hands sticking them together.

"HEY! What happened?"

Billy got up and everyone cheered.

"See how Mighty Putty sticks a Darktonian Minion's hands together compared to the leading brands."

Then of all things, Billy Mays stuck some Mighty Putty with a steal chain onto Darktan's Castle, and attatched the other end to some Jock Penguins. He then threw a football and the penguins chased after it with the castle being pulled by the Mighty Putty.

"IT HAS THE STRENGTH, TO PULL THIS GIGANTIC CASTLE OVER MILES! NOW THAT'S THE POWER OF MIGHTY PUTTY!"

Everyone cheered except for Darktan. He growled as the Shadow Amulet shot a huge shadow beam across the sky.

"MY CASTLE! MY REALM! YOU'VE RUINED IT!"

"WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT! THAT SCRIPT WAS SO RANDOM! I DO NOT APPROVE!"

Director Benny continued to yell into his Mega phone as Mayor McFlapp continued to play on his organ.

Epilouge
The sun shown over the Province of Pastry as a new day began. A rather worn out penguin relaxed in his house. You would never have guessed that just yesterday this penguin had once tried to take over the USA. This penguin was Darktan, and he now had regained the form of a normal penguin after his transformation to the Maledict. He was now telling some young Chicks the story of how he first got his flippers on the Amulet.

"Never did I imagine that me stealing the Shadow Amulet would cause the USA so much trouble. I should never have done it, and will regret that day forever."

The Chicks clapped for the story, but Darktan was still feeling rather guilty. The South Pole Council had forgiven him and allowed him to live peacefully, but he knew he could never undo what he had done. However Darktan decided he would do whatever it would take to make up for it.

"Well that's all for now little chicks. You'd better be getting home now."

Saying goodbye, the little penguins left his house and went back to their home. Darktan however gazed out the window to a passing cloud.

"Thank you Mayor Mc Flapp. You write the best endings."

"RAAAAAAR! PUNY PENGUIN! ME MAGMA PUFFLE SAY YOU BUY MILKSHAKE! OR ME MAGMA PUFFLE PWN YOU!"

A small penguin screamed as the huge banana colored puffle stood next to a small milkshake stand. Having regained his puffle form, the Magma Puffle had gotten a job selling banana milkshakes to penguins throughout the Province of Pastry.

"WELL, YOU PENGUIN BUY MILKSHAKE OR NOT?"

The small penguin shook and nervously held out five coins.

"H h here y you go."

The puffle grabbed the coins from the penguin. He counted them only to throw them back at the penguin.

"WHAT PENGUIN THINK THIS IS, A CHARITY OPERATION! ME MAGMA PUFFLE SAY PENGUIN OWE WAY MORE!"

Not knowing what else to do the penguin just thew his wallet at the huge beast.

"O HO HO! MAGMA PUFFLE SAY THAT MORE LIKE IT! PENGUIN GET MILKSHAKE NOW!"

After taking his milkshake, the penguin ran incredibly fast (atleast for a penguin) towards his igloo. The Magma Puffle laughed as he counted the coins.

"MAGMA PUFFLE SAY THIS JOB AWSOME!"

"Hey buddy! Three banana milkshakes and make it snappy!"

Kwiksilver walked in with Sprocket on his arm. Luce followed.

"KWIKSILVER! HOW MAGMA PUFFLE'S BEST BUDDY?"

"You said this place makes the best milkshakes, Kwik?" said Luce.

"Yep. Magma here makes THE BEST banana milkshakes," said Sprocket.

"He sure doe-ACHOOO!"

A beam of light shot out of Kwiksilver's eyes and burnt a hole in the counter.

"WHAT THAT FOR?"

"It's alright, Magma!" said Luce, "Kwiksilver just has a lot of Light Energy left in his body. It'll clear up in a couple of weeks."

The trio sat down and sipped their milkshakes.

"So what's next for you?" asked Luce.

"I'm going to get a job and buy an igloo."

Luce laughed.

"You? Get a job? That's impossible! You've always wanted to travel!"

"Oh, you never know, Luce," said Kwiksilver, as he clutched his successful job application sitting in his satchel. "You never know....."

"Yo waiter! We're gettin hungry over here!"

Metal Explorer walked out in his new cooking apron and hat. He looked very frustrated and was covered in coal.

"Hey where's the global warming penguin! You'll get your fish!"

The robot continued to growl as he went around serving fried fish to various Penguins. After he was destroyed by Tails6000, Metal Explorer had been rebuilt into a community service bot.

"YO WAITER! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE CUSTOMER IS ALLWAYS RIGHT! WE NEED THAT FISH!"

Now having lost his patience, the robot pulled out a large mullet and wacked the customer in a way similar to Penghis Khan.

"WELL WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DON'T RUSH THE BOT!"

After having slapped the customer about thirty times, Metal Explorer slapped the table with his Mullet causing the table to snap in half. After he calmed down he pulled out a small cash register.

"That'll be 7 coins please."

The Kernel then walked up to the two customers. He held out a plate of fried fish and placed it on their now broken table.

"Well I say I'm mighty sorry folks. It'll never happen again. If it does, I say I'll be person'ly firin this here bot."

Metal Explorer grinned and walked up to The Kernel.

"In that case how about I get out a Banana Blaster."

The Kernel looked sternly at Metal Explorer, and gave him a slap on the head.

"Nice try bot. Now you get goin. You still gotta be fixin that there sink."

Handing him the cleanin supplies and tools, Kentucky sent the bot to work. Metal Explorer growled though, and thought back to when Darktan had joined the good side.

"That's what I get for trusting a penguin! Mark my words USA! I will get revenge!"

"Now repeat after me noob face! I would like to buy a fish burger.

It was night and Mabel sat in a prison cell. Despite some might wishing it, the puffle wasn't under arrest. Infact she hadn't even comitted a crime that day. She was teaching the noob Mwa Mwa Penguin, Manny Peng. Just a few days ago she had captured him, and now she was attempting to teach him proper English.

"Me wod wike two bwuy a fwish bwurger."

Mabel growled at him holding out a ruler. She gave him a terrifying stare that might even scare the Maledict.

"NO NO NO! That's not right at all! Just for that you get five hours of detention!"

For a few seconds Manny Peng just sniffled, but soon he let out a huge whine.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAA! WOO PLOOPY! ME HWATE WOO!"

As he continued to cry Mabel simply rolled her eyes. Packing her suit case she left the prison cell.

"I'll be back tomorrow, maybe. No watching Elmo!"

With that Mabel stuck her tounge out at him and left. Manny whined even louder now, and the prison guards covered their ears (or whatever penguins have).

"MWE WANT TWO SWEE HWIS MWAGESTY! MWE WANT DWARKTAN! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Up in Ternville all who had fought in the Pie War celebrated. Everyone feasted on roast Mullet, and drank Cream Soda. A huge dance party was held, and Cadence appeared as a special guest star. Auld Lang Syne played his achordian, and everyone danced to none other than it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time.

"Woo ho! Good versus Evil! Good versus Evil! Good versus Evil with a baseball bat!"

Then the most unexpected thing happened. Out of nowhere came the Annoying Old Party Penguin and Director Benny. They both looked very angry.

"Hmph! Today's youth sickens me! Why I remember the time when........

"I do not approve of this party! Everyone.....

Mayor Mc Flapp simply used his organ to teleport the two away and the party continued. Even a few Doom, and Abyss Knights danced at the party. However in the midst of all this Proffessor Shroomsky wrote down something it a blank book. Tails then walked up to the fungus.

"What ya writin there proffessor?"

Shroomsky looked up and handed him the book.

"I think it'll be a best seller. I'll call it, The Great Darktonian Pie War."

Speed then appeared out of nowhere (actually he'd been standing there the whole time as he can turn invisible) partly startling the two.

"There's no doubt about that Shroomsky. We go out to war and come back with an amazing party."

Blizzard then walked up and commented.

"And perhaps the greatest penguin story ever told."

As the warriors of the war triumped over the evil, all was well in the USA once again.

However, a new villain, a dark wraith named Nightmare, gloated as he watched the whole battle the entire time, through a crystal ball.

"Ahhh, my plan is coming together nicely. With my enemy Darktan out of the way, I can utilize a surprise attack, and force the X-Virus to activate on all creatures, building my army. Those idiotic penguins subdued the only thing that could stop me, I do love it when penguins are kind enough to do my work for me.."

With a cackling evil laugh, all went silent.

end of epilogue

Special sneak peek at next story's prologue!
Mayor McFlapp peeped his head through the doorway of the study.

"You wanted me, sah?"

The adressee, a penguin as black as the Director, turned from his enormous typewriter. A golden crest with an embossed "A" was pinned to his chest.

"Hello, Mayor. I've just had an idea for a new story," said the penguin in a soft, calm voice. "It's a sequel to one of your narrations. I'd like you to see it."

The Mayor waddled up to the penguin's desk, which was located to the right of the giant typewriter. On the desk was a veritable mess of cluttered papers.

"What do you think?" asked the penguin.

"Hmm. Well, this is a very interesting flippin' plotline..." replied Mayor McFlapp, "but don't you think the citizens of the bally USA have had enough, wot? Defeating Darktan and all."

"I merely thought it would be a fitting end to the story. If you like, I'll scrap it," sighed the penguin.

"No, no no no no!" said the Mayor. "I'll think about narrating it, wot wot; I'll inform you of my deciscion within the bally month, eh?"

"Whatever you like, Mayor McFlapp."

"Ah, yes, wot! Very insightful and adventurous plot, if I may say so, sah. It may suffice!" commended Mayor McFlapp, who was re-reading the sheet of paper that the penguin had given to him. Just then, the Mayor's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" asked Mayor McFlapp. "Ah, yes, Becky! Mm-hmm. Yes. Really? That early? Oh dear. Be bally there, wot wot! G'bye!"

Mayor McFlapp turned to the penguin and swept his top hat off as he bowed.

"Hope t' see you soon, Mr. Billybob! Meeting re-scheduled, got to go. I'll think about it for now, wot!"

With that, he left.

end of prologue