Bugzy VS. Spanky

Bugzy VS. Spanky was a fight between Bugzy and Spanky, to decide who was the PWNAGE King. It raged on for almost a whole month, but the true victor was decided soon enough.

The event
After the events in the Great Darktonian Pie War, many of the citizens began to relax, and live a care-free life once again. However, not all was at peace, for Spanky stole all the continent's PWNAGE. Nobody really cared, and Bugzy was just too lazy to do something about it, but that quickly changed...

Chapter 1: The Fight Begins!
Our story starts in a merry little town of the USA. However, one day, an evil creature known as Spanky stole all the Pwnage from the continent, and claimed it to be his. He then proceeded to deem himself worthy of the title PWNAGE King. Nobody really cared about this, but word spread to Bugzy, who felt that he should be the PWNAGE King. It is a tale of stupidity, sorrow, and laughs for the whole family.

"YO BUGZY!" GANGSTA G yelled, running up to him; "LISTEN TO THIS!"

GANGSTA G showed Bugzy the headlines of the newspaper. He was not impressed;

"So, this kid thinks he can take away the meaning of PWNAGE eh? I gotta say, I don't like this. Where can I find him?"

"Looks like he's rollin in da hoodz dawg. He's goin round the USA tellin' people to bow down to his superior PWNAGE,"

"Oh really? Now he's offended me. I'm sure all of the penguins know that I am the most PWNAGE in Antarctica."

"Well, there's this Penghis Khan kid, and he's apparently more pwnage than--" GANGSTA G was interrupted, as Bugzy held him in a Suplex Move;

"Were you sayin' somethin'?"

"Nah boss, I was sayin' that you are more PWNAGE than that Penghis Khan kid."

"Good." Bugzy said, letting go of the gangster.

"Well dawg, what are we gonna do 'bout this Spanky kid?" GANGSTA G asked;

"I'm going to do the only thing I know how - by letting you think of something for me."

GANGSTA G gave Bugzy a look as if to say "Get a job, you lazy slacker", and waddled off.

Meanwhile, in Spanky's Imperial Castle, his faithful minion LungeKnob had just came back from his mission.

"Take that ridiculous costume off." Spanky said to LungeKnob, who was removing his GANGSTA G costume;

"So what did you find out?"

"Erm.. he.. isn't really going to do anything.."

"WHAT!" Spanky yelled. His voice was echoing through the entire castle;

"Well, umm, yeah, well, its just err... he doesn't like the idea of you claiming PWNAGE King oh great one, but he is too lazy to do something about it."

"Then make him un-lazy!"

"Erm, not to question your authoritahhh sire, but why would you want Bugzy to interfere with your plans?"

Spanky started to walk to one of the castle windows, and looked outside of it;

"I've.. always hated that bug. To have him crushed would be a glorious victory for me."

"But sire--"

"You don't know what it's like LungeKnob! You don't know how much I work my brain out to spoonfeed the public lies. I even persuaded my brother KneeSack to enforce my will. I told him to make everyone believe that I committed suicide because of Bugzy, but NOOOOOOOOOO, that insolent little cockroach found a way to foil my plans!"

"Sire, if you would just--"

"I would go to the end of the world to see him fall. I would destroy the entire continent of Antarctica just to see that cockroach scream. Heck, I'd even break the COC just to see that smug face on that roach drop.

I've taken what he claims to have. I've stolen all the PWNAGE in the continent, and yet.. he doesn't even care?"

"Sire, I have a plan to grab Bugzy's attention" LungeKnob said, whispering something in Spanky's ear;

Spanky paused for a moment;

"Oh yes, that would surely grab his attention!"

Back in the UPM headquarters, Bugzy was sleeping, as usual. ClockWerk burst into his office with grave news;

"Bugzy, wake up!" he urged;

"ZZZzzzZzzZzzz... not today Ma, I don't wanna go to school. I'm fake sicking it. Someone take me to the nearest bank...." Bugzy muttered in his sleep;

Clockwerk shook him in an attempt to wake him;

"BUGZY! WAKE UP! NOW! THIS IS URGENT!"

"Sleeping is urgent too..."

"Bugzy, Spanky kidnapped almost everyone you know in the USA!"

"ZzzzZzzz.. tell them to have fun in their vacation... *snort* wait, what?"

"Spanky sent a GANGSTA G decoy to find out if you would challenge him. You were too lazy, and now he's stolen the entire penguin population, as well as the PWNAGE!"

"So what. They'll figure out some way to escape. Besides, no one actually escaped to make a deal with me, so I don't needa do nothin'"

"I need to think fast, there's gotta be a way to get through to Bugzy" ClockWerk thought to himself;

"Uhhh.... Spanky also stole your money." ClockWerk lied;

"WHAT? WHAT!! I CAN'T SLEEP WHILE THERE'S SOMEONE MORE RICHER THAN ME! WE NEED TO SHOW THIS SPANKY KID THE TRUE DEFINITION OF PWNAGE!1!1"

"You mean you go. The author of this story has forbid me to fight with Spanky, otherwise the title of the story would throw people off"

"What are you talking about bro?" Bugzy said, as he looked into the Reader's view;

"Am I just some made-up character to you?"

"There's no time for questions, go find Spanky, and free the penguins! I mean.. the money, of course."

"Right on, dawg." Bugzy said, as he flew off;

To Be Continued

Result

 * Happy Ending
 * No one died