User blog:Alex001/Don't Take Pity. Really!

I don't know why I must choose this time, but bother. I simply want to express my feelings on what has happened during my absence on the wiki. It is painful to me-but please don't take pity. I don't want to have someone suspicious of me and claiming that I'm lying, which even though its okay, I still feel guilty.

I'd like to clear up some matters first with three fellow users-Sancho, Tails and Spider880. I've disliked Sancho, threatened Tails and probably added 'R's to his character's page. First off, I disliked Sancho at first because I was selfish-I didn't someone else to dominate aviation in the wiki. I didn't like the new 'airlines' category back then, and I didn't like how MammothAir got A380s. The only thing I don't understand is why I could not say that I hated Sancho back then. It was my personal feeling-and it was in no way insulting Sancho. I didn't say he was bad or anything back then, so why should I be blocked? However, I still regret this incident, and I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Sancho.

At the time, I wanted to focus on CP games, not video games, thus against the creation of new fan-made video games on the wiki. Tails was (and is) a large contributor to the video games section of the wiki, thus I disliked him back then, too. I felt that this was unfair, as I felt that it was still in relation to CP. I also 'threatened' Tails to merge the three Brawl parodies, or else delete that page. I felt that I had threatened Tails way too far, thus, I would also like to apologise to Tails over this matter. (By the way, the Brawl matter has been cleared up, as all three games were sorted to a respecvtive console).

Lastly, but not least, I would like to apologize to Spider880 for everything I've done. You are great, and I am really sorry for everything I've done that hurt you. Please, forgive me. I'm trying to make up for my past errors very much, so please accept my apology.

Now, the main thing I want to talk about is quite about what happened during my absence. I really wanted to share it with you for the past three months, and I decided to do it today.

I let go of the wiki and was submerged into the world of HTF. I was carefree and Facebooked everyday. I played Airline Mogul, trying to earn profits and earn enough money to purchase another widebody. I also fell in love with YouTube and created an account of my own, hoping to become a star.

However, it was until January 30th 2010 did the scare began. That lead to a chain of events-that almost ruined my life. This wiki stopped it from occuring.

Please take the time to read this. I really hope you would. There would be no excessive whining in this passage, but my true feelings.

January 30, 2010, at around 3:30 PM. I got back from my tuition class and went on to my iPod. Earlier in the day, I went to YouTube and found out that there was a film festival-which I forgot. If any of you remember, then thats good, because you'll understand this better. Please do not try this out. I am not goinng to tell you what it is. At all.

So, I found this video, in which the main topic was on another video I've watched months back. I dub it 'Skleen Jams'. I listened and watched the first few seconds on my iPod, and then paused. I didn't want to get scared.

At around 4, I switched on one of my computers and started to search for the video. That time, however, I muted the audio and simply went to the sections I wanted to watch. It did not really frighten me then, but the full effects came in a day later, on the last day of January.

I went home with my mother on a bus, and listened to the iPod. Then, I remembered the video that I watched. Now, it was quite scary, but I didn't think so when I watched it. I recalled the video, and I started to feel scared. I was so scared, that a fever arose. That was the Skleen Jams scare.

For the first week, I had no appetite for dinner or breakfast, neither did I want to sleep late. I did rituals that my OCD told me to, and it almost ruined my life. Following that, several other things came in. It eventually stopped on March 2, 2010.

I'd explain more in detail on my next blog post. And then, talk about the truamtic experience that followed-which involved mostly religon and dreams.

Anyway, I would like to annouce that Hurt and Heal-Round 7, would be coming up shortly. The image contest I'm currently holding would have its second round too. Until then, I would be waiting. And have a nice day. Don't end up like me. All feelings are genuine. But there should be no pity for me. Thank you.