User:TurtleShroom



Hello! I am TurtleShroom, a frequent editor on this wiki. I dispise swearing, enjoy writing articles, love the COC, and I am a Christian. I'm not ashamed to say that, and I do testify my faith on YouTube (well, used to, until parental monitoring banned YT comments altogether). I won't do it much here (it's against the COC), but I would like to inform you of it, since my faith is unwavering.

This is my CPFW user page, as you can probably tell. If you want a much better description of me, please see my user page on the CPW.



Chairs were everywhere around my helicopter at the Anti Club Penguin Fanon Wiki Wiki.

Templates


TurtleShroom





I'm a Winner!
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Wiki Videos
If, on the rare occasion I relenquish my dignity and embarrass myself by posting a video consisting of nothing but CPFW characters, items and themes, you're bound to find it here.

Video:Little Drummer Boy... Next Door - Special 1337 Str00del Edition|I made this. Video:'Twas the Wiki at Christmas - CPFW|I made this. My voice stinks. Video:All I Want for Christmas is You - Starring Walrus - Part of Christmas in July - FEATURING MULTIPLE CPFW CHARACTERS|I made this as well. Starring Walrus.

--TurtleShroom

See Turtle and Shroom for the two characters that I represent in Antarctica.

Polls
"No man can be bored, for he who owns a computer owns a portal to infinite playtime, and equally infinite stupidity." - Me.

My quotes are awesome (not really).

Do You Want Triskelle Back? (vote no and Mabel will spam you with hate mail) YES! YYYYYEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! Please, come back! PLEASE! We need you, we are sorry, PLEASE COME BACK!! No. (Mabel will find you!)

So, I've heard you like Mudkips. Is this true? Yes No

What this Internet-Phenomonon based question random in your opinion? Yes No I like turtles.

Do you play Club Penguin? Yes No

Do you think I need a life? I think so, and do not take offense if you agree. YES! No.

Do you like Mabel? Who doesn't? YES! I'M IN THE MMK! YES! I AM HER #1 FAN! Yes No ARE YOU KIDDING? Mabel? Why are you asking this?! Do YOU like Mabel?

So... what do you want to do today? Build a roller coaster. Install an artificial coastline in your back yard. Get sent to a state penitentiary because you got caught building a large structure, such as a roller coaster. Search for your missing platypus. I don't watch Phineas and Ferb.

Does this user page need more Balalaika? Yes! No. NO, IT NEEDS COWBELLS! I have yet to read the article. Then read it!

After seeing my polls, will you make some of your own? Yes! No!

What computer operating system do you use? Windows Macintosh Mobile Phone Linux

TS' Schedule
As all of you know, I look as if I am highly unpredictable, appearing and disappearing at random.

However, I follow a surprisingly steady ritual in normality, courtesy of Autism and Obbsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Sunday Schedule
On the holy Sabbath, I run this.


 * On Sundays, I am at church from 9:45 AM to about 12:30 PM. From there, cousin in-law from 3:00 PM to 6:00 if he comes, and evening worship until about 7:30 PM, then dinner.


 * If on Vacation, negate this.

Eternal Invarients
The following never change unless I am on vacation.


 * By an eight year tradition, I travel to my great-grandmother's residence every Wednesday night for a feast and a time of peace with the wonderful old lady in question. She's such a blessing to me, so I halt most contributions other than perhaps one on the phone.


 * Finally, if I speak on the Shout Box, I AM on the site! You don't need to ask if I'm there, because I make an attempt to inform you of my departure if I am forewarned.


 * Bedtime/bath time occurs at exactly 9:30 PM, mandatory. 10:00 PM on Fridays.
 * In the summer, all electronics are shut off at 10:00 PM, mandatory. 10:30 PM on Fridays.

Hopefully, this will help all of you when I seemingly vanish.
 * After bedtime, I am forbidden to touch electronics in any circumstances until 6:00 AM the following morning. The process repeats again and again and again and again.....

In Case of Instant Shout Box Vanishing...

 * If I ever vanish right in the middle of an important or meaningful Shout Box discussion without warning, you are to assume the following:
 * Power outage. (VERY RARE)
 * Computer error. (PROBABLY)
 * Technical difficulty such as freezing. ( MOST LIKELY )
 * Computer restart. (ALSO HIGHLY LIKELY)
 * Parental orders on short notice, such as bedtime.
 * Punishment. (Rare)
 * Emergency, such as a tornado, death in the family, or other urgent matter (Slim chance if ever, though I live in a tornado-prone reigon and have an 89 year old great-grandmother).
 * Sudden request for an important out-in-the-town such as a movie, dinner, required shopping trip, groceries, ect.
 * Cousin-in-law visit.
 * Wednesday Great-grandmother ritual.

Summer
Summer is wild and variable to extremes. Here is what you can DEFINATELY count on.


 * Bedtime at 10:00 PM, 10:30 PM on Fridays.


 * Awakening, hygine and meals compeleted by 11:30 AM at any case.


 * Vacations will be announced. We have one seven day vacation annually.

In the Summer, we do more, hold parties, festivities, and random events. Our family invites others over, and we all have a grand old time the entire solstice. I vanish almost instantly (often without goodbyes) in this timespan with little to no warning. Family runions, random outings, restaurants and celebrations are abundant, not to mention my Birthday!

Any additions or clarifications may be requested on the talk page.

This schedule is subject to parental monitoring. By using this schedule you agree to not blame TS if he does not follow it. If you experience side effects, stop taking TS' schedule as fact and consult your professor immediantly. Your results may vary, all rights reserved.

Stupid Videos I Enjoy
If Tails did it, why can't I?

'''Any video I share here is, in accordnce my views, family friendly. Everything said or performed on the videos would appear on a children's network without much issue if the developers wanted to. The videos you see on this gallery are upheld to my high moral standards, and as such, are clean. Anything you see here is something that I am comfortable watching.'''

Sit back and enjoy... just don't sit on any CCCHHHHHAAAAAAAIIIIIIRRRRRRSSSSSS.......

(any possibly offensive word will be forewarned, I am only responsible for the links I provide, do not click related links and blame me if unholiness appears)

 LFvQ6hx9Iq8  ^ I'M A CHAIR. (contains the word referenced here)

KYP--c2LTfg  ^ The original.

zzEGwUhJuHg  ^ You know you're a nerd when...

AQ_bYdBMODI

^ A video of THAT quality as madness.



 tTYr3JuueF4  ^ I LIKE BIG BIBLES AND I CAN NOT LIE!!   qx5hBVhg4Bk  ^ My favorite president is also a Ninja who ducks like the Matrix™.

LEXh2s-6hEo  ^ If you want to get yourself a Toadsworth, you've got to know what a Toad is worth.



 Mn1LkUS0COE

^ One of my earlier favorited videos.

7EsswW3PJ1Q

^ This was the first video to ever catch the Yellow Puffle on tape, way back in 2007. It was used on the CPW as proof of the yellow puffle's existence.

SObkyKWgeaM

^ For those of you who have heard "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor", you were hearing a remix. THIS is the original version, 1912. Alternate lyrics, though.

c-HfSSNSnFs

^ THE SECOND VIDEO I EVER FAVORITED. Epic win.

6H-OD6CFoDI

^ Without any sort of religion violation, inbreeding, marrying relatives, or polygamy, here is how to become your own grandfather completely legally and without spoiling the gene pool. Very educating, facinating, really. No marraige of relatives needed. 

 94T9c95sZSE

^ Words can not describe this, but I'll try anyway. Weird Al Yankovic remixes popular songs at the time of composure with traditional folk instruments. Also... GOLD-GOLD DIGGER! GOLD-GOLD DIGGER! GOLD-GOLD DIGGER! GOLD-GOLD DIGGER! -*static*-

CTWDoWz_evs  <br style="clear:both;" />

Random Trivia
Thank you Triskelle.


 * An unenforced blue law in the penal code of Gainesville, Georgia actually bans eating fried chicken with a fork.


 * Spanking a child in a public school is legal in 21 states in the USA. To get a whacking with the Board of Education (a big wooden paddle with holes in it), your parents must sign a contract authorizing it. Only the Prinicpal has the authority to do it. It hurts as bad as it did fifty years ago. The proper term is corporal punishment.


 * By 2020, the world's old folks will outnumber the youth for the first time in recorded history.


 * In Kansas, Whaling in illegal (it's also banned in every other state in the Union, unless you're Inuit/Eskimo).


 * A legal will (the thing that gives stuff at death and explains what to do with the body) can do pretty much anything that doesn't violate the law or privacy of others. One woman requested to be buried, quote: "in a silken dress, next to her husband, in her Ferrari, with the seat slanted comfortably". The request was granted without issue, but the grave was permanently sealed with concrete to prevent grave robbers.


 * The city of Boston once banned Christmas. It was a week after a Catholic mass and a seperate secular feast. The Boston folks were racist to Catholics at that time, so no Santa for them...


 * The stuff your pencil writes with (graphite) is exactly identical to what's in the rings of the planet Uranus. It has eleven rings of solid pencil graphite.


 * You get more harmful radiation by stepping out into the sunlight than in an entire dental X-Ray procedure.


 * It is possible to be allergic to chicken, gold, sunlight, and most any item except water.


 * Poisen Ivy isn't poison, nor ivy. It's actually an allergen. "Poisons" affect everyone no matter what, while allergens only affect certain people. Some people can roll around in Poison Ivy and walk away, while others touch it and swell up like Mabel eating onions.


 * Unless you have a genetic defect like someone who can twist themselves like pretzels, it is impossible to lick your own elbow.


 * If California sueceeded from the United States, as a country, it would still have the Seventh wealthiest economy alone.


 * A flaw in the United States Consitution's First Amendment grants people who parody other's works full permission to do what they want with it without the person getting parodied's permission.


 * Krytocracy, the current government of the fictional USA, does not currently exist in any form or fashion in the Real World.


 * Mullets are real fish.


 * There really IS a Walla-Walla Washington in the USA.


 * Turtles, whales, dogs, and most any complex animal can flatulate.


 * "Luke, I am your god": Legend says that "Jedi" is a religion. I'll make a guess on their afterlife: good people go to live with Yoda and Luke Skywalker, bad people are cast to the land where Darth Vader is. LOL, all your faith are belong to us. SOMEBODY SET US UP THE RELIGION!


 * COW FARTS AND BURPS ALONE CONTRIBUTE TO 50% OF ALL CARBON DIOXIDE EMISSIONS ON THE EARTH! Cars and industries contribute, oh, about 3% at the most. All other animals letting it rip contribute the rest.


 * In the 1970s, Global Cooling was the panic of the environment. It swapped to Warming in the 1990s using the same data that predicted the cooling. Warming was also a panic in the 1890s... then cooling, then warming, then cooling, ect.


 * Al Gore (the presidential canidate of 2000) truly thinks he invented the Internet, or at least played a major factor in doing so.


 * It is suspected by some that Global Warming won't destroy the earth. Instead, it is expected that human's pollution will halt the long overdue Ice Age that was supposed to hit a while back.


 * If the average human brain was a computer, it could hold more than 5 Terabytes worth, possibly a few Petabytes if lucky.


 * Don't believe the television: you're brain stops growing in size at age six. After that, your brain forms connections to other parts of it.


 * Ninjas DID NOT wear all black. They actually wore all dark-navy blue (which was nearly as dark as black), and only at night to be invisible. In the day, Ninjas wore normal clothing ranging from peasent robes to kingly dress. It all depended on their mission, because Ninjaas were low-ranking, backside kicking assasins. However, they really could climb walls and ceilings if it was flat and they had the tools. Since most Japanese housings of the time were thick paper and wood and such, they could latch on in that manner.


 * Only Amish men who are married can wear beards. Beards are a sign of matrimony.


 * Turtles can only come out of their shells if humans can come out of their ribs.


 * Purposely killing a cat in ancient Egypt was a capital offense.


 * It is unknown which Pharoh ruled when Moses ran the Bibilical Exodous. Chrisitan and Jewish archeologists say they may never know, not because Exodus was fiction, but that Egyptian hyreoglyphics only documented a Pharoh's journey to their Afterlife; they were not biographies.


 * The Heaven's Gate cult believed that UFOs were their gods (ROTFL!), seriously, and when Comet Hale-Bopp came by, they all killed themselves so that their spirits could "rise with the comet and meet the UFOs who are following it so that they could get their real bodies". I laugh just thinking about the fact that they actually worshipped UFOs.


 * Flying a Soviet Flag in the nation of Latvia is illegal.


 * What does the phrase "Azarath Metrion Zenthos" mean? Absolutely nothing.


 * The world's oldest joke: "How do you make any man an instant fisherman? You take a bunch of pretty women and cast them up the river." - it was hilarous back then, in 1500 BC.


 * It is legal to worship Genghis Khan in Mongolia.


 * The Berlin Wall may have been the most grafittied item on the earth.


 * Islam is the largest religion on earth by numbers, Christianity the largest by Conversion Rate.


 * No matter where they are on the earth, a believer of Islam must face the city of Mecca. How they do it without a compass is beyond me.


 * In a few hundred thousand years, all compasses will point SOUTH and not north. The magnetic field is due to flip around that time.


 * NASA is actually one of the lowest funded Government Agencies, down there with Education.


 * You still can't sell alcohal on Sundays in three USA states.


 * If you have the money, you can sue anything in an American court, even the President of the United States.


 * The founder of Kodak Industries hated to have his picture taken.


 * Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, actually refused to have one in his study room because the ringing "drove him crazy".


 * Thomas Edison did not invent the Lightbulb. It's actual inventor was Joseph Swan. However, why does Edison get the credit? Simple: Joseph Swan's lightbulb stunk on ice.


 * By absolute core definition, the first true Computer was not ENIAC. What is newly considered the first "computer" was invented in 1935. It could calculate 2+2=4 in twenty four hours... amazing.


 * For a pasta shape to be considered "authentic", it must originate from Italy. There are around 200 shapes that fit this, including spaghetti and maccoroni noodles.


 * The worlds's first e-mail read QWERTYUIOP, the world's first Spam was an advertisement for "superior" Internet servers, both in the late 1980s.


 * In 2008, the Pokemon games included a religion as part of the plot in their newest series (and I immediantly boycotted it). In the real world, there are no followers, yet. It states that everything was made by a Pokemon and that folks that die go to some wonderland where they live in happiness, or they return as ghosts (their choice). The bad characters get zapped by said Poke-god and I presume they just cease to exist. In a strange twist of irony, the Poke-god can be captured like any other pokemon character can. Who wants to own their own god?


 * The GPS system is destined to fail within one year!! Why? The ancient satillites that run it haven't been replaced nor maintained since they existed. It is unknown if it will be replaced, so you better break out the Maps of yore.


 * The phrase "Mene Mene Tekel Parsin" means "you die tonight", according to the Bible. (Daniel 5:25-30)


 * 62% of America hates George Bush, according to a nationwide poll.


 * Break out the tin foil: television CAN cause brain damage if you sit too close (three feet or less) for multiple hours on end. Apparently, the reciver that projects the signals onto your screen run on alpha waves, and these are slightly radioactive. Computers, however, don't do this.
 * How can you stop TV brain rotting? Sit a reasonable distance form the set and don't watch it for more than six hours. Be sure to stand up every now and then, and if it's day, use sunlight over artificial light (sunlight is good for your eyes). Alpha waves can be stoped with a sheet of copy paper, s sit back a good distance and the waves will stop themselves.


 * Part of the binomeial nomenclature for a Ficus is ficus.


 * The capital of Luxembourg is Luxembourg, the capital of Idaho is Boise.


 * New York City is NOT the captial of Ney York State!


 * Live chickens do NOT taste like chicken.


 * It is theorized that Albert Einstein, Isacc Newton, and the inventor of Pokemon all had Aspergers Syndrome.


 * Obbsessive Compulsive Disorder is as common as diabetes, recent studies suggest.


 * In Britain, a man once got a Government Grant ($10,000 worth) to kick a can down an alley in white platform shoes.


 * The members of the infamous band known as Kiss invented Gothicism (also called "goth"), that tounge thing, punk rock, heavy metal, and the finale of shattering your instrument on stage. Their tounges really are that long, no enhancement needed.


 * The shoe manufacturer that sold their footwear to the Iraqi Journalist (the Bush attacker) obtained a substansial sales boost after the publicity.


 * Pizza really did come from Italy, as did spaghetti, lasagna, and calzones/strumbolis.


 * Coca-Cola is considered "kosher" in Judaism. That means it is legal to eat/drink just prior to Passover, when all yeast is banned. However, only certain kinds of Coke are considered kosher, such as Classic (it's pure sugar, no yeast).


 * NEVER ask what is in a Haggis or a hot dog. You may never eat it again.


 * Black Holes do not last forever; they actually explode in a process called "Hawking Radiation".


 * Time Travel (to the future) would only occur if you could go at 99.99% the speed of light in a circle for a good long duration of time. It would take even more time to do it straight.


 * The State of California somehow went bankrupt in May of 2009.


 * Mobile phones render all foreign text into ??????????????????.


 * You must wash your hands before touching a Koran (the Islam's equivalent to the Bible).


 * There is actually an online site that sells toilet paper with Osama Bin Laden on it. Want some?


 * It is possible to become an ordained minister online without any education or faith. Yes, it is shady.

SHOP!
User:TurtleShroom/TurtleShroom Productions/Idea Market

Jesus Loves You and Died for You!
"'For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him may not parish, but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son to condemn the world, but through Him the world can be saved.'"

-John 3:16-17, the Holy Bible.

-- † कछुए मशरूम! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! † :)  :) DON'T YOU DARE QUIT BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED!!!!!!!! † 15:08, 12 June 2009 (UTC)