Albert Al-Sahaf

Albert Al-Sahaf is the official Minister of Denial in the Executive Cabinet of the USA. His job is to deny the obvious facts around him obliviously. He's a favorite among the masses but serves an actual purpose in the EC (for internal government reasons only). The Troublesome Trio loves pranking him and the entire EC, as does the few mischevious SPC delegates.

Background
Albert was born in rough times in what is now East Pengolia. His father "SandDom Hooze-yuh-sane-daddy Al-Sahaf" (or Sandy as the neighbors called him) was the local mayor (and a very tyranical one at that), his mother later joned the TaliBEANs.

The family was filthy stinking rich, but poor Albert was bullied at the local shcool by the ninth graders upward (CP schools run K-12) because his father was a harsh and oppressive mayor. Of his many tyrannical deeds, some of his more famous is building a giant statue of himself in the down square.

Unfortunately, the Al-Sahaf family's money went down the drain, their town revolted and epically toppled the statue in front of the cheering city population of 37 creatures.

They had to flee and unincorporate their city's charter, leaving Itsy Bitsy Tiny Micro Town as the largest incorporated area.

Bullied when rich and poor, Albert turned to denial. For the rest of his education (until he dropped out in the eigth grade), he denied everything bad and the occasional good thing. He found joy in being blissfully ignorant of the world surrounding him and being in denial of all fact, so much that the bullies no longer upset him and they left. He now denies any bullying in his youth.

When he got older, as was tradition with Khanze royalty (Mayors are considered royalty), Alber was given a hat (the beret) and set off to make his fortune.

Involvement
Albert and the EC is a major prank target from the legislative branch of government (who are on the opposite wing of the same building). The SPC loves to torment the EC because the vast majority of them lack power, and Albert was appointed to calm them down and help them do their jobs.

Quotes
Poor Albert denies and asserts false stuff... read on.


 * "We will welcome them (the Troublesome Trio) with bannana bullets and shoes... clown shoes."


 * Mayor McFlapp will roast Mabel's stomach in barbacues at the hands of her Master.
 * O_O


 * There are no corrupt policiticans in our government!


 * There are no pranksters within 100 miles of our wing. They are not in any place. They hold no place in this room. This is an illusion... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion!


 * Mayor McFlapp does not even have control over himself! Do not believe him!


 * We have retaken the capitol and have fired the pranksters. There are NO pranksters minions in the SPC wing. I will take you there and show you. IN ONE HOUR!


 * They (the Pranksters) will be PWNed. We are going to tackle them. Truly!


 * They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them!


 * Desperate pranksters...


 * Listen, this surge of whoopee cushions does not frighten us any longer. Their millions of banna peels do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days we managed to shoot down one hundred ninety six incoming snowballs before they hit their targets, which are us.


 * There are no pompus infidels in a high seat of power. Never!


 * Mabel is not worth an old shoe.


 * THERE ARE NO MORE QUOTES TO ADD. I triple guarentee you that there is nothing more that can be said for the joy of other readers. There are no editors who want to add more of my speeches on the pompus or pranking infidels! The mushroom that says to expand this is lying! HE IS TRYING TO SELL YOU A LIE!

Minister of Walruses Tony Tushks: I'm covered in pie!

Albert: They are sick in their minds. They say they brought sixty five pies upon your seal face. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind...

Tony: DUDE, I'M COVERED IN PIE! PLUS, I'M A (good) WALRUS!

Albert: There are no Walri within our city limits. They are deleting themselves at the gates. Be assured, South Pole City is safe, protected.

Tony: DUDE!

Trivia

 * Albert does not carry a fish like most Khanz Penguins, he just denies it.


 * Poor Albert has bad grammar.


 * A lot of people still laugh at him.


 * Albert has a fan club, some people can't get enough of his denial.


 * The Executive Cabinet loves him and his shannigans.


 * Explorer loves to hear his stories.


 * His beret was ranked #6 on the "TWENTY MOST PWNSOME HATS OF ALL TIME" list by "Booyah Reviews! - Magazine". #5 was Explorer's tittle hat. Could this be the cause of all of the pranks directed at the EC branch?