User blog:TurtleShroom/Bugzy Facts

Most of you have probably heard of Chuck Norris Jokes, which are actually "Chuck Norris Facts".

I must now share with you "facts" about someone who may be as great as Chuck Norris.

You know him, you fear him, and he kicks butt in court.

That's right, I'm talking about the one, the only, Bugzy.


 * Bugzy sees through the fifth wall.


 * Bugzy is a Master of the Universe. His job is to make sure everyone thinks he is awesome.


 * Bugzy once robbed the Pizza Parlor blind. He then took off his blindfold and enjoyed a delicious pizza.


 * Bugzy once sued the pants off of a complainer. You can find these pants in the Deletion Void. They are all that is left of the plaintiff.


 * Bugzy's hat can slice through diamond and still not wrinkle.


 * Bugzy's power level is over nine thousand. Cubed.


 * Franky the Squealer got away because Bugzy wanted someone to use the Dance of a Thousand Spankings on. He has yet to recieve his punishment because Bugzy has better things to do.


 * Bugzy once stared at the glass casing of a jewelry display. The glass broke and he stole the gems.


 * Bugzy stared at Weegee.


 * Bugzy went to jail because he needed a vacation. If he wanted to escape the AIA, he could have lifted his right appendage and he would have won.


 * Bugzy once defeated King Triskelle in a swimming contest.


 * Bugzy once suplexed the air, just to demonstrate his move. He tore a hole in the space time continuium, thereby allowing the Bureau of Fiction to enter the Fourth Wall. Bugzy now charges the Bureau rent for using his space.


 * Bugzy can not be a Saint. This is because the green circle around a Saint's head in their icon represents PWNage. If Bugzy ever recieved Sainthood, his icon would have to accomodate all of the PWNage that he has. Therefore, the circle and the portrait would have to be collosal. Not only do the Governance and Keith lack enough green paint to depict such PWNage, the picture would be so big, that the earth and its moon would start orbiting around it, making the icon of Bugzy the third planet from the sun. However, the world already revolves around Bugzy anyway, so there is no need to do it again.


 * Bugzy drew Illustrator Keith, approved Benny, and created DJ X's voice.


 * Mayor McFlapp speaks like he does because Bugzy once suplexed him in the throat, damaging his vocal cords.


 * Bugzy once found himself behind Tsar MobileShroom I's vehicle. Bugzy simply stepped on the gas and phased through MobileShroom, as if he was not there. This is because Bugzy's car is beyond MobileShroom's mortal powers and exostance.


 * Bugzy once suplexed a beautiful mountain because he stubbed his toe on a rock. Hence, the OH NOEZ SCAR.


 * Bugzy can deliver mail without the Itinerod.


 * Triskelle didn't cause Whoot to surrender in his bunker by singing. Bugzy simply walked up and stamped on the ground above the bunker. Whoot surrendered immediantly.


 * Bugzy one flicked Explorer's hat. The proppellor spun so fast that Explorer travelled beyond the speed of light, and he disappeared in a time warp. The Explorer you actually see is a doppleganger.


 * Bugzy can perform work with 100% effiency, and PWNage with 110% effency.


 * Bugzy never gives 110% when trying. He gives 111%.


 * Bugzy once met Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris thought he was looking in a mirror.


 * Bugzy once met Captain Str00del. That is why he is a ghost.


 * Communist Poker Face did not defeat Bugzy in poker. However, Bugzy walked into the Bureau of Fiction and changed it so that she won, because he thought she deserved the spotlight for a few seconds.


 * Bugzy once fried some bacon outdoors and spilled some grease. The rock the grease hit became the Amulet of Fire.


 * Bugzy once sneezed on a rock. This rock is now known as the Amulet of Water.


 * One time, Bugzy ate too many burritos. Being a beetle of dignity, he went behind a cliff to flatulate. The rock that was exposed to this is now known as the Amulet of Air.


 * Bugzy doesn't believe in hitting women. Mabel owes her life to this.


 * Look up PWN in the dictionary. If Bugzy is not in it, then the dictionary writers better add it, lest they get suplexed.

 -- † This is Serious Business! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) Oooh, Yertle is performing his signature Bible Bashing Move! † 18:32, October 25, 2009 (UTC)  