War Against Humans

THE FOLLWING IS A DREAM SEQUENCE. IT IS FICTIONAL IN ANY WAY YOU CAN THINK OF. IT NEVER HAPPENED. DREAM SEQUENCE.

The following documents an insane dream which poor old Explorer had after chomping on a poisnous mushroom in Freaker Mode.

Epilougue
Explorer staggered into his home, held up by Fred, Happyface and Barkjon. It had been a wild party, that's for sure, but it's not so often that an old friend gains Beauracrat status in another world!

Explorer went into Freaker Mode mid-party and bit Professor Shroomsky. It turns out biting a poisonous mushroom is bad for you. Who would have thought it?

"Oh... I hate cliches...." Explorer moaned, in pain from biting Shroomsky.

"It's all right, Explorer. Just lay down."

"Penguins sleep *cough* standing up."

"I know that, but when you're sick, you need to lay down!"

Barkjon helped Fred lay Explorer down on a soft couch, while Happyface placed a blanket over him, and gave him some hot soup and crackers for his nausea.

"So," Happyface asked, "You really bit Professor Shroomsky?"

"I think so... I pecked him, that's what he told me..."

"What kind of mushroom was he again?"

"Oooohhh........ Entoloma hochstetteri..............."

"O_O" Fred stated. Barkjon showed a look of surprise.

"Those sorts of mushrooms mess with the mind." HF added.

"He's a BLUE mushroom. There ain't a way that it couldn't."

"What? *groans* Seriously..... what?"

Explorer passes out.

Chapter 0ne: Chris' Revenge
"Rise and shine, friend... wake up..."

Explorer woke up. He was in Eastshield Hope Hospital.

"Ooooohhhhhhhhhhh...... where am I?"

Explorer's vision came to, and he saw Happyface and Fred standing by his side. A pretty nurse stood over him.

"You're in Eastshield Hope Hospital. You bit a poisonous mushroom and began hallucinating soon after you passed out. After you started singing Aleph Null Hackers on the Wall for thirty minutes, everyone got worried and rushed you here."

Explorer, now awake and back to normal, sat up.

"Am I better?"

"Yes. We had to do some surgery to remove the poisons, and you'll be fine as long as you keep that IV pole attached and upright. If you don't, you'll pass out when it falls, and wake up when it's standing."

The nurse motioned to the pole and the little baggie that gave him medicine.

'So, I'm going to have to carry this with me everywhere..."

"For the next seven days. Your lucky you're a penguin; if you didn't sleep standing up, you'd be bedridden for a week!"

"I'm not breaking the COC?"

"What?"

Explorer stood up and removed his hospital gown. Keeping the bracelet on for authentication of that pole, he waddled out with his friend and his brother.

"You were quite sick, there!"

As they enetered the house later the day, Explorer recieved a fax from Christopher of NASA.

Explorer Antics:


 * It has come to our attention that you have broken the Outer Space Treaty and the Antarctic Preservation Treaty of 1913 by launching spacecraft from Antarctica after we specifically told you not to. Now, I know you like penguins, but you should be aware that you are damaging their pristine environment of primitive non-complexity by living there. Who knows what your actions might have done to such simple creatures?


 * We are heading to the Antarctic immediantly and have already shut down every satallite launched by PASA. You will be apprehended for violating international vows and shall face a ten year sentence or more, depending on what you have done to the poor, preciously inferior penguins who need our protection from pollution. You have twenty four hours to gather your things and leave the icy continent.


 * In your face Signed,
 * Christopher Scolese

Explorer gulped. They've been discovered!

Explorer's day was ruined. He went over to Happyface to make the day better. But more things came to haunt his day.

"Hello Happyface!"

"I'm not in the mood Explorer. Go away!"

"What happned?"

"Read THIS"

Uh-oh. Those italics mean something bad is coming.

Happyface T. Smile


 * You kidnapped my father you stinky rotton piece of ritz!. His name was John Nickols! And you took him to the Antartica!!! I hired millions of people to come and put you in zoos! TALKING PENGUINS IN ZOOS!!!! IMAGINE THAT!
 * You keep him in your lousy school, where little chicklings go inside of him!!! EWWWW. I'M GOING TO GET YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU LOUSY PIECE OF POWER-PUFF GIRLS!

From, John Nickols Junior: 4 year old.

"Wow. That four year old can write."

Happyface was playing with the IV Pole.

"You can play with it just don't knock it ov-"

Happyface knocked it over. Then he rollbacked it.

"I'm going to hurt you!"

Chapter Tw0: Da First Human
Happyface was waiting with a small squad of soldiers for a human to arrive.

"Sir! The scanners pick up a human sized object turning up on the beach!"

"Must I say the obvious thing! BRING IT TO ME, BOI!" Happyface angrily exclaimed

The human punched the officer and stood up. "The name is Bond. James Bond."

Happyface went up to him, with a flipper on his right side, making the human think he has a gun.

Bond looked at him. "Do I look like a fool? No, don't answer that, penguin. You FOOLISH penguins have no snese in fashion." He spat at Happyface.

That was a mistake. Happyface was mad. And no one likes him when he's mad. Ask the puny burgalar that tried to rob him. He turned green and prepared for an epic battle.

Then Tails6000 came in.

Bond looked at the yellow penguin. "What are you, some kind of bunny rabbit? Or are you yet another strange mutant."

Tails took out a hot sauce machine gun. "Oh, its on."

Tails began the epic fight, while Happyface happily munched on a burrito watching the fight.

Tails punched Bond. Bond kicks Tails. Happyface punched both. Oh yes, sweet gravy, it was epic.

Then Tails shot Bond with the hot sauce machine gun. Bond fled to the ships in the distance.

"THE WAR HAS JUST BEGAN! PREPARE YOUR FORCES!

Tails, Happyface, Barkjon, Explorer, Shroomsky, and Fred all sat down at a Round Table.

Happyface banged his boot on the table. "May the first Emergency Human Attack Prepareness Meeting come to a start."

Explorer started the meeting. "Ok, first off, sorry about pecking you Shroomsky. And we all know that a human named James Bond attacked Happyface and Tails. I have already set up defense along the coast. However, Tails and a few planes scouted the air and spotted planes coming in. They only trsnport humans and one says Da Great Stephen Hawking resides in this plane. FEAR HIM!

Barkjon spoke up. "Dorkugese tapped into a human website and saw their forces. I think we're doomed."

Shroomsky was disappointed with his co-webmaster in another dimension. "My friend who is better than sliced bread, never lose hope."

Mabel rammed the door open. "AHHH!!!! WHY IS HAPPYFACE IN HERE?"

Tails was prepared for her, and threw a pan at her.

"WHY??????"

The radio in the middle of the table crackled.

"''This is General Speeddasher. Ninjas are ready."

"''This is Coast Leader. We are go."

"''Pwnage Squad is ready!"

Fred spoke into the radio. "Ok, lets get a move on."

Eye of the Tiger music starts now

The group walked outside in slow-motion, with a wee bit of drama in the steps.

Eye of the Tiger music stops now

Everyone loaded their weapons.

"LET'S DO THIZZ.

Speeddasher was looking at the planes nearing the shore.

He spoke to the head ninja.

"Soldier, prepare the best ninjas we have. The plane says Ninjas. I think we fight them."

"Happyface? Do you read me?"

"I can hear you. What's going on?"

"Human ninjas."

"Explorer here, go beat the waffles outta them."

Speeddasher stood confidently on a hill of now, with his headband waving like a flag in the air.

Then the human ninjas came. They were lightning fast!

But Speeddasher was faster.

Two ninjas came flying at Speeddasher. One with a running side-kick, one with a spinning-split kick.

He blocked both and slapped them silly.

He watched his other ninjas fight the humans. He tuahgt them well.

Then a lone man stepped towards Speeddasher. He had a goatee, and was in casual clothing.

"My name is Chuck Norris. You injured two of my ninjas. Its on!"

He assumed a fighting stance, and human and penguin ninjas paused to watch the fight.

Speeddasher stood still, and placed something on the ground. It was a rock.

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!" they shouted at the same time.

Speeddasher threw a rock at Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris threw scissors.

The rock broke the scissors, and knock Chuck Norris unconcious.

The human ninjas looked at Chuck.

"ATTACCCCKKKK!!!" one of them shouted. Alomost all 50 of them ran towards Speeddasher.

Then all crowded and with one movement, he hit them all into the air.

Speeddasher walked towards the ocean, with unconcious bodies flying down to the ground.

The Battle of the Ninjas was over.

To be continued