User blog:TurtleShroom/Websites Get You Down? - Here's an Item to Brighten Your Day... Mateys!

(THIS ITEM IN QUESTION IS FIREFOX ONLY, UNFORTUNATELY...)

If you're like me, and you go on YouTube, this site, or the CPW, you have probably seen junk that, after seeing piles of it, probably saddens you.

For instance, when I go on YouTube, there's always a stupid political nutjob or conspiracy theorist spouting his flawed and idiotic logic. Instead of learning about the video, you're sifting through page after page of mindless debates where no side gains anything but sadness.

On the CPW, and to a lesser extent, on this site, the occasional sad item or annoying debate appears.

If too much of that gets you depressed, do Rockhopper and G have a solution for you!

In actuality, real world humans do, but play along.

I give you: THE ENGLISH-TO-PIRATE TRANSLATOR 3000!

This Firefox extension can be downloaded through a mysterious client addressed as "Greasemonkey". Every single peice of text is translated into the pirate dialect, instantly curing your sadness and providing a lot of laughs while reading a debate or YouTube spam list.

You'll never look at quitting and conspirists the same again.


 * To download this item, officialy entitled Browse Like a Pirate, you'll need the FireFox and an add-on called "Greasemonkey".

I would reccomend you NOT get FireFox until IE stops on you, like it did for me, since IE, to me, is a better browser.

Anyway, go to the top-left of the browser. Selcet tools on the File, Edit, etc. bar and click "Add-ons". In the window that appears, click "Get Add-ons" and type "Greasemonkey" in the search box, clicking on the addon given.

Restart your browser by closing andn reopening the FireFox browser, and you should see a small monkey's head in the status bar at the very bottom of the page. You have successfully inputted Greasemonkey.

Now, go to this link on the Greasemonkey's user scripts' unit and hit Install.


 * A confirmation box will request you to approve the "Browse Like a Pirate" extension. Accept the change and let it load. The next page you view, after a short delay, will be in Rockhopper-speak! ARRGH!

Here's what the pirate translator can do to make your day brighter.

For example, take this Internet whine from YouTube: "Why do net lingo at all? What's it going to hurt to type 2 more letters? Net lingo definitely takes people from taking you seriously. People would think 'he's being lazy about typing words, he sounds like a hick, he must not care to much about presenting his point. I don't I think the existence of net lingo is for lazy people. The type that America breeds. The ones that think that it's worth doing something about if it saves you one﻿ milli-second of work. I hate thinking that way."

Reading too much of that may depress you, like it does me. So, let's run that through the Pirate Translator, me hearties... "Why do net lingo at all? What's it goin' t' hurt t' type 2 more letters? Net lingo definitely takes people from takin' ye seriously. People would think 'he's bein' lazy 'bout typin' words, the bilge rat sounds like a hick, the bilge rat must not care t' much 'bout presentin' the powder monkey's point. I don't I think the existence o' net lingo be fer lazy people. The type﻿ that America breeds. The ones that think that 'tis worth doin' somethin' 'bout if it saves ye one milli-second o' work. I hate thinkin' that way."


 * Now, to me, this is hilarious. Let's do it one better, LET'S GET POLITICS.

Here's what Pirate Obama has to say about GM: "Blimey! Fightin' fer America's Autoworkers: 'I'm Skinny But I'm Tough'. Speakin' t' thousands o' GM employees 'n Ohio, the President delivers some good news t' a community that might have thought they'd never hear any again."

Now, doesn't that sound better than anything he normally says?

Here's a boring law about gold certificate transactions translated to Pirate: "Every claim o' the Board o' Governors o' the Federal Reserve System, a Federal reserve bank, an' a Federal reserve agent, 'n an' t' gold be transferred t' and vests 'n the United States Government t' be held 'n the Treasury. Payment fer the transferred gold be made by creditin' equivalent amounts 'n dollars 'n accounts established 'n the Treasury under the 15th paragraph o' sectin' 16 o' the Federal Reserve Act (12 U.S.C. 467)."

Okay, that one isn't too good, but you get the point.

Now, to DISABLE the pirate tool, right click the monkey in the staus bar and uncheck "Browse Like a Pirate". Head to a different page and refresh it a few times, and you'll be speaking like a landlubber once more.

 -- † कछुए मशरूम! Jesus Loves You and Died for You!! †    :)  :) DON'T YOU DARE QUIT BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST TYPED!!!!!!!! † 16:27, September 16, 2009 (UTC)  