I Love U Flu Virus

The I-LOVE-U-flu virus is a lethal virus that is well known for its cruel treatment to victims. See Symptoms.

Description
The I-LOVE-U virus can be transmitted by air, water, direct contact, broadband, dial-up, DSL, cable, and any other means of cyber-transportation. It can live in any environment, be it arid, rainforest, savannah, marshland, tropical, seaside, urban, ocean, or mountainous! The virus acts like a normal biological virus, but with a technological twist...

Infection
The infection takes places in many different phases, but all infections, if not treated correctly, end with the victim's death.

Phases of infection
Phase I. Entrance-- The virus enters the victim, usually via the respiratory system. '''Phase II. The Throat'''-- The virus, like a normal flu virus, takes over the cells that line the throat of the victim. This is followed by the onset of severe coughing, wheezing, and a severe fever. '''Phase III. Error 404'''-- At this phase, the virus shuts down the victim's Internet connection. If the victim tries to teleport, change his/her appearance (i.e. picking an outfit from the player card), or anything similar, he/she will be temporarily taken to an "Error 404" page. This is followed by the twitching and dial-up sounds. '''Phase IV. Overload'''-- The virus overloads the victim's individual programming with spam data. This causes the victim to "crash" (i.e. go into a coma). Phase V. Blue Screen Of Death-- The virus' final act is to hack into the victim's hard drive, changing his/her behavior to act like a computer that has been taken over by a Blue Screen Of Death. In this phase, the victim repeatedly screams the phrase "An error has occurred. Press Enter to Return to Windows, or press Control Alt Delete to restart your computer. You will lose any unsaved data." '''Phase VI. Exit'''-- If the disease is not treated properly, the infection procedes to the final phase: the death of the victim. The millions of virus copies that remain in the victim's body then infect random people on the victim's buddy list.

Cure
The infection is particularly hard to cure, because the farther the infection progresses, the more drugs are needed to prevent Phase Six (death) from happening. The cure diagram below was plotted by none other than Dr. Norton Von Symantec and his close colleague, Dr. Atik McAfee. Assuming the patient survives, the shot must then be followed by a McAfee shot, the installation of the add-on program, and the firewall booster pills.
 * Phase I-- Can be prevented by regularly updating the patient's firewall.
 * Phase II-- Can be treated by taking a regular dose of firewall booster pills.
 * Phase III-- Can be treated by overriding the virus' disconnect fuction with a special add-on program written by McAfee. The patient must also take the firewall booster pills.
 * Phase IV-- Can be treated by taking a McAfee vaccination, a.k.a. a McAfee shot. This little piece of injectable programming was also written by McAfee and helps to clear out the spam in the patient's programming. A McAfee shot must also be taken with the add-on program and firewall booster pills.
 * Phase V-- At this stage, the need for a vaccination is immediate, and a McAfee shot will not work fast enough. To solve the issue, Dr. Symantec wrote a small, yet powerful piece of code that would work the milisecond it got into the bloodstream. It is known as Symantechanine (Sih-man-teck-a-neen) and has saved millions of lives across the USA.