User blog:TurtleShroom/Impress My Revestor - Quick Musical Story

THE FOLLOWING IS A STORY.

TURTLESHROOM PRODUCTIONS  PROUDLY PRESENTS:   IMPRESS MY REVESTOR! 

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As anyone can tell you, the Swiss Ninja family had issues with economics. Okay, that is an understatement. The Swiss family couldn't manage a lemonade stand profitably. How could they run a car company?

In 2009, the Gaston Motors company fell to ruins. At the advice of the Executive Cabinet, and largely out of jealousy of Swiss Ninja, they gave him a serving of humble pie and bailed out his debt and bankrupt companies, in exchange for control of them.

This led to the rise of Tsar MobileShroom I, and, of course, a nationalized car company.

Swiss Ninja and family, though, needed more money to keep annexing new countries, at least until they could start harvesting their resources. A quick way out would be to get a third party to buy and privatize Gaston Motors, then help the family make profitable, weenie little hippie cars (as opposed to MS' 29 MPG so-darn-huge SUVs).

The problem? That would be convincing MobileShroom to authorize the sign-over. It's not like a czar will just abdicate his crown. Swiss Ninja had a plan, though.

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''It is early in the evening. Swiss Ninja enters MobileShroom's igloo. Outside, the sound of tools and machinary are loud. Tsar MobileShroom wakes up, wearing his automobile-themed pajamas, and picks up his crown off the nightstand, placing it on his head. He walks outside to see Swiss Ninja with MobileShroom's old-timey car on a tow truck.''

MobileShroom: WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHRYSTLER ARE YOU DOING?!

Swiss Ninja: I'm hauling off your old clunker and giving you...

''A luxury sportscar gracefully scoots onto the driveway. It is the kind of deluxe vehicle that makes adolescent creatures swoon.''

Swiss Ninja: This!

MobileShroom glares.

Swiss Ninja: .........if... if you act now, it will be yours! Just authorize the privitization of Gaston Motors and-

MobileShroom: NO!

Swiss Ninja: ...-but why?!

MobileShroom: I LIKE my old car!

Swiss Ninja: -but this car is every automobile enthusiast's dream!

MobileShroom: Well, it's not mine! Now, give me back my car! I can't revoke your license or your hippie car, but I know folks who can!

Swiss Ninja: Wait, wait, NO!

MobileShroom turns around.

MobileShroom: What now?

Swiss Ninja hits a button on a boombox that he removed from his inventory.

Melody

Just last year, my so gracious Czar,

My land monopolized car,

-but the Feds so despised me,

With stock they did buy me,

-just 'cause I didn't have the profits to run...

So I coughed up my signage to escape the debt,

-but they won't give back GM, making money I bet!

Now I need your approval to make this move legal,

So there's only one thing I can do!

I must impress my revestor,

To re-privatize!

I must impress my revestor,

Shrink government size!

Simple privatization he will take from your nation,

Gaston Motors goes where it shooouuuuulllldddd!

I must impress my revestor to clear up my stress,

'Cause I am not a bankrupt-y and an ego-filled junky!

Give my back my position before I get a conniption,

O'er the company's investments I maimed!

I must impress my revestor,

I must impress my revestor,

I must impress my revestor,

Before I break the bank!

Swiss Ninja: So, can my family have Gaston Motors back? We won't drive it into spiralling debt again, we promise!

MobileShroom: NO.

MobileShroom slams the door.

Swiss Ninja: Your SUVs pollute!

Swiss storms off.