User:Dan Beronews/WAH entry

As I looked once again at the newspaper clipping this is what I saw: == The Antarctic Gazette June 1st 2009 ==

== Local Citizen to Take Off! ==

A local citizen Dan is taking off for a worldwide tour. His balloon, christened the Emerald Shamrock is part Blimp part normal balloon. So Farewell Mister Owens! Have a good trip.

Ugh! Only half a column! I expected some fanfare, not to be famous, but at least a page. No pictures, no nothing. Excuse me. Let me introduce myself, I’m Dan. Woah! Building! Where did I put that pulley lever? Ahhh… here we go. That was a close one! Sorry about that! I forgot where the pulley lever was put… And welcome to the Emerald Shamrock II the only blimp/hot air balloon combination! She may not be the biggest or the best, but she’s mine. She uses revolutionary water ballast. I just dip my bucket overboard, fill it, and pull it back up. We go down a bit lower each fill! Here, I’ll tell you about my maiden voyage with the Emerald I. I kept my food in the inside of a small metal room in the balloon. I had enough food to last me 4 months. I knew I had to get across the ocean and stop fast! I would be going across the Atlantic. My balloon then was a blimp with a basket that could be raised up into a room in the balloon. I had all the stuff in my closet on that trip… not my best decision. Here! Why don’t you read my log? If some dates are missing or unreadable that happened in the accident. Take Off

June 1st, 2009 Lift off today almost hit a building. Not much else… Read the book “21 Balloons”. It sucked me in like dust to a vacuum. I finished it just now. I am happy to leave Pittsburgh… it was a bad school year. I’m going to bed.

June 3rd, 2009 I see the Atlantic! I’m a bit high for my liking. (Well I am so high I got a bloody nose.) I used the bucket system and it works! I saw a ship. I tooted my Air Horn and they whistled back! This is fun! June 10th June 15th WATER, WATER, AND MORE WATER! All it is is blue, salty boring-ness. (Is that a word?) I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS DUMB WATER! I saw a cruise liner. I wanted to get off and party with them. July 10th LAND! FINALLY! What I am seeing is Syria… it is very sandy. I somehow missed all the other land... strange. I still have a lot of supplies, so I will land in Kabul, Afghanistan.

Kabul, Afghanistan

August 8th I see Kabul, Afghanistan, its old crooked roads and extensive bazaars and I see the new modern metropolis. I’m landing now. I’m using the River Kabul as my water source. I see some of the many ruins of damaged buildings.

August 9th I got the supplies I needed and got out of there FAST. I saw an office building explode… Luckily no one was inside. I realized something today, I’m lucky to call the United States my home. August 10th I had to land again in Kabul. I forgot to load gas for my burner… I met a fellow American and am giving him a ride back. His name is Jim. I have to go, taking off.

Oh! Sorry! This part it missing… it is rather important. So I will tell you it. Jim and I got talking. In short he got mad at me for heading to China, threw the maps over board, and single handedly got us LOST! Even worse we got in a storm! I knew I had to throw stuff over. That is where my wardrobe comes in. Let’s just say this: bye bye wardrobe. We saw land and landed. I was just starting to miss my home, my nice safe home. Oh! Here we go you can read it now!

September 1, 2009 We landed in Papua New Guinea. The capital, Port Moresby to be exact. Man! You can’t read again! Here… let me tell you about Port Moresby. It was settled in 1880 and is named after Captain John Moresby. It is one of the WORLD’s least livable cities. I wonder how we got there… Jim… That is where I got the money for this beauty, the Emerald II. I did some smart investing in oil there. It turns out they’re known for it! Who would have thought? I finally started to miss my family… and Antartica. We soon took off again. Away from oil riches… We ran into another storm. As Gordon Lightfoot says in “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”, the wind in the wires made a tattletale sound. When the storm ended all Jim wanted was out. We fought and fought, just like cats and dogs. I ended up with a dented frying pan after he hit me with it. I stopped talking to him after that. I was really missing Pittsburgh now. I realized this isn’t what I wanted; I really just wanted to be at home safe with my parents. We soon crossed the Pacific with no troubles, except being lonely because we weren’t talking. We crossed the U.S. too with no big problems until we got to Kansas, then we hit a Tornado! We first saw it at a moment’s notice. Only enough time to raise us halfway up! We started Spinning, around, around, and around, it was a spinning top. I jammed the lever that controlled the pulleys as hard as possible we slowly started to go up, up into the safety of the balloon room. We were soon in the balloon room, safe and sound. We set course for Detroit, Michigan, the place where I was born. Soon, we saw the Detroit River. I killed the hot air and started to lower the bucket down. But we went down to fast! We picked up speed; I saw a ship below and knew we were going to crash! I grabbed the important stuff and told Jim to jump. He and I jumped and swam to the shore. I saw the crew of the ship jump off and swim to the Canadian side. Then, all we saw was a wall of fire. I then woke up in a hospital, my parents standing next to me, and the Canadian Mounties. It turns out I blew up a Canadian ship, figures. I ended up winning the lawsuit because the jury took pity on me or something like that. I was soon safe in my home, with my parents.