A Thanksgiving Carol

"A Thanksgiving Carol"

A TurtleShroom Production

It was a glorious morning in Dorkugal. Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and all of the Dorkugese were eagerly preparing the traditional feast of fish, biscuits, dressing, celery, shrimp, seaweed, sweet tea, and nachos.

Alas, not all were really into the whole "feasting for all" idea. One nerd in particular, Edwin Freezer Luge, really despised sharing. As a wealthy (and rather chubby) pioneer in Quantum Computing, he had a lot of currency. Eager to feast alone, Edwin headed straight to Floor Fifty Seven (the Giga-Market, think Wal-Mart, Circuit City, Best Buy, Kroger and Macy's combined) and bought the biggest, fattest Mullet in the building. Scanning the aisles for more goodies, he came across a huge holographic (conveniently stored in a miniature cube-shaped projector), which he promptly threw into his shopping cart. He purchased a triple-color LED lighted candelabra, seven stalks of the finest celery, ten gallons of sweet tea, and bags of other products. Finally, just to show off to the other shoppers, he bought an HDTV television, a Pad-desk, and a glowing tube of stable-plutonium.

Walking out of the store with a towering cart of products (he bought the cart as well), he strolled down the winding hallways, eventually reaching the rooms of Floor Sixty Six. Using the security eye-scanner to get in, he placed his goodies on the nearest end-table and called out. "Curta Jobs!" Immediately, Edwin's assistant came to call. Curta is a male Macaroni Penguin, about three feet in height. The frail, fourty-seven year old bird dresses in a shabby grey robe, wearing broken spectacles and his tarnished I.T. badge. He serves as Edwin's IT professional, and as such, his job is to manage Edwin's computer network, making sure it operates effieciantly, stays on-line, performs its functions, etc. The problem, however, is that Curta does this job alone, and the fact that Edwin's super-computer sprawls most of the room. To make matters worse, Curta is paid minimum wage, which isn't near enough to feed his family of four children and wife. To make due, he skips lunch and dinner, as well as serving the Graveyard Shift as a custodian for Floors Thirty Two through Fifty Seven. "May I (cough) help you, Boss?" the penguin questioned. As a response, Edwin gestured to the pile of products sitting on a nearby table. Giving the little penguin a hard shove, Curta lifted the heavy pile of items, only to have them collapse under his weight. The Macoroni penguin was buried in a huge pile of electronics and edibles. Edwin grabbed Curta out of the pile and smacked him. "You obsolete piece of Dial-up! Can't you do ANYTHING right?!" Curta, trying to hold back tears, nodded and caried the items one by one to their proper containers and locations.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Trivia

 * Why fish instead of turkey? Think long and hard. Give up? Penguins and turkeys are birds. One eating the other... that's just wrong!


 * We all know who Edwin is a parody of.


 * Lewis Jobs plays the role of Scrooge's slave-like secretary. His name is a combination of the "Curta", one of the world's first true calculators, and Steve Jobs, the founder of the Apple Company and inventor of the Macintosh.