Jose y Josea

Jose Presi and Josea Revolu, collectively called Jose y Josea on the air, are two extremely influential radio disk jockeys that broadcast on Antarctica's largest international radio station: Trinitrotoluene Radio, frequency 133.7 AM. They are considered the Aunt Arctics of radio.

One's a diehard supporter of the status quo and a big fan of all government, the other's a revolutionist that calls for uprisings through not-so-peaceful means. The two, being the most extreme of polar opposites, were obviously placed together for comedic arguments and ratings gold. They are ethnic Mavvs and lived through the Serb Uprising, all three Presidentes, and Tortugadesetas.

As a bonus for conspirists, Josea has shockingly powerful Fourth Wall Breaking abilities. The BOF and Jose obviously gang up on her in comedic mockery for her nutty ideas about celestial puppetmasters.

Background
The two penguins hatched in shanties in Maverick within days of each other.

Jose's parents were not the brighest bulbs in the drawer, and they blindly followed everything that went on. They were supportive of Iamred777, then of Tim Maverick, and again when Sir Kurt Maverick took office. When Tortugadesetas swept them out, Jose's parents appluaded that, too. They were natural toadies, and this rubbed off completely upon little Jose, who was also not very smart.

Josea, meanwhile, was the daughter of two armed anti-government warriors. When her parents weren't "fighting injustice" by trying to bomb factories after closing time (always failing, even when Sir Kurt erased all military presence, which is sad) or trying to knock over the palace (again failing), they were indoctrinating her with revolutionary and familiar leftist ideals that would make her right at home in East Pengolia.

The two played with each other and were, at the time, unable to obtain a true education (schooling came in during Presidente Tim's mandate and they became brainwashers in Tortuga's time), and their parents schooled them instead. Jose's parents pretty much failed at giving any edication other than how wonderful the regime was. Josea's parents gave her a lot of knowledge, but that knowledge was biased, revolutionary, and very Marxist. While Josea has roughly all that's needed for a high school diplmoma and a year of college, poor Jose probably has a ninth grade education.

Josea found her passion for radio long before Jose. She's been on the air for most of her life, having run a small-time pirate radio broadcast on behalf of the Resistance against Serbia, then every Presidente, and then Tortuga, before hitting her big break.

Josea obviously saw the radio as a soapbox to spread the "call of revolution" and "progression of society", while Jose saw it as a means of delivering "positive broadcasting and the most optomistic news". Each one sees themselves as right and the other as wrong, but in reality, neither of them give a full and non-biased story, and if they do, they spin it.

These days, their pleasently Hispanic-accented voices carry over the airwaves of the entire Antarctic continent (and islands), terminating roughly two hundred miles from South America and/or Africa and/or Austrailla.

Personality
One of the most entertaining parts of Trinitrotoluene Radio is the DJ's polarized personalities. One's a rebel and one's a yes-man. This makes for priceless dialogue.

Jose
Jose is a loud and happy penguin who sees the good in most everything. He is incapable of breaking the Fourth Wall and sees everything in the government as good. If something bad happens that he can't ignore, he's confident that it'll be fixed or that it'll go away. He adores Tortuga and all other leaders- even evil ones -and routinely sings praises of their accomplishments, peppering the news of the continent with positive music and propaganda. He's also mild-tempered and very slow to anger.

Josea
The fiery and passionate Josea holds the opposite idea of Jose. Everything in power is evil and must be overthrown. All workers are oppressed. No job benefit is good enough. Being royalty automatically means being evil. Famous penguins and fads are both treated with suspicion, and any coup is a good coup unless it's done by an obvious evil like Darktan. (Even Josea draws boundries on THAT.)

Josea's biggest trait, though, is her spectacular ability to break the Fourth Wall. She hears voices, she understands the Bureau of Fiction and its secrets, and even references interventions from counterinsurgency groups in lands that don't exist. She also holds high clearence in the Bureau, thanks to her powers, but she doesn't like to keep the BOF a secret, making references endlessly. Yet, raised a rebel- the armed kind -she has been one of the few BOF targets to escape the Moose In Black. She would like to see the BOF stormed and dissolved from the inside, "giving the People their destiny back".

Involvement
Every day for most of the day, Jose and Josea broadcast side-by-side on the radio. When news breaks, they are among the first to cover it. This may be because of Josea's Fourth Wall powers, but that is most definately NOT TRUE, because such powers aren't real.

Their bickering and humorous commentary keep the auidence tuned in to their station, and it is for this reason that Trinitrotoluene Radio has maintained such a spectacular audience.

Quotes
Each quote is on the same Issue. Jose's first quote is countered by Josea's first quote, and so on, until noted by seven hyphens.

Jose

 * East Pengolia seems to be in the dumps these days. With everyone paying for everyone's healthcare, no one's getting enough. Of course, I am confident that East Pengolia's government is working on that problem as we speak!


 * Breaking news: the Clubb Phengin Weekee has seen a drastic regime change today. The old order of strict rank hierarchies has gave way to a consensus system where everyone is equal and earns solely what they contribute!


 * Club Penguin has recently instated a new Recycling Center out behind the Mine Shack. Given the level of garbage on that island these days, it was certainly needed!


 * It seems that El Presidente, Tortugadesetas, has decided to open Maverick National Bank to the outside world, promising low taxes and secrecy in accounts. This will surely bring a boost to the economy!


 * Do you like to stay up late and party all night long? JOSE DOES! ...well... if your on Maverick, I don't think you can. With Snozerland going imperial, we may be right in their crosshairs. To keep the citizenry in check, Presidente Tortugadesetas has ordered Martial Law into effect, and the curfew along with it may hurt our night-life. Still, it's worth it not to get annexed by a guy whose ego is as big as Club Penguin!


 * Angered by his defeats, Kaiser Swiss Ninja seems to be redirecting his might towards islands he can more easily topple into his empire. A conversation between two generals in our army has revealed that Maverick may be in their sight. Don't they know what they're up against? We'll be ready with everything we've got: bank accounts, a few rocks, and of course, El Presidente himself!


 * Gaston Motors has experienced a shocking wake-up call from the Antarctican government. They fell to ruin as their owner overspent the budget on things like salaries and factory building, when he should have been making cars! The government stepped in and relieved Gaston of his duties, and they placed a fiscal monarch in his place. We don't really know if the Feds will relenquish their conservatorship any time soon.

---


 * It's a great day to celebrate democracy! When you get in your car this morning, be sure to thank your government for giving you all of these great freedoms!


 * Remember Mavvs, Presidente is right, even if he's wrong!


 * Josea, even I know that there's no talkig bird in the sky.

Josea

 * East Pengolia, I am ashamed! For what was once a guiding beacon to the proletariet revolution seems to have dissolved into a slow bureaucracy that can't even cure the least of its citizens! Prove me wrong and fix this mess, comrades!


 * It's a glorious day, my comrades. I have just recieved news that the tyranical yoke of the Webmaster system has been thrown off by brave revolutionaries seeking equality for all! Take every stone, marker, and eraser you can find and join the resistance! Together, we can form a better world! Show TurtleShroom no mercy!


 * Club Penguin never ceases to amaze me! The burgoise have created a recycling center behind the Mine Shack. Now, the segregated commoner can toss their trash into a compactor to make new knick-nacks for their oppressors! Wake up, Non-Members of Club Penguin, toss aside the bans of membership and once again make it your home a realm of equality!


 * That screenhog-headed Tortuga has once again showed his disregard for the Maverick populace. Instead of investing the Mavv budget into something worthwhile, like housing or clinics, he's chosen to open up that capitalist eyesore we call a Bank to the rest of the world. Now watch as the elite dump their cash into its coffers and line the pockets of our leader, who, as we all know, COUPED SIR KURT!


 * Once again, "Presidente" Tortugadesetas has curbed the freedoms of Maverick, like he did WHEN HE COUPED SIR KURT. No longer can you waddle out of your home past a certain time, or you'll get a face full of Snowball Gun! That's right, my companions, Maverick is now under Martial Law!


 * Snowzerland has turned its eyes from the mainland and is now seeking to quench its imperial thirst by sucking up smaller islands like the cowards they are. We may just be under their gun, but I ask you: what's worse? Rule by an egotistical king, or rule by a corrupt, power hungry Presidente? Grr, why must we always lose? No longer! I implore you to take Tortuga out so that we can defend ourselves for the right reasons!


 * The capitalist screenhogs down in Gaston Motors have recieved their justice from the tyrants that rule over them. The South Pole Council voted in a sweeping decision to nationalize the industry. Good; socialism has nationalization as key part of the revolution. However, instead of giving their new industry to the proletariet, surprise surprise: they're keeping it and putting a BLOOD RELATIVE of Presidente Tortuga in charge. The next time you crank up your car, remember that Tortuga gets money through family. The rich tend to remain in power for years, and many times it's the same family. The Joneses have us by our underpants, comrades. They wedgie us every day and pull the wool over our eyes as they continue to exploit power from you and me. Today, though, I feel things will be different. Creatures of all nations hearing my voice, will you not take action against those who crush you day in and day out? End the Joneses' stranglehold of the continent!

---


 * I am Josea, and I am the truth! Do you like to have free thought? Freedom to roam, to buy, to party? Well, turn the channel then, because that is not the truth. Right now, your very being isbeing regulated by a powerful cabal of mystical puppeteers that you will never see. Stay tuned for me to tell you more... -and Jose, QUIT LAUGHING!


 * Don't you understand? TORTUGADESETAS COUPED SIR KURT. Wake up, he's not a legit ruler!


 * Midas and Herb have once again built a collosal structure, yet, you are all to blind to understand that the builders are CHICKS. That's right, CHICKS. I know this because I have connections to the elite, connections that must be overthrown!


 * I am Josea, and I am the truth!


 * I call you all to arms: storm the Bureau of Fiction and regain your consciousness! No longer shall we be dictated by fuzzy yellow beasts and accented birdbrains! South Pole City residents, your nearest Entrance into the burgoise's territory is... (lists entrances until Jose laughs at her)


 * They're coming for me, my companions. Who's coming? I can't say; they vanish in seconds and make faint sounds. I must leave early tonight, as they are once again seeking to silence the resistance by taking me out. ...-but I have sensed their coming. I bid you good night. Wish me luck as I once again go on the lam to escape the burgoise's secret police in moose masks.


 * (with MIB sounds in the background) Do you hear that, comrades? It's the sound... of the MOOSE! THE MOOSE! Once again, the burgoise are seeking to silence the truth from your ears! I don't have time to say much more... -but I tell you all, the Moose will fail their masters, the Moose will always fail! You can't silence truth, for it will just- oh, I've got to go! *silence, Jose laughs*


 * (In Q&A segment) Excellent question, my friend. The Moose prefer to use sinister black vans to carry out their tasks. Highly reputable creatures, such as Penguin Micro, can tell you- wait, did you just hang up? *pause* ...sigh... won't you ever wake up to the evils around you? It's truth, not a conspiracy theory!

Trivia

 * Listen closely: on certain days, particularly days with huge storms, you can here the faint sound of helicopters, gunshots, or vans driving away after Josea gives her side of the story.


 * A large rebel base is said to be near or under the Trinitrotoluene Radio broadcasting station. Josea is one of the leaders of the Resistance.


 * Director Benny The Bureau of Fiction wants Josea apprehended and brutally punished.


 * These characters are parodies of the radio DJs from the computer game, Tropico III. Jose is from the base game and Josea is off of the expansion pack.


 * Josea has a Beta Hat and hates Members.


 * Josea thinks that Sye and Canren are right.


 * If one is related to any member of TurtleShroom's family, they are automatically evil.