Professor Shroomsky's Wild Escapade

In this tale, Professor Shroomsky tells, in the first person, how he meets Mabel, and what they do, and other extremely puffle-tastic escapades. It asl features Explorer.

As an avid traveller, I've seen puffles for years. They make squeaking sounds and have a ruffled up hairdo... or fur pattern. Yes, I held this thought for years. I even knew that some puffles were capable of speech. I always liked puffles. They were so soft to the touch, rather warm, quite intelligent. I taught one to do my taxes. I'm forever grateful to that furball. The species as a whole have benefited me. They sure no how to season rotten bananas... oohhhh.

It's as if puffles were designed to be domesticated.

Or, so I thought.

I happened to be in South Pole City the other day, where I would see penguins and their puffles mingling in harmony.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Mabel! The glasses, the clean, well groomed fur... she looked rather like an old, stereotypical secretary. All business. That fur looked more like hair, in all honesty. That was what I could behold at first impression.

I scooted up to the puffle in question, who happened to be staring at something on the wall.

"Hello!" I greeted, in warm Christmas cheer, as was the custom I so enjoyed in December.

The puffle did not move. Reaching down to nuzzle it (I don't have hands), the puffle quickly turned and beared her teeth. What a shock!

"I don't know what you are, but I hate you already."

I blinked and rubbed my glasses on my coat. Putting them back on, I just stared.

"What are you looking at, freak?"

Silence.

"Well? What are you?"

Shaking out of thought, I replied.

"I am a mushroom. Might I add that you're a good looking puffle."

The furball smiled, albeit faintly.

"I know. I get that a lot."

I blinked again. Such arrogance! Was there a thread of modesty here?

Explorer, who happened to overhear, turned to face us from across the street.

"Professor! Back away! That's Mabel you're talking to! She's evil!"

I scoffed at the statement.

"Your Highness, I know you've travelled Antarctica, but should you judge a puffle just because she's a little... um, arrogant?"

Mabel turned to me. In an almost trembly manner, she spoke.

"You j-j-just c-called h-h-him... y-your highness?"

"Well, yes ma'am. Since he owns a high ranking nobility status, he should be addressed as his title demands. I'm addressed as "Professor", after all. I earned that title, and I am respected for that."

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! HE'S AN UNWORTHY FREAK! A FREAK!"

"Mabel! I am surprised that you would speak to him like that!"

Mabel's stare went blank.

"No. You don't understand. He's my owner. I am forced to live in his home."

"So?"

"So?! SO?! HE'S A FREAK! Do you remember that time, where you went to that igloo, and that ghost appeared in the kitchen?"

I shivered. I never figured out who did that................. or what did that.

"Indeed I do. It was my first paranormal experience, and hopefully, my last. You know, I still wake up screaming in the night when I have nightmares involving that ghost. The worst thing, though, was that I have to leave the light on in the hall. If you know anything about fungi, such as myself, I can only get a great sleep and retain my health when I rest in a damp, shaded environment. I've fallen asleep in a seminar from my lack of sleep."

"Well, allow me to tell you exactly what happened and why."

Explorer screamed from across the street.

"PROFESSOR! DON'T LISTEN TO MABEL! SHE'S BRAINWASHING YOU, SWAYING YOU TOWARD HER EVIL WAYS!! DON'T BECOME A MABEL MINION!!"

I looked at Explorer.

"What in the name of compost are you talking about?! Oh, I see. The December heat must be getting to you."

Mabel called my attention back.

"He's insane! I TOLD YOU! Listen to me, and I will tell you about the ghost."

Hmm... should I listen to a puffle, or a semi-insane penguin monarch who kows what he is talking about, lest he holds a shovel?

I thought. Puffle, insane penguin? Insane penguin, puffle? Um....................

"Professor! LISTEN TO ME! I'M NOT CRAZY! SHE IS EVIL! YOU HAVE MY WORD! I PROMISE, ON ALL THAT IS SUGARY AND SWEET, THAT PUFFLE IS EVIL!!!"

Hmm... he gave his word... then... my mind flashbacked to the day I tried Card-Jitsu.

(**CUE FLASHBACK**) He screamed "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! WE WEE HA!!! I gOTzz spAdeZZZZxzz!!!1!!!!1!!! WEE LOL LOLzz!!!"

The last thing I remember is a shovel upside the fruiting body.

I awoke an hour later. Sensei stood over me.

"Are you okay, gentle stir-fry? That was Explorer 767. Banned from Card-Jitsu, he was. I'm sorry you had to deal with a whack like that. It's not a card, let me assure you." (**Flashback ends**)

"Sweet skillets, that was painful." I said to myself. No, I shall not associate myself with anyone who whacks me with a shovel.

"Sorry Explorer!" I yelled across the road, "You whacked me with a shovel!"

"But-but b-b-but Professor!" Explorer hollered. "I-" Explorer stopped. He lacked an excuse for his shovel slam.

"He hit you with a shovel? He hits everyone with shovels. He's a freak."

"Hmm... Ma'am, you do have a point. Let's walk- I, mean... scoot. I see you move as I."

Mabel smiled.

"Good... now come on. Let's talk about that ghost."

TO BE CONTINUED!!