Great Darktonian Pie War

The Great Darktonian Pie War, officially designated "The Final Showdown" by the High Penguins, is a last ditch attempt, with every good creature in Antarctica plus the Str00del Force, the Jerks, The Leader and Dark Penguins facing off against Darktan and his minions. Also, FW has joined the fight.

It was a long war, because King Triskelle, their Navy, and every High Penguin except Luce fled to their homeland of Arda.

Luce claims that this is the fabled "Dagor Dagorath" (the Battle of Battles).

However there were no serious injuries during the conflict.

A game was released in Freezeland about it.

Prologue
PBJT Valley didn't always bear this name. In fact, it never had one to begin with.

That all changed in "The Battle of Battles".

PBJT Valley is a foggy, freezing cold, Valley Forge-esque land full of hills and trees. Lots of trees.

A Rundown in High Penguin Battle Customs
HPs have extreme rituals and proceedures for traditional battles (not like ones in the past).

They start with a coin toss, and the winner chooses two weapons that everyone would get. This is administrated by a football-style referee.

If a person is toppled by any weapon, and can not get up in ten seconds they are teleported to a stone structure and suspended in Ditto A until the war ends. This is administerd by an old-fashioned boxing referee.

Everytime someone is knocked out, a loud cathedral bell is rung. Usually, that thing rings every second. The spirits have had to replace it several times per battle.

All "officials" (referees, ect.) are High Penguin spirits.

Chapter One: Let's Get It On
It was a gray, overcast day. Darktan and his minions were marching from their realm, about to seize and expand their empire. Continental conquest was their goal. They knew the Antarctic citizens lacked any hope.

However, the creatures of Antarctica refused to quit, whether the High Penguins did or not.

Even the Dorkugese had left their homeland to stop the menace.

Everyone who was anyone came to see this done.

Darktan even agreed to start the "games" in ancient High Penguin custom. So it was done.

Professor Shroomsky, wearing the Silmaril Crown that he sued off Triskelle, and Darktan, the Ultimate Evil, faced each other at a stone cylinder.



Shroomsky, as we know, is a stickler for formality. He did the prescribed rituals to the letter.

They faced each other.

"See that crown, fungus? It's mine. ALL MINE."

Shroomsky glared at the fearsome menace, but refused to back down.

Meanwhile, in Ard Mhaca, the High Penguin officials were in the town centre, around The Two Trees. They had never really left. Freezeland's navy had fought in the war, but the High Penguins did not.

King Triskelle stood, watching the confused High Penguins. A high wind was picking up, and King Triskelle was eager to get more troops before the snowstorm struck.

He turned to Elessar, Will Whitefoot, Bodo Bunce, and other important military or parliament officials.

"Muster me every able-bodied male and strong lad. You have two days. On the third, we ride for the valley, and for battle."

They each bowed and slipped their armor on.

Triskelle watched them as they rushed, and strayed into deep thought.

He came to himself a few moments later and slipped his armor on, and sheathed his sword. Triskelle, before leaving after Shroomsky seized the jewels, had took all the amulets, except Light and Shadow. So, despite them being currently dormant, Triskelle took them.

A High Penguin ghost, dressed in vertical black-and-white stripes, floated down to where Shroomsky and Darktan stood.

The opposing armies stood on the banks of the Valley. They were both told not to attack until the ceremony was done.

"Penghis Khan is ready to kick tail feather. When can he unleash his Imperial PWNage?"

Luce glared.

"Hush, wee lad. This is tradition."

Luce held a Scroll reading "Rules and Regularities of a traditional duel".

"Oh. Penghis Khan scoffs at your formality."

Luce cleared her throat.

Down at the table, the two characters just stared.

The ghost came out with a solid gold coin that glimmered even at night, almost as if infused with the Amulet of Light itself. On one side, a big smiling picture of Professor Shroomsky. On the other side, Darktan.

"It will now begin. This is not to be a petty snowball fight. He whose face falls flat on the dubloon has the advantage in choosing their arsenal."

They commenced a coin toss right there. The currency landed on Shroomsky!

"Luck is with you today, Fungus. Your two weapons of choice?"

Shroomsky looked at the sapphire box the High Penguin provided him. There were maces of all shapes and sizes, a golf club, a frying pan, some pie, dirt, fax machines, and a piece of paper with an interrobang on it (‽).

"I'll take the pie."

The villains cheered.

"...and the interrobang."

Silence.

Thus, the High Penguin ghost took out the pie and cloned it. Everyone received lots of pie. Several people had to tell others, "DON'T EAT THE AMMO!".

The ghost pulled up the Interrobang.

"No creature is to be killed. None at all."

Both teams cheered.

"The board is set. Now the pieces must move."

The ghost turned to Shroomsky. He eyed the Crown.

"What be ye, wearing an important artifact? Where is the Triskelle, Son of Arvedui?"

"I sued for the Crown... and Triskelle surrendered and ran to his homeland..."

"Grace and luck be on your side, Fungus."

He clapped his flippers together.

"May the leaders arise, and meet at the banks."

They did. The ghost started the countdown in Ancient Penguinian.

"Tre! To! En! Deilige søte bliss som gjør deg feit!!"

A buzzer sounded. The Battle of All Battles had started.

Penguins picked up their pies. Villains picked up their pies and ate Doom Weeds for extra strength (cheaters).

With a great, thundering roar, everyone picked up their pies and "natural talents"!

This way and that! Pies flew everywhere!

Shroomsky got smacked with boysenberry! Turtleheimer was spun around by apple!

Then, Darktan threw a pie at Penghis Khan.

WHACK!

It was key lime. Penghis Khan hated key lime. Darktan shouldn't have done it.

Khan yelled over the crowd, as pies flew everywhere. He took his Imperial Mullet and dragged it passed the front lines and deep into enemy territory. No one saw him. They were flinging magic, throwing pies, or (in the case of Explorer) flinging daggers. Khan took his Mullet. He walked straight to a big villain.

It was Herbert Horror. He was standing, firing scalding beams of fire at any poor person within yards. Penghis Khan took aim and swung his fish.

WHACK!!

Herbert Horror fell like a snowman in a summer greenhouse. A ghost appeared in a white shirt, black suspenders and red bowtie. He started slapping the ground, screaming in Ancient Penguinian.

"Ti, ni, åtte, sju, seks, fem, fire, tre, to, en! Banke ut!"

A mighty cathedral bell sounded. Herbert Horror vanished in a cloud of smoke, reappearing in a stone masonry structure, with the words "Taperne" engraved upon it. He was then frozen solid in Ditto, so he wouldn't attack other losers in the seats.

Darktan raised a mighty flipper. He was just toying before. Since his right-hand-man just fell to Khan ("banke ut" is "knockout" in Penguinian), he immediately knew this fight was not going to be easy. He conjured up a massive pie and hurled it at Penghis Khan. It was bigger than five of him!

"Ti, ni, åtte, sju, seks, fem, fire, tre, to, en! Banke ut!"

The bell sounded again. Penghis Khan was squashed like a bug.

Luce turned to the audience.

"Wonderful, eh? Our most valliaiant cannon fodder warrior has fell."

WHACK!

Four Khanz Penguins, down, felled by one blast from WitchyPenguin! Four countdowns and four bells.

Luce picked up a pie and screamed some chant. She flung it and it hit a random minion, who subsequently hit seventeen others. Eighteen countdowns, Eighteen bells.

And then, another countdown and another bell.

So far, the Good Guys were winning.

That was going to change.

Chapter Two: NO, NOT MANNY!
Darktan turned to the "Losers" area, and saw the villains.

"SEND IN ROBO-GARY!"

Robo-Gary turned on and walked onto the Valley.

His flippers were like machine guns, rapidly firing pies at everyone.

That took down most of the Dorkugese, all of the Emoticons, even Explorer, and Fred!

Happyface, however, came prepared.

He held "The Really Shiny Hand Grenade With A RollBack Function That Looks Like A Globius Cruciger But Isn't"!

He tossed the glittering heirloom straight at Darktan, but he quickly put up a force field and dodged it. It flew up and landed on Robo-Gary. A Hallelujah chorus, static, and a countdown later, and Robo-Gary exploded. The blast took out a twenty-fifth of Darktan's army. Bells rang like mad. Unfortunately, the Antic Grenade also took out Barkjon and himself.

" " Explorer text messaged to the narrator from inside his tank. " "

That it did. Explorer and Fred reappeared on the battlefield.

At the same moment, the tanks holding Happyface and Barkjon shattered, and the two came out full armed and ready to fight. The released Ditto Vapor stunned about 16 other baddies (mostly STINC soldiers).

"EAT OUR DITTO SPRAY YOU STUPID STINC GOONS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yet, they were STILL out numbered! Bad guys abound!

Pies kept on flying. Creatures fell. Bells rang, and it wore on.

Judge Xavier waddled up on the front lines and threw his prized Gavel. It clobbered Witchy Penguin, but she got up before the ten seconds were up. However, her broomstick wasn't as lucky. Witchy Penguin was now vulnerable.



Darktan became angrier. He used telekinesis and picked up Manny Peng. He lifted the Mwa Mwa Penguin high above him. It was screaming like a maniac.

"I ONWY THWEE! I ONWY THWEE!"

The faster he spun Manny, the more it screamed. Then, he hurled it. Manny spun like a football, clobbering hundreds and hundreds of penguins, as the spinning freak was also guided by Darktan's mighty abilities.

Shroomsky just lost half the army thanks to Manny Peng.

He had to pull back his army before they were toast. The pies kept flying as well.

Shroomsky turned to Luce.

"What are we going to do now? Is there any sort of answer?"

"A bundle of twigs is stronger than only one."

Shroomsky had no idea what this meant, but Luce seemed to be hiding something.

Chapter Three: Marx Marx Marx
Darktan, meanwhile, turned to his minions.

"Okay. We're winning. Conquest should be easy. Yet, before I do, let me tell you something. I went on a new world called "YouTube to obtain minions. I also wrote about me recruiting "Marx" there. I did get two characters, though I don't really know what to do with them. Each one was named Marx."

Darktan whistled, and the aforementioned "Marx" characters appeared.

"This," Darktan commented, "is Groucho Marx. He's a comedian. He won't fight, but he is world renowned in comedy, along with his relatives. I guess he will cheer you up."

Groucho Marx waved to Darktan and smiled.

"...and this is Marx Marx. He's from some place called "Kirby World", and shoots ice."

Marx Marx nodded and shot ice.

"...and this is Carl Marx, credited as the founder of Socialism. I presume he will... um, just say something fancy!"

Carl Marx nodded and quoted himself: "Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communistic revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Working men of the world, unite!"

WitchyPenguin turned to Darktan.

"What did he just say?!"

"I don't know."

"But every class struggle is a political struggle." Marx continued.

"I don't get it. Aren't you the 'ruling class'?"

"You're right. You think I should put him back?"

"Then begins an epoch of social revolution." Marx continued.

"Okay, Carl. That's enough fancy talk."

"I WILL NOT BE SILENCED UNDER YOUR CAPITALIST CHAINS!"

"What?" a random villain asked.

"I think he hates money."

"Is that to say we are against Free Trade?" Carl Marx continued.

"He's annoying." Witchy Penguin continued as well.

Marx Marx suddenly got clobbered with a pie. A countdown, a bell, and the Kirby villains was sent back to his universe.

While Darktan and Carl Marx argued with each other, Professor Shroomsky and the army talked to one another.

Professor Shroomsky felt very guilty.

"I think I made a big mistake suing Triskelle. Luce, I'm sorry if I just killed Antarctica's chances of winning."

"I have high penguin intuition. I foresee great cheer in the near future."

Professor Shroomsky frowned.

"Are you positive I didn't ruin it?"

"No, Honorable Fungus. Twas only a mere overreaction. Seizing the opportunity to to fight Darktan was very valliant."

"I still feel guilty."

"As a former narrator, with my intuition, I can assure you that victory is nigh."

Shroomsky smiled.

Chapter Four: Hi, Billy Mays Here!
The two armies retired to their camps at sunset. Most of the night was spent treating injuries and making battle plans. None of them expected what would happen in the morning.

At dawn, Professor Shroomsky's army awoke to an unusually warm atmosphere (it was about 20 degrees Fahrenheit). In contrast, Darktan's lines saw an immense amount of fog and temperatures of -80 degrees Fahrenheit.

The battle resumed at 9:30 AM. Everything went pretty much the same as what had happened yesterday, with the exception of the fog around Darktan's army, which was reducing their visibility to a 1.25 foot radius.

At about 10:15, a loud crash of thunder was heard coming from Darktan's lines. Explorer, who had the privilege of flight, soared up above the battlefield to see what was going on.

A large line of dark, gray clouds was approaching the field. As Explorer watched, a bolt of lightning zapped through three clouds and struck one of the taller STINC soldiers. Then it began to snow.

Without warning, a gale-force wind stirred up, blowing the snow everywhere and further reducing visibility. The reading on one of Explorer's pocket thermometers fell rapidly, as did the reading on his handheld barometer. Just then, a small icy hailstone bonked Explorer's hat, Tittle, on the rotor. Explorer didn't even see it coming because the curtain of snow was so thick. Through the blinding waves of white that surrounded him, Explorer was able to barely make out the outline of a city skyline on top of one of the clouds. Explorer then realized what was happening.

"Aw, come on!" he yelled above the roar of the wind. "I should have known this was going to happen; I read the script two weeks ago! It's Mayor McFlapp's doing, isn't it?" he asked the narrator. There was no reply.

"Ah well, I'll just have to find out for myself!"

With that, Explorer, despite the blizzard and showering hail, shot off towards the looming cumulonimbus cloud with the strange flickering lights.



Darktan shot a beam of auras straight into the oncoming clouds. It penetrated straight through the storm, cutting clean through a third of the squall line.

Visibility was slightly restored; the army of Evil advanced.

Suddenly, an air horn pierced through the valley.

A lone Bean Human walked up the banks, facing the battle.

"Hi, Billy Mays here, demonstrating the power of Oxypie."

The creature held up a purple colored pie.

"It has the stickiness to cure even the toughest in evil stains."

He tossed the pie. It clobbered an STINC minion, who was out for the count.

Billy Mays continued.

He took a pie from a Dorkugese penguin nearby.

"See how Oxypie topples an STINC infantrymen in comparison to the leading brand of weaponry!"

He threw the pies at two STINC minions. The Oxypie flew faster and hit harder.

"The secret is the special fluids baked into the pastry! Watch how they connect and stick to the enemy's feathers like glue!"

Mays hurled the pie at Manny Peng. The Mwa Mwa Penguin fell and the momentum sent him back ten feet, knocking two STINC soldiers with it. Three bells and countdowns.

"Now that's the power of Oxypie!"

Up in Ternville, Explorer and Mayor McFlapp were in the Narrator's Office laughing over hillarity of their newfound spoof of Billy Mays and OxyClean.

"ROTFL...... seriously, Mayor, did you really come up with that all by yourself?" Explorer asked as he chortled uncontrollably. "I mean, Oxypie???? BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!"

As Explorer burst out laughing all over the carpet, Mayor McFlapp continued typing at his Narration Organ.

"This Oxypie the human speaks of seems to be more powerful than I thought," said Darktan to his minions. "We must stop this at once."

Metal Explorer snickered as a evil grin came over his face.

"I can take care of that, oh wise and great Darktan."

The robot took off using his mini jet pack feet and flew into the battle. In his flipper he held a rather large pie. The penguins below saw it, and some even screamed.

"This should take care of these pesky penguins."

The robot let the pie go sending it to the ground. It hit 20 penguins, covering them in a strange substance. It was light green with a little dark purple in it. No one knew what it was. When the penguins tried to get up, though, the sticky liquid held them to the ground. It felt like oil and was almost as sticky as Oxypie.

"MOMMY!" yelled a Khanz Penguin.

"Save us!" cried a Dorkugese Penguin.

Everyone who wasn't busy fighting was worried. Billy Mays, however, just smiled. He then pulled out yet another strange contraption. Professor Shroomsky and Luce looked curious.

"What is that crazy advertiser doing now?" they asked the others.

Billy Mays then walked up to where the large pie had landed.



"Stuck to the ground by a sticky pie? Then you need the special cleaning power of Kaboom!"

He held what appeared to be a container of cleaning supplies. He then sprayed some on the pie that had landed on the penguins and it surprisingly dissolved away.

"See how Kaboom cleans up Pie stains compared to the leading brands! When you're on the battlefield, you want the strength of this cleaner! Billy Mays Guaranteed."

The warriors then cheered and clapped. Metal Explorer, however, was furious.

"Impossible! How dare you question the Power of Lord Darktan's pies! You will be sorry!"

Just then, Blizzard threw a pie up at the crazy robot. This flung him back to Darktan's castle as fast as a snail tied to a rocket.

"Mayday! Mayday! Fire the pies!"

The battle continued as more pies were flung, and more penguins were being freed by Billy May's new weapon, Kaboom.

The Beastector then sent in larger, stickier pies.

Billy Mays continued, holding the Kaboom.

"The secret is the iodizing bonds! Kaboom has a special chemical formula that can remove any stain, from grape juice to pie, guaranteed!"

He sprayed free the others.

Darktan, now enraged, conjured up a pie the size of sixteen Herbert Horrors. He flung it, and it smashed over three-quarters of the army of Justice!

A High Penguin spirit was counting down from ten.

Billy Mays laughed and called in a tractor trailer that was hauling a full load of Kaboom.

"IT HAS THE STRENGTH TO WIPE AWAY THIS FULLY LOADED, MULTI-SURFACE PIE THE SIZE OF A HOUSE IN MERE SECONDS!"

The tractor trailer dumped its load of Kaboom. It washed over PBJT Valley, and wiped everyone free! Darktan's new pie was useless! He immediately reverted to the old pie that knocked people over.

Oxypies and cream pies continued to fly everywhere. Explorer continued to laugh at the advertising puns while Mayor McFlapp continued to type.

Chapter Five: ROOOOOOAAAR! Magma Puffle attack penguins!
Darktan growled more and more. His army appeared to be loosing thanks to Billy Mays and his new weapons. An Abyss Knight approached him.

"Oh wise and noble Darktan, our armies are getting what I like to call creamed. We need to bring out more troops."

Darktan turned and walked over to the knight.

"It appears it is time to bring out one of our last lines of defense. Release the Magma Puffle."

A Doom Knight saluted Darktan and pulled a large metal lever.



The side of justice was winning. With Billy Mays' products, and the power of Mayor McFlapp's trump card, nothing could stop them now. But happiness would soon change to fear. Just then, a cage opened, releasing a huge twenty-meter-high beast that appeared to be completely made of Magma. He roared like a pack of hungry Leopard Seals, and then spoke in a extremely deep voice.

"ROOOOOOAAAR! Magma Puffle attack penguins and defend Lord Darktan's castle!"

Penguins everywhere screamed and ran in different directions. Professor Shroomsky was frozen with fright. He stood still and looked like a Puffle about to be caught by a Skua.

"Wha, wha, wha..... what is th-that thing?!?!?!"

Luce gently patted him on the back.

"The strange human creature has the situation under control. For the time at hand, at least."

Poor Luce was wrong, for Billy Mays was running around like the other warriors were. Apparently he had no type of weaponry to stop this enormous creature.

"If only you were right, Luce. I don't think even one of his cleaning products can save us now though. We'll just have to hope the Fourth Goozack will save us... if not, then I have an idea."

Luce looked at him sharply. "What in the name of Ard Mhaca is that?"

Professor Shroomsky took one glance at the Magma Puffle and shrieked, "RUN!!!!!!!"

"It appears that the Magma Puffle is working most effectively," said Darktan as he smirked. "Even that ridiculous advertiser doesn't have anything to fight it with."

Then a pie covered Metal Explorer approached Darktan.

"Ah, being such an evil penguin is hard work, isn't it, my robotic minion?" said Darktan as he patted the robot on the head.

Rolling his eyes, Metal Explorer huffed.

"You've got it easy."

Chapter Six: Reinforcements Prepare
Up in his office, Mayor McFlapp was getting ready his sophisticated retaliation.

"Tell the scientists that I can't wait for long," he barked into the speaker-phone beside his Organ. "Oh, and meet with Admiral Gee, eh? Tell him riverdog, advance on treewalloper or rivermouse! He knows what t' do, wot! Thanks, Becky! You're the best secretary a Mayor ever had, wot! Bye-bye now!"

Explorer could not help but overhear. ''Riverdog? Treewalloper?'' he thought as Mayor McFlapp returned the phone to its holder. Perhaps it was all some sort of code...

As Explorer watched, the Mayor picked up a small walkie-talkie and spoke into it.

"Rally the citizens," he said. "Now."

"Arr, arrr ye Ninjas. We must be a headin' t' this pie war. They’ll need all th' help they can get thar,"proclaimed Ninjahopper. "Any questions ye be needin' t' ask?"

A overly excited student raised his flipper in the air and hopped up and down.

"Yes ye grasshopper?"

"ZOMG-YOU'RE-ROCKHOPPER-AND-YOUR-A-NINJA!!!! He yelled excitedly.

Ninjahopper rolled his eyes at the students who were now jumping all over the place asking him to sign autographs in haiku.

"Argh, why t' I e'en bother?"

The Ninja Master-to be then exited the Dojo with the few sensible Ninja students and headed to PBJT Valley. Little did they know though that Metal Explorer was hovering over them silently.

"Arr, we be on our way t' PBJT Valley, Arr," Ninjahopper sung.

Metal Explorer just grinned in a way similar to how Mabel looks on the Musical about her.

"Sing now penguin," whispered the robot. "But you won't be smiling when you see the Magma Puffle. If of course it's still there when you arrive."

Far away from the valley and Ninjahopper, a blinding snowstorm raged through Ard Mhaca. On the rooftop of one building, the blurred silhouette of King Triskelle could be seen holding a crackling walkie-talkie.

"*fixzz*--*pop*--Rall--*ping*-y the b--*ffzz*-ally citizens, w--*xxzvff*--ot! I'm about t'--*fxzzivping*--jolly well sh--*fvvxzz*--ow Perw--*xvczff*--inkle the flipp--*cwhshvzfxxzz*--in' ammo! Come on, n--*shwshfzsxvc*--ow, go, go, go!!!--*ca-weep--fhzzxvczz*" crackled the walkie-talkie.

King Triskelle paused for a moment, trying to understand the static message, then tucked the walkie-talkie into his inventory. He took something out from his player card, pressed a button, then teleported in a bright lime green flash that was eventually lost amongst the thick curtains of snow.

Subchapter Six-One: Heads or Tails?


Back on the battlefield, a bright red colored aero plane zoomed overhead. Hot Sauce charges were dropped out of the sides, and a black-hooded penguin piloted. "....Tails6000." Turtleheimer remarked.

Tails grabbed a parachute, loaded his trademark hot sauce machine gun, and jumped out the side of the aero plane.

"DO'H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled, pulling the trigger on the hot sauce machine gun.

"AAHH! HE'S TRIGGER HAPPY!" A STINC minion shrieked.

One by one, STINC goons fell out.

The referee counted his hit count."..En..To..Tre..Tjue..Førti To.."

Tails had KO'd forty-two STINC goons! Sadly, though a great asset, he perspires easily, and needed to take a breather. He broke the rules doing this. Once you leave the battlefield, you can't come back. So, there went one of the Good Guy's greatest warriors.

Subchapter Six-Two: Ninj at your Service!
A couple of penguins looked straight ahead, and saw a penguin on a ski boat from the nearby sea water. The ski-boat crashed onto the shore and an orange penguin jumped out of the boat riding a Turbo-Bike. He skidded the bike in front of The Good Guys and took off his shades, his bandana shining in the sun.

"Have no fear, Ninj is here!"

"Finally!" sighed a penguin. "It's Ninjinian!"

"No time to chat, brother, we've got pies to shoot!" ignored Ninjinian. "I haven't came all the way from the UnitedTerra just to watch some penguins throw pies! I want some action!"

He paused.

"Over here, boys!" Ninjinian shouted. At first there was nothing, but them they could hear a rumbling sound. At least 50 or maybe even 100 penguins stopped in front of them. "I bought the Zero Reverse Army if you don't mind."

"Sure, it's OK!" said a penguin.

"Ah, my dear friend." Spoke Professor Shroomsky.

"Hello, brother!" replied Ninjinian.

"We haven't got much time, though, so we need to continue!" said Shroomsky.

"Don't worry, brother. I've come prepared." bragged Ninjinian, and the Zero Reverse Army held up there Pie-Launchers.

"It's go time, boys . . . . "

The army & Ninjinian threw pies to the STINC minions as they dodged the pies and fell to the ground.

"Boys, meet the Pie-Launcher. It's a catapult which you can co-ordinate where to launch pies."

"Great job, Ninj!" thanked Shroomsky.

"No problem, brother. Now lets finish this off."

Ninjinian didn't know what would come to him, but he sensed that something would go terribly wrong very soon.

Subchapter Six-Three: Six thousand... and Ninjahopper.
King Triskelle had rallied as many able bodied penguins and strong lads he could. He caught up to the other High Penguin officials, at the ruins of Permothylae.

"I bring five hundred from Northfold, Friend!" Elessar said.

"Seven hundred more from Snowbourne!" Bodo Bunce proclaimed.

"Sir, we have six thousand spears altogether." Will Whitefoot sighed.

"Six Thousand? That will not be enough to defeat the lines of the Darktonian Realm.."

"Sir-If I may say.." Will interrupted.

"No, you may not. We have till nightfall, then we march." Triskelle retorted.

The camp began to pick up the pace, and everyone began to get ready. The smithies were being crowded, the puffles being fed, everyone was readying themselves for war.

"Six Thousand..." Triskelle mumbled, watching the first lines move out.

"Arr, we be walkin to PBJT Valley, arr arr arr!" Sung Ninjahopper.

The Sensei Apprentice and his students had been walking for hours but it was still along way to go. Despite being an experiment and not a Ninja from Diamond Falls, Speeddasher accompanied them to be of assistance.

"I just hope Blizzard is alright. I had some experience with penguins like this 90 years ago.”

"Don't worry," replied a student. "The little guy survived years in the mountains by himself. He can survive a few days out at war."

"Look on the bright side!" said another. "Ninjahopper is finally happy."

Speed just rolled his eyes.

"Ya think. Wait until we have to tell him that in order to get to PBJT Valley we have to sail across the ocean (Ninjas live in Club Penguin)."

Ninjahopper, not hearing what Speeddasher said, just continued singing and marching across the mountains. Surprisingly none of them realized that Metal Explorer silently followed them.

"It'll be nice going outside of Club Penguin. The mainland sounds cool." whispered on student to another.

"Does our master know he's going to have to cross over the sea to get to the mainland?"

Metal Explorer made an evil grin as he popped his head out of a nearby bush. The robot was very stealthy though and no one saw him. His phone attachment started to ring and he answered it.

"Metal Explorer we need you back at the battlefield now. I sense Kwiksilver is approaching."

The robot laughed quietly as he starred at the Ninjas.

"Darktan, I respect you and want to serve you as much as possible, but honestly he's just a penguin. What harm could he.....

"LISTEN HERE BOLTS FOR BRAINS! YOU EITHER GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL SELL YOUR PARTS FOR CASH!"

Little did Darktan know that the reason Metal Explorer was acting so weird is that he was entering his rebellious mode. In this mode he wouldn't listen to anyone and would only do what he wanted.

"So, are you coming back or......

Metal Explorer hung up and continued to follow the Ninjas.

Chapter Seven: POTASSIUM!
Back on the battlefield, the Magma Puffle was still wreaking havoc. Even Oxipie had no effect on it.

"WROARRRRR! MAGMA PUFFLE DESTROY PATHETIC PENGUINS!!"

The beast actually seemed to be getting larger as it consumed numerous Pie Tanks and Trees. But then it went for a nearby building that looked kind of out of place next to a battlefield.

"That thing grows bigger every time it eats something!" Claimed a Penguin. "We've gotta stop it!"

Just then the creature swallowed the structure (no penguins were inside), and it grew to an enormous size. In fact it nearly took up the whole battlefield.

"ROOOOOOAR! MAGMA PUFFLE ATTAAAAAAAAAACK!"

Suddenly, the ground exploded between the two armies and an oddly familiar giant drilling machine burst out, a small wagon and lantern attached to the back. Deathly silence fell over both sides. A large door swung open on the side of the machine and a penguin stepped out. He wore a black tunic and a blackened, once red beanie. A red puffle wearing a ninja mask sat on his shoulder.

"Sorry I took so long," said Kwiksilver, reaching into his tunic pocket for something.

"It took ages for us to find and fix Herbert's machine," said Sprocket, the red puffle.

Kwiksilver pulled out a large box and threw out some strange looking guns that were tossed into the army of good.

"These are Banana Blasters," said Kwiksilver, "Open fire on that Magma Puffle!"

Streams of yellow banana goop flew through the air and landed on the giant puffle. They were absorbed into its body.

"WROARR! PUNY LITTLE GUNS DO NOTHING TO MAGMA PUFFLE!" bellowed the Magma Puffle.

Then a curious change came over the great beast. It turned a brilliant yellow and it's eyes widened. It toppled backwards into Darktan's army, out for the count.

"What just happened?!? You can't just knock out a beast like that!" screamed Darktan.

"Bananas are an excellent source of potassium. Magma Puffle is just a giant Lava Puffle, isn't he?" said Kwiksilver.

Darktan was silent. So were the armies.

"Lava Puffles can't handle potassium, it is their immune system's weak point . They get knocked out on contact. That Magma Puffle will be unconscious for about two days, and we'll defeat you in that much time, hey?"

"YEAH!" A giant cheer erupted from the army of good. The fighting started up again.

"Have at you!" yelled Kwiksilver and Sprocket, and they dived into the fray, blasting Oxipie out of their guns.

The Ninjas arrived just in time to see the Magma Puffle collapse. The Magma had turned into a yellowy substance that resembled a Banana Milkshake.

"I guess we missed all the action," said one of them.

Just then a pie hit one of them on the back causing them to collapse. Ninjahopper and the others looked behind them to see the STINC Army with some weapons they had stolen from Tail's Igloo.

"You sure about that noob? "Asked a STINC Member jokingly. "The action seems to have just begun."

Just then Ninjahopper approached their Leader. He had an angry look on his face and he held out one of his cards with no picture on the front.

"Argh, ye better not make me use this," he growled.

The STINC Warriors simply laughed as he held up the card. One even poked him, and then they laughed even harder. Ninjahopper didn't even budge, and continued to look more serious.

"Bring it on old man!" One yelled.

Ninjahopepr smirked as he threw the card to the ground. For awhile nothing happened and the STINC started laughing again. However the laughter was soon turned to terror.

"OW!" One of them yelled. "Something just hit me on the head."

The STINC looked up to see hail falling down only on them. They started to scream and ran all of over the battlefield. Ninjahopper laughed and his students looked amazed.

"What type of Card is that?" One asked

"Argh, it be a special card that only Senseis and their eventual successors receive ye students. It can do whatever ye want, with some limitations though."

The STINC Warriors continued to run and the Ninjas quickly followed them. But one ran back to Ninjahopper before going to fight.

"ZOMG-YOU'RE-ROCKHOPPER-AND-YOU'RE-A-NINJA!"

"AAAAARGGH!"

Chapter Eight: Secret Weapons Abound!
Mayor McFlapp and Explorer walked through the corridors of Ternville. Sounds of the battle drifted up from below and could be heard from outside.

"Come on, wot!" said Mayor McFlapp, breaking into a run. "I want t' show you something."

The two creatures zigzagged through the winding hallways until they reached a tall metal door. It was locked with a biometric pass. Mayor McFlapp scanned his eyes and beak, then unlocked the door with his City Key. The door swung open, setting free a mist of purple gas.

When the cloud dissipated, Explorer found himself standing in a dark laboratory. Mayor McFlapp's shadow appeared on the wall and signaled for him to follow.

The Mayor led Explorer to a large machine in the center of the room. It had a small, empty holder that was suspended over a vat of some molten substance.

"Would y' mind if I borrowed your little Amulet?" asked Mayor McFlapp, extending his wing. Explorer pulled the glassy icicle from his inventory and gave it to the Mayor, who inserted it into the machine's holder. When he rubbed the amulet's top, it began to glow and started shooting glacial energy into the vat below.

"This, my friend," explained the Mayor as he watched the vat begin to bubble, "is my newly invented type of ammunition, wot! King Triskelle and I came up with it! This here bally molten stuff is a special type of metal that can hold energy, such as the Silmaril energy that the Elemental Amulets shoot out! When I shoot energy into its liquid form, the stuff hardens and turns into a glassy, brittle substance! That's what we'll use as our flippin' ammo, wot!"

The Mayor, using a set of tongs, pulled a glassy sphere from the vat. Trapped in the sphere was some kind of bluish energy, the same kind that the Ice Amulet spewed out. Explorer oohed and ahhed as the Mayor smashed the glass ball on the floor, causing an ice patch to form where the energy had escaped.

"Hurry now, wot!" said Mayor McFlapp as he turned a latch and opened a door. "I have a very important meeting at the South Pole Council!"

King Triskelle and the High Penguin remnant army had reached South Pole City. Triskelle knew this city inside and out, ever since it was South Pole Citadel.

"I know something that few else do..." He said to Will Whitefoot.

"Well, what is-"

"Shhhh!" Triskelle interrupted.

He walked up to the gates of The South Pole Krytocric Hall. He didn't think anyone was here, so he broke the gates open.

"Ah! You're rather late, aren't you, wot?" came the voice of Mayor McFlapp from the courtroom.

"Oh, isn't this a spree! Follow me, and do exactly as I say," Triskelle replied.

"Sah, yes sah!"

McFlapp pulled out a key from his great coat, and flew up to the clock tower where the Khan Die was cast. Grabbing the huge hands on the clock, he strained to shift the large flippers. Even though the Mayor was able-bodied, it took a while to move the hour and minute hands to their new positions. Eventually, he moved the clock to 3:14, then to Noon, then to 3:14 simultaneously. Upon the completion of the old code, the bells rang in musical sequence B-A-D-D-E-E, a sound that echoed for kilometers away.

A trapdoor in the purple roof of the capitol sprang open. Its mechanisms were so old that it seemed it was untouched for decades.

Walking in, the Mayor was amazed at the weapons Triskelle spoke of. There were catapults and HP magic scrolls, thousands of untouched pies, pie recipes with results that would stick like glue, even several cannons dating back to Khanzem. Loading them out one by one, they continued preparing.

Becky, the Mayor's secretary, flew to the Frost Clock Tower and twisted the tower's spire as if it were a combination lock. In fact, it was, with small numbers etched upon its base. Becky turned the lock to the combination "12-24-12-16", and several "mini-cannons" sprung out of the clock's Big Ben-esque "windows" that were placed above each clock face. A deputation of terns flew over to operate the cannons.

Explorer, meanwhile, was in the downtown portion of the city stringing a bungee chord between two skyscrapers; it became a giant slingshot.

City volunteers were already at the city walls, activating several repeating ballistas and trebuchets by turning each merlon on the battlement 90 degrees to the left, then punching the star symbols under the merlons. Other helpers were loading ammo into the giant artillery machines.

Triskelle told his entrouge to help them. They loaded the ammo from the secret room, as well as all of the ice ammo from the laboratory, and set it upon the slingshot. The cannons and such were loaded onto Pie Tanks and were preparing to be transported to PBJT battle.

Triskelle told all the High Penguins to find any department stores or clothing shoppes and recite "Treguna Mekoides and Trecorum Satis Dee".

South Pole Citadel had come back. The war was about to be turned on its side.

Chapter Nine: Tails Versus Metal Explorer
Metal Explorer had an angry look on his face. The Dark Archons had failed to defeat the ninjas, and King Triskelle was almost to the battle. He then noticed on penguin who seemed to be firing hot sauce out of some machine. It was Tails6000, who was one of his main rivals.

"The penguin all ways wanted to fight. Let's see if he wants to now."

The robot then landed next to Tails, using his force field gadget to avoid being hit by hot sauce (wich would instantly cause his gears to stop working).

"It's about time we had that final battle like we did in that video game, whatever it was called," proclaimed the robot. "I just want to know if you except the challenge, unless you're to chicken?"

Putting his hot sauce blaster down, Tails held out his flipper.

"I am not chicken Metal Explorer," he replied. "Let's have this final face off."

Metal Explorer then neutralized the force field and they shook flippers.

"I've been waiting three years for this moment Tails. And the best part is, I chose the battleground."

Metal Explorer then grabbed Tails and they landed on a strange and dark stone platform that was about 6,000 feet above the Pie War. The sky kept changing and occasionally an explosion would be seen in the sky. Metal Explorer's hands turned to laser guns, and two huge machine guns popped out of his shoulders. His feet turned almost pitch black, and a dark black cape appeared on him. Tails looked sternly, and Metal Explorer Laughed.

"Jealous?"

"You think you're so smart don't you?"

The robot smirked and his eyes glowed red.

"Off coarse not penguin. Power defeats Skill any day. Anyways are you ready to brawl penguin?" Asked the Robot.

Tails transformed into his super mode. He could now run fast, and jump incredibly high.

"Ready," he replied.

thumb|100px|right|Theme for battle.

Shortly after, Metal Explorer and Tails stood apart from each other.

"Let's get it on!" exclaimed Tails, ready for battle. The fight began in a heartbeat. The two were at such blazing speeds that the only way to follow was to view it in slow motion.

"You may know everything I plan on doing, but that works both ways! I know exactly what you want to do as well! I can predict your moves!" said Tails in a stern way.

"Oh really. Then you probably expected this."

A huge laser beam shot out of one of his guns and hit one of Tail's feet. Metal Explorer laughed, and Tails growled. Furiously he ran at lightning speed and punched the robot in the face.

"AAAAAAAARGH!" Growled Metal Explorer.

The robot quickly got up, but Tails simply laughed.

"And I suppose you expected that to huh Metal Explorer."

"GRRRRR, that's it you worthless penguin. I'm gonna finish you off here and now, and no I don't care if this is breaking the COC."

The two commenced flipper-to-flipper combat right there. He threw pies attempting to hit Tails. Eventually after thirty tries he succeeded. After that he kept trying to hit him more times but could not succeed.

"Stand still penguin. I've got to get back to Darktan's Castle soon or Manny will start whining."

After about thirty minutes of this, Tails became fed up at their equally matched abilities. Deciding to end this now, he reached into his player card and pulled out his Gems. Throwing them upon the ground, he became Hyper Tails, meaning he was now stronger than before. He started floating and could run unbelievably fast. He turned flashing colors as well.

"Did you really think you could defeat me, by transforming into a monster?"

The robot simply stood looking confused. The penguin then landed to the ground and pointed his flipper at Metal Explorer, sending a Beam of Destruction Energy at him.

"Behold my super form Metal Explorer. Behold HYPER TAILS!"

"Whoa. Didn't see that coming."

Tails laughed at that remark, for his power now exceeded the robot's. He formed a mass of Destruction Spear in his flippers, while Metal Explorer looked onward. A smirk went across his beak as he took the Destruction Spear and placed it in his trusty slingshot. The robot simply laughed however, and Tails looked puzzled.

"So you honestly believe that your pathetic beam of Destruction Energy can take down me. I am a trained battle robot, I was activated by Destruction Energy and all you will do if you shoot that at me is make me even stronger."

"True Metal Explorer. But you've forgotten one thing."

"Oh really. And what is that pathetic glowing penguin?"

He pulled its strap back, and let go, sending a beam of Chaos Spear clean into Metal Explorer!

KKZZZEEEERRTT!

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Metal Explorer then stopped yelling. He looked down to see an empty hole where his Ditto Container, and Energy Source where supposed to be. He then looked back and saw Tails laughing.

"Destruction Overload," gloated Tails."

Metal Explorer tried to talk back, but it was useless. All the wires in his chest were fried. His circuits shorted, and he powered off for good. What remained of the robot fell to the ground. In true dramatic fashion, Tails floated down gently where the dead mass of wires and silicon was. It was all over for Metal Explorer.

"Heh heh" Tails smirked with a chuckle and the gems' power had gone back into the gems. He was normal again.

Since he couldn't rejoin the war (because he left), he hopped into his airplane and flew off to a nice vantage point to watch the war in safety.

Chapter Ten: So long Manny
Austin8310 zoomed in on his golf cart. "What? I'm late? Oh come on. I spent 10,500 Khanz for an airplane ride and I'm late?!?!?! Oh well." Austin8310 charged, wielding his mullet.

Furious about being late, he charged into the nearest STINC soldier.

'''POW! SLAM! CRASH!'''

He then grabbed a boisonberry and twirled it around his head. Once, twice, thrice, and threw.

NEROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THUD THUD CRASH BANG "AGHHH" SLAM "OH NOES NOT BOISONBERRY!"

Austin8310 laughed as a battalion ran for cover. Suddenly, three Doom Knights stood front of him. He smacked one in the face, but the other two advanced on him.

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry..."

The Doom Knight laughed.

"Bring it, tiny."

Austin8310 grew to a large size, and with one swipe of a flipper, that Doom Knight fell to the floor. A countdown, a bell, gone. The other one ran in fright, not wanting to face the now normal-sized Austin.

Another Doom Knight sneaked behind, and clobbered Austin. He was out for the count!

That was, until Flystar55555 came from the sky and saved him!

Picking him up, and slapping him to conciousness, they continued to battle.

It was near 8:00 PM, and the noob Manny Peng was eating some pie. He was happy the fact that Metal Explorer was gone. Now he wouldn't have to be babysat, and he was more happy than ever. But his happiness would soon end. A very sad Darktan walked into his room. He appeared to be crying with and holding a tissue.

"What's wong wor mwagesty? Dwo woo mwiss thwat nwoob Mwetal Wexpworer?"

Darktan slightly smirked as he held the tissue over his face, but Manny didn't realise it. Little did he know that Darktan had allways hated him, and was waiting for a chance to send him away. The penguin quickly took the smirk off his face though and started to cry again.

"I'm afraid you have to move out Manny. With Metal Explorer gone there's no one to watch you," said Darktan while crying.

Manny then screamed.

"I ONWY THWEE! I ONWY THWEE! Pwease don't send mwe away!"

Darktan continued to cry.

"I don't have time to watch you dear Manny. I'll have to send you somewhere else."

A cage then popped out of the floor and captured the Mwa Mwa Penguin. Darktan called a Skua and Manny Peng was ready to be carried off.

"Oh please atleast try and find him a good home," Darktan said in a fake cry.

The Skua garbbed the cage, and Manny was ready to be carried off to Ban Island. The Mwa Mwa Penguin screamed. Infact, he screamed so loud that Fred's glasses almost cracked.

"I ONWY THWEE! I IS SWO SWAD!"

"Good bye Manny, good bye," said Darktan as he sobbed and closed the window.

Once he closed it, crying turned into laughter. His eyes glowed, and he laughed his trademark laugh.

"Ha ha ha, good ridance."

Darktan then went back to his seat to watch the war.

As the skua was carrying Manny off to Ban Island, it suddenly took a right turn at 90-150 and flew to an island. Lightning forked all around the landmass, and a dank, rusted prison was illuminated in the storm. Sheets of rain fell as Manny trembled at the menacing structure ahead of him.

"W-w-wait, this is nwot Bw-b-bwan Iswand?" Said a confused Manny.

The Skua landed next to him. She had a evil smrik on her face. Then things got even more creepy. The skua pulled off her discuise and all was revealed. The Skua was none other than Mabel wearing a propeller hat, disguised as a bird.

"There's been a change of plans Manny," she said. "Ban Island is to good a punishment for you. You'll remain in prison until you can talk like a normal penguin."

Mabel then threw off the propeller hat and stomped on it (she only wore it so she could snatch Manny Peng).



"And the best part is, I'll be your teacher. Welcome to Owcatraz."

Mabel smirked and Manny cried so much that the cage would've flooded if it didn't have a window (don't worry everyone, Manny had eaten to much chocolate the other day so he couldn't fit through it). Mabel then made an evil laugh as she carried Manny Peng to his cell for his first school lesson.

Lightning flashed as Mabel brought up a chalk board.

"Your first lesson: Grammar."

"AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Hey Tails did you hear that. Manny's gone. Oh yah!" Yelled Speeddasher as he was talking to Tails on his phone.

"Yah that was awsome," Tails replied. "One Mwa Mwa Penguin in the USA down, about 1,550,670 to go."

Speed then said goodbye and put his phone away. He then got out a megphone and spoke into it.

"Hey everyone! Manny Peng has finally been put in jail! And his teacher is Mabel!"

Everyone was silent for a minute. Then everyone (including Darktan's minions) cheered. They were all as happy as they could ever be, and some even started dancing. About an hour later though everyone got back to the Pie War.

Chapter Eleven: Defend the City!
Triskelle entered the South Pole City Museum of Antarctican History. Inside, suits of armour, Trans-Antarctica Highlanders, Loyalist Red Coats, Naughtzee uniforms, and High Penguin guard robes were arranged neatly.

Triskelle cleared his oesophagious and cracked his flippers. "Treguna Mekoides Trecorum Satis Dee!" He said in a loud and clear voice. The historic garments floated to life, and Triskelle grinned.

"This'll be a lark!" He said.

Mayor McFlapp and the Terns loaded ammo into the turrets, and supplied Triskelle's army with loaded weapons. Triskelle's army stood positions on the wall, while the High Penguins and Triskelle rallied all the clothes with the Substitutiary Locomotion spell.

Meanwhile, Explorer had a stroke of genius. He gave Triskelle a look, and Triskelle knew what he wanted to do. They waddled to the city center and found the Giant Pen. Triskelle pointed his flipper at the tall moneument, he shouted at it, "Treguna Mekoides Trecorum Satis Dee!"

EEEERRRRRWEEEEEE!!!!

The Giant Pen lifted itself from its pedestal and started following Explorer down the path. Grinning proudly, Explorer showed McFlapp the Pen, which was now leaning over the Citadel battlements, as if it wanted to charge at the Darktonian lines.

"Ahaha.. Revenge of the gift shoppe..." laughed Triskelle. "Note to self: Give Miss Price a reward once the war is over for inventing the most useful spell in history!"

Even though the other warriors were using pies, Speed used his Card Jitsu cards. He wanted to fight like the Ninjas of Olde Antarctica did, and he liked using the Fire Card. Then something grabbed him and lifted him up into the air. He looked up and saw it was a Icarus. He didn't know any card he could use to defeat it though, and then more Icari came.

"Bring the Ninja to Darktan, "said the one that looked like the leader. "He'll make a good Flame Kinght."

Speeddasher rolled his eyes and went to reached to pull out a Destruction Gem Tails had let him borrow.

"Ha, you have no idea what you're up against you fools."

"Oh ya?" Asked One. "And what is that n00b?"

Speed laughed, and then easily broke free from their grasp. Using the Gem he held in his flipper, he floated in the air. All of the Icari looked at him shocked.

"Just what are you?"

"Over 90 years ago I was created using the DNA of an immortal Alien Leader, and Ninja Penguin Feathers. I was locked in suspended animation, and just a few years ago I was set free. I'm the ultimate life form."

The Icari had all fallen asleep listening to his story, but quickly woke up. They then got some heavy Snowball Guns out.

"Oh ya. Then take this!"

Speeddasher rolled his eyes and then held up his gem.

"Destruction Shield!"

A field of energy then surrounded Speed and the Snowballs simply bounced right off. The Icari looked shocked and Speed simply laughed as he Neutralized the shield.

"Well can't deny that it wasn't fun. Easy but fun."

The Icari Leader growled and fire came from his rockets.

"You're gonna eat those words Smart Allic! Troops FIRE!!"

All the Icari charged at Speeddasher, while the penguin simply laughed and held up hs gem.

"DESTRUCTION CONTROL!"

Everything then started moving slowly, except for Speeddasher, and Speed ripped all of the Icari's rockets off. Then they started moving at normal speed again, only to realise that they were falling.

"We'll get you next time you fake Ninja."

"Ya, next time try and be less pathetic," joked Speeddasher.

The Icari then hit the ground with a huge thud, and the Templars quickly got out stretchers. Speed then laughed, but then realised he had stopped using the gem, and started to fall. He tried to activate the gem again, but he was falling to fast. Just then Tail's Plane flew right under him, and Speed landed right in one of the seats.

"Good thing I was here huh Speed," said Tails. "Otherwise you would've been flattened, and that Ultimate Lifeform reputation of your's would be ruined."

"What are you talking about!?" Replied Speed Angrily. "I could've saved myself then and there. I was simply to lazy at the moment. I appreciate you're assistance though Tails. Thank you."

Tails rolled his eyes and continued flying the plane.

"Sure thing buddy, sure thing."

The two then flew over PBJT Valley, and watched the battle peacefully from above.

Austin8310 glared. 42 STINC minions glared back. Up from above, Tails and Speeddasher stared. "He's a goner." "Totally".

Or was he?

Austin8310 whistled, and Flystar55555 flew out of the sky and pounded one, telegrabbed one, and fireblasted one.

At that, the STINC minions ran around in disarray. Austin8310 pounded, slammed, but then he was outnumbered. Suddenly, he had a stroke of genius! He jumped in his golf cart and started running the STINC minions over.

"EAT MY TIRES, WIMPS!!!"

A Icarus flew in and broke his car. Austin8310 flew out and was mobbed.But, he wasn't out yet. He grabbed a jetpack out of his inventory, a hose, and snowballs. He quickly flew up into the air, and shot the snowballs out of the hose. When he saw 8 Icari...

He ran for it.

He started yelling at them. "A BIT OF ASSISTANCE HERE?!?!?!" as the Icari swooped down and tried to pick him up.

Eventually, Tails and Speed landed to let Austin in the plane with them. They then took off into the sky, watching the battle peacefully, each having done their duty for the USA.

"Alright boys (and girls)"said an unknown voice on board a plane. "Its jump time and I don't want any messing about.

"Lets go" said a Blizzard Ranger's voice.

Even before he jumped out he knew this was crazy. He quickly activated his parachute. When he landed, along with two other Rangers, he was surrounded by Doom Knights. The Doom Knight, each armed with Mullets, slapped and slapped the Rangers. Suddenly, Penghis Khan came out of no where and slapped the Doom Knights with the Imperial (now pie-filled) Mullet.

"Alright!" said one of the rangers.

More rangers arrived, each armed with either pies, snow guns or hot sauce machine guns. They all raced to battle, all eager (but still outnumbered) and began throwing their pies.

Deep under South Pole City, away from the battle, in a hidden chamber, Luce stood reading some ancient High Penguin Texts.

"My memorie hath failed me," she said. "Finwë!"

Footsteps. Luce spun around, ready to fight.

"I say, I say, what ya'll in my cellar?" said The Kernel, walking down some stone steps.

"Foolish, this an a hall of learning of anchient times."

The Kernel flipped a switch and the room was flooded with light. Crates of fish lined the walls along with EFF posters. A large picture of the Kernel, saying "IT'S FLIPPER SALIVATIN' GOOD" was hung next to the scroll shelves.

"Nope. Mah celluh."

"Lock yourself in here next time and rid us of your annoyance!" said Luce. "I am on important buisness."

"Why don't you call up that young'un, Kwiksilver? Ain't he the one of the people in that there Prophecy?"

"If it will get you off my back, I suppose we must all play a pawn in the game."

Luce scribbled a message on her Psychic Paper.

Kwiksilver, meet me at these co-ordinates.....

Chapter Twelve: Fire!
The Giant Pen moved up to the wall of South Pole City. Triskelle and McFlapp armed themselves.

"Wot? Thats not a flippin' pie!" McFlapp ranted to Triskelle, seeing the object he had in his right flipper.

"I know," Triskelle said. "Amulets arent out of the picture, seeing as Darkey has one."

Triskelle had actually brought every amulet, except Shadow and Light, with him. He slipped them around his neck.

Mayor McFlapp then gave orders to the defenders' army.

"All right, you bally bunglers, wot! You're here to PWN, not nap, so stay alert! Look out for sneak attacks and any bally pies that come flyin' at ya! No talking in the ranks, no stepping out of line, the sort. Any questions?"

No flippers came up.

"All right!" cried the Mayor. "Mini-cannons, you there, yes, you, on top of the bloomin' clock tower, you're our anti-aircraft artillery, wot! Wall cannons! Defend at short range! Repeating trebuchets and ballistas! Defend at long range, just shoot any ol' flippin' stuff at the foebirds, wot! Slow 'em down, eh? Infantry! Move out an' spread, cover the grounds on top o' the hill and and hold the foebirds there! Pie Tanks! Support the infantry, wot! Giant Pen! Err.... just move around the enemy lines, trample the foebirds, squirt ink, the like. Any last words, Chief?"

Triskelle nodded and turned to the army.

"FORBERED FOR SLAG!" he yelled.

"PREPARE FOR BATTLE, WOT!" McFlapp translated.

"Hmmm...." Darktan said, pacing back and forth. "We are losing. We must retreat. Aha, but they wont be much without their precious capital, will they?" He said to a Mwa Mwa Penguin.

"Otay. Wes swir!" said the loonie.

Darktan called a break with the referee. The referee agreed.

None of them knew that it would be the biggest mistake of their lives...

Troops were loaded into helicopters, and they flew to USA. As Guymed approached his helicopter, he started to think, "Is it Darktan, really Darktan? Can we save the penguin who once was from the evil spirit? What are we doing?" The Republic of Guymed's president kept mumbling on until he reached his chopper, and took off. They soon entered the battle airspace.

"Target locating at... 3, 4, BREAK LEFT!"

A pilot was hit with a large blast of fruit. The fruit jammed in the rotors as the pilot went down. He crash-landed, but lived.

"Ready penguins? Flippers down! Oraah!" a marine commander shouted. The helis landed onto the battlefield, and waved his arm in a motion saying "Grab your snowballs and snowguns!".

FW had joined the fight. The mighty Frosian Wariors had landed to help in the battle against Darktan. Soldiers picked up their PM1 and BA1 and charged.

FW got closer as Guymed met with one of the captains.

"They have stopped fighting, for some odd reason. We already know that they know they are losing," the official said.

"Really? Well, they must have something planned out." Guymed replied.

Mayor McFlapp watched the entire affair through a pair of binoculars. Putting the binoculars down, he signaled to his secretary, Becky.

"Yes, Mr. Mayor?" asked Becky as she walked up to McFlapp.

"Fly up t' the bally air base, eh, Becky?" replied the Mayor. "Meet with Admiral Gee again; treewalloper now, eh? Can you do it for me?"

"Consider it done, Mayor!" Becky said brightly. Two seconds later she was well up in the air, heading for the mass of clouds that hovered to the side of the battle.

The Kernel's cellar shook. Rocks and icicles fell from the ceiling as a giant drilling machine burst through the wall.

The shaking stopped.

Kwiksilver jumped out of the machine. The Kernel had his mouth open and was in shock.

"Mah...mah celluh! Y'all gone and blown a hole in it!"

"Would your task not have been easier, and hastier, if ye had took the route past Kentucky Kernel's abode?" asked Luce, annoyed.

"More dramatic," answered Kwiksilver, "Anyway, why am I here?"

"We are gathered hear too answer the threat of Darktan," said Luce, "Finwë, my predecessor as keeper, had not the time to teach me the art of the Brilliance, the Maledict's polar opposite."

"I'm in that thar prophecy?" The Kernel asked.

Both nodded.

"Well I be fried and covered in oysters."

"Then why don't you do it, and end the war?" Kwiksilver chimed in.

"I cannot. The Prophecy states that the three all of us are eligible to defeat Darktan, shall we not all do our job? Have any of you experienced anything 'funny', as the modern chicks say?"

"I say, I say, I've got a flipper salvilatin' good one!" cried The Kernel, "Two puffles walk into a bar-"

"Fool of a lower.. Not the 'ha ha' kind of funny, but an odd or queer sensation," said Luce.

Kwiksilver spoke.

"Ever since I've been born, I've heard this weird beat in my head. Just a soft beat. I'll tap it out."

He tapped his feet on the ground in a beat.

"I say, that there beat sounds like the song, Peanut Butter Jelly Time!" said the Kernel.

"Peanut Butter what?" asked Luce and Kwiksilver at the same time.

"Ya'll never heard of it? It's the craze, I say the craze that's sweepin' Antarctica. An internet phenomon, that is."

The Kernel snatched Kwiksilver's Icepod and speakers. He plugged them into a power socket.

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!! Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

The rest of the song was drowned out when a burst of light lit up the room like a camera flash.

High up on Ternville's solitary air base, Admiral Gee finished talking with Becky and silently dismissed her. He then turned to the group of pilots standing eagerly before him.

"All right, you," the admiral ordered gruffly. "You've probably seen that there battle those penguins are fightin' below, and Mayor McFlapp has just given us an executive order to help with the war. Here is a diagram of the designated attack manuever, codenamed 'Treewalloper'."

Admiral Gee took out a holographic projector and displayed a 3-D diorama of the planned aerial offense.

"You're t' drive the enemy forces towards South Pole City," grunted the admiral as he pointed to different locations on the diagram. "Rain missiles of any sort on the baddies, whatever you like. It shouldn't be too hard to get them t' move; according to our intelligence, they have already planned to attack the capital. The Mayor has set up an army at South Pole City, complete with artillery, so when you see them fire, fly to a higher altitude and drop bombs on the enemy. Take care not to hit the wrong side or the city itself. We'll send over choppers with extra ammunition half an hour after the initiation confirmation signal. That's all there is to it; any questions?"

The pilots all shook their heads.

"All right then," shouted the admiral as he pressed a button and opened the hangar door, "let's move, move, MOVE! "

The pilots rushed to their fighters, hopped in, and closed the cockpit. Half a minute later, a group of white planes were soaring over the battlefield, each with the words "Air Force of Ternville" painted on its side.

The light slowly toned down until a yellow penguin engulfed in light could be seen floating in the middle of the cellar. It finally spoke.

"You summoned me?"

"Saint Finwe!" gasped Luce, "You've got to help us! Darktan's going to transform any time soon and I have no idea how to become the Brilliance!"

"Darktan? Oh, him," Saint Finwe said, "You need to find the last vial of High Penguin Swimming Pool Water."

"Swimming pool water? The dew from The Two Trees?"

"Got it in one. It's what I used to transform for the first time. After that, it becomes easy."

"Where is the vial?" asked Luce.

Finwe paused for a bit, then spoke again.

"Half of the water is in Arda, guarded by High Penguins. The other half is in Mayor McFlapp's office in Ternville."

"I say we go for Mayor McFlapp's vial," said Kwiksilver, "Arda is too far away. Besides, I have a tunnel that leads straight to the battlefield."

"Yeah, but it will take ages to get there! Your drilling machine took 30 minutes to get here!" replied Luce, "We'd need jetpacks to go that fast!"

There was a cough. Kwiksilver and Luce spun around. The Kernel had five jetpacks hung up on a wall.

"I bought 'em ta deliver fish."

Kwiksilver and Luce smiled sheepishly.

There was another flash. They spun around again. Saint Finwe was gone.

"Well, let's go!" cried The Kernel.

Chapter Thirteen: The Deal
Meanwhile, Darktan was overseeing the whole battle. He was not liking the result;

"Hmph, this is not going as I planned."

An Abyss Knight approached the Dark Lord;

"Sir, we are suffering several casulties from the onslaught of pies. We'll be needing some sort of reinforcements to hold them off."

"Don't worry about it," Darktan replied; "There's... people you can hire for these kinds of things."

Darktan left the battlegrounds, and searched in the dark alleyways of the USA. He knew he'd be there; he's always watching. Eventually, Darktan managed to locate the mysterious figure he was looking for;

"I've come for your help, I assume you already know about the Pie War raging on in the battlegrounds."

The mysterious figure emerged from the alleyway. It was Bugzy.

"With all due respect, I don't see how this involves me." the beetle replied;



"I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement."

"Perhaps. Me and my boys could display some PWNAGE, that is, of course, you let us wet our beaks."

"I'm very powerful, and I can make you as powerful as I am."

"Then let us walk."

Bugzy escorted Darktan to his mansion. He introduced Darktan to his league of crimminals; the Underground PWN Mafia. All members paid their respect, and Bugzy and Darktan sat down in a Poker Table in discussion;

"Before I get into any details of offering my services, I'd like to know what sort of bonus me and my boys will be getting."

"When I rule Antarctica, I'll be sure to make all of my new citizens pay you a tax."

Bugzy chuckled in a small laugh;

"Pssh, with all due respect, you've yet to learn our gangster life. There's no honor, no challenge, no fun, stealing from ordinary penguins. You rip off a master crimminal, you know you're a master thief."

"I'm sure you could use an army of gangsters at your beck and call; how about some Painful Bears to aid you in your crimminal endeavours?"

"Only language I speak is money. Show me the moo-lah, and I'll show you protection."

"Fine, I'll pay you 10,000 pebbles."

"20,000."

"15,000."

"20,000 or no dice."

"Fine, you better win this war for me."

"Then we have a deal, Darktan. From now on, until this war is over, you are under PWN protection. Want us to slap around someone, we'll be there."

"Good, keep the enemy soldiers distracted, that ignorant fool Luce could never learn the secret of the Light Amulet, so I can simply transform into the Maledict, destroy the only thing that could stop me, and all will be under my rule!" Darktan yelled with a cackling laugh.

Mayor McFlapp finished typing the entire conversation on his PDA. "Good!" he laughed, smiling winningly at Triskelle. "Now for that interesting plot twist I had in mind, eh? ...heehee!"

Bugzy slowly walked from his mansion to the other side of South Pole City. All the streets and shops were deserted due to the fight, but Bugzy still kept an open eye on watch.

A few minutes later, he had reached the National Antarctic Bank (NAB for short). Bugzy entered through the silvery revolving door and ambled up to one of the counters. THe sillhouette of an anonymous teller appeared behind a blurred glass screen.

"So," the teller began in a low tone, "did ya get him t' pay up?"

Bugzy nodded and replied, "Gimme da moolah."

The teller passed a substantial amount of money sacks through an opening in the screen, talking at the same time.

"There ya go. Ya know what t' do, right?"

Bugzy nodded.

"Remember, I'll triple the cash if ya do ya job right. Deal?"

Bugzy grinned wickedly and shook flippers with the teller though the screen, then left, carrying all the money sacks in a small cart.

Chapter Fourteen: Bugzy's "Golden" Touch
The sun shone brilliantly up near Club Penguin. Two penguins could be seen sitting beneath a pine tree.

"We have exactly 195 days, nineteen hours, twentey four minutes and thirteen seconds before we must head back to advanced school. The first thing they'll ask us is what we did through the break. So, is there anything you have in mind?"

The first penguin turned on a nearby radio.

"Dagor Dagorath is still raging down in the valleys. Any able bodied (or not) penguin should head down there and defend the nations from an onsluaght of evil. Now here's Mister Tayto with the weather!"

The radio was switched off.

The penguin stood up and shouted.

"HERB! I KNOW WHAT WE'RE 'GONNA' DO TODAY!"

The other penguin nodded and pulled out a massive blueprint for a kiesh-based machine gun the size of a polar bear.

"Yep. That's it."

Midas smiled. They had work to do.

Midas and Herb were now hauling their keish-cannon across Antarctica in a special vehicle they built. Midas was loudly singing the USA national anthem, while Herb was humming that odd tune his species so often did.

After a while, they had to pull their vehicle over to get some diesal fuel.

"Herb, you stay here and prevent any Dark minions from stealing the cannon. I'll go get the fuel."

Herb nodded, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

As Midas hopped down, a shady figure came out the convienence store of the gas station and approached the small nerd.

"Yo little parody. Sup."

Midas turned to face the shady character. As he stepped out, Midas was surprised.

"SWEET SCHEMATICS ABOVE! A giant cockroach!"

Bugzy cringed, but regained his compsosure.

"I've hoid that you got a nice kapeesh cannon."

"My parents tell me not to talk to strangers."

Bugzy frowned.

"I ain't no stranger. The name's Bugzy."

Midas tilted his head a bit.

"Huh, that is a circa-1990s mobster hat, found on the heads of infamous cri-"

Bugzy suplexed onto Midas and slammed him against the conviencene store wall. His glasses fell off.

"YOU BETTER TELL NOBODY 'BOUT MY- ..."

Bugzy realized that the now-trembling Midas was observing and had no clue about the UPM. He put him down.

"Sorry... I take offense to people insulting my fly hat."

Midas stood up and dusted his robe off. He still lacked his glasses. He started wondering around looking for them.

Bugzy picked up the spectacles and took the oppurtunity to do some, um, research on the penguin. He grabbed his microphone.

"Yo yo yo, it's tha boss here. I need you to hijack the EPF documents on a Dorkugese penguin in an orange and white roibe, with red hair and a pointed beak."

"I can dig it." the line on the other end commented.

GANGSTA G quickly logged onto his Penguin OS computer. Typing in a few commands and entering his password, GG managed to hijack the Secret Agency's servers. He found one on Midas.

"Bugzy, I got the dirt. The kid's name is Midas Aurumen. His stepbrother is Herbford Tacet. I have some sales records here saying that they've bought and sold, get this dawg, ' submarines, iron, steel, nucear power generators, seven cases of plutonium-244, railroads tassels, twenty different building permits, paint, a snowcone machine, a Thank You card ', and that's just the firt paragraph."

"Anything I can actually USE?"

"Yep. Says here he's got a gold obbsession."

"Hmm... that'll work."

Bugzy turned to Midas.

"Hey kid! I found your glasses!"

Midas put them back on and started waddling off.

"Hey, wait! I got somethin' for yah!"

Midas cringed and waddled faster.

"It's yellow... and shiny..."

Midas stopped.

"Sh-sh-shi-i-i-i-ny?"

He turned around and ran back to Bugzy, who now had a crate standing near him (brought by UPM minions).

"Yep. Nice and metallic."

Midas' eyes widened. Bugzy snickered and pulled out a gold ingot. Midas started drooling.

"Gold gold gold...." Midas muttered to himself. Suddenly, he shook his body like mad.

"No! I must resist helping shifty characters..."

"Oooh, looks like about forty pounds of solid precious metal here..."

Midas continued to resist.

"Yep... don't want it to go to waste... yepp, this shiny, gleaming, high quality-"

"GOLD!!!" Midas screamed, sucummbing to the urge for the metal. "Gimme gimme gimme!!"

Herb stirred in his sleep.

Midas started jumping up and down, trying to reach for the gold that Bugzy was now holding high above him. He took several more ingots, much to Midas' awe, and juggled them with some of his appendages.

"So, I've heard ya got a nice kapeesh cannon..."

Midas nodded feverishly.

"Yyyyeeeeessssss....."

Bugzy tossed Midas some gold.

"Good penguin. Now, what are ya plannin' to do with it?"

"We-were-going-to-use-the-kiesh-cannon-to-defend-Justice-at-the-pie-war..."

Bugzy gave more gold to Midas and patted the drooling penguin on the head.

"That's a good boid. Now, may I have this cannon?"

Suddenly, Herb shot up out of his seat and hopped down just in time to see Midas about to hand a contract to Bugzy. Taking some flags out of his pocket, he started signalling to Midas. He waved some of his special signals he devised to alert Midas of his obbsessive actions.

Midas snapped out of it for a second (much to Bugzy's annoyance), seeing Herb waving a yellow flag with the pebble currency annotation on it.

"What? I was about to sign over a weapon to a villain?"

Herb nodded.

Midas was about to comment when Bugzy took out ten more ingots and started juggling them, too.

Herb slapped his flipper against his face and took out the Flag of the Darktonian Realm. He waved it like a Khanzem soldier would at a ceremony.

"WHAT? He works for- gold gold gold ggggooooolllllldddddd". Midas had just spotted the crate of gold ingots.

Herb sighed and put the flags away. He couldn't stop Midas now.

Bugzy tossed all of the gold onto a wagon and gave it to Midas. Midas, in exchange, gave Bugzy a contract granting him full use and distribution of the kiesh weapon. Using his strength, the beetle lifted the entire machine gun off its vehicle and flew off, leaving Midas with the crates of gold where the weapon once sat and Herb sighing and shaking his head.

Bugzy rang up Darktan on his microphone headset.

"Darky, I've got a new weapon for you."

"Excellent." Darktan laughed his trademark laugh over the phone.

Bugzy hung up, switched frequencies, and rang up the anonymous teller.

In the National Antarctic Bank, the teller and another, larger bird were sitting behind the counter. Both wore purple MMK cloaks to disguise themselves.

Just then, the phone rang.

The larger bird answered. "Hello?"

"Yo, Bugzy here. Tell dat propeller dawg dat I've got whut he's lookin' for."

The bird nodded, hung up, and pulled back his hood. The other did the same.

They were Mayor McFlapp and Explorer!

"Did he intercept the cannon?" asked the light blue Adelie.

"Yes, sah, he certainly did! Wot wot!" replied McFlapp.

"Excellent!" Explorer chuckled. With that, he took off his propeller hat and began twirling the rotor nonchalantly. "Being his neighbor, I knew Midas would fall for any amount of gold. That plot twist was an excellent idea, Mayor."

"Ho, no, 'twasn't my idea!" said the Mayor.

"Then whose was it?" said Explorer, surprised.

"'Twas Director Benny's."

The two burst into laughter and left the bank.

"Keep it down boys." said a Blizzard Ranger. "The Leader, along with a few Dark Penguin guards will parachute here soon. And we wanna surprise him"

Several phantom like figures are seen on the other side of that ditch. A Ford walks out, along with a few others.

"Fords! Take 'em out!"

They fired, all armed with hot sauce snipers and rifles but it was no good. The Fords would win. Another group of phantom like figures were moving. Thankfully, it was The Leader, along with a few Blizzard Rangers and the Dark Penguins, who knocked out the Fords with Dark Swords and Pies.

"C'mon, lets move." a Blizzard Ranger said.

They all walked, heading straight for one of Darktan's castles. Suddenly, a Pie hit one of the Dark Penguins. They've been ambushed by Fords, Doom Knights and General Coool41.

"We'll hold of the those Knights. You fight Coool." said a Dark Penguin.

The Leader went for a early strike with his Dark Sword but Coool defended himself with a Dark Sword. This would be a massive clash; Evil v Evil. Coool attacked, stunning The Leader. However, The Leader knew that Coool was no fighter and he hacthed a really evil plan. He attacked, stunning Coool and then, The Leader made a very strong attack on the flipper, knocking him out. Coool was down for the count. *ding ding*.

With a quick move, the rest of Coool's army was destroyed. Penghis Khan, along with a few Blizzard Rangers prepared to attack Darktan's castle. It was huge, but The Leader knew he could take it... or could he?

Chapter Fifteen: It's Raining Pepperoni and Blizzards!
Meanwhile, across the plains in front of South Pole City, Darktan's army was swiftly advancing.

Mayor McFlapp watched the evil regiment approach through a set of binoculars. He waved at a series of loaded trebuchets and ballasts to standby for fire.

"Closer, now, wot, a little closer..." muttered the Mayor as he watched the front lines draw ever nearer to the fortress city. "All right, that's close enough now, gotta fire before they bally see us..... Catapults 23 to 31! Set your vectors Z3 t' Z7, fire at full power..... NOW!"

Large, glassy balls containing Amulet Energy flew through the air, accompanied by several spaghetti missiles and pizza grenades. The projectiles soared through the air, cutting through the wind at a record height, then zoomed straight down and various angles.

A Mwa Mwa Penguin at Darktan's front lines looked around the army, making sure everything was in order for the attack. Numerous frontline STINC soldiers carried missiles to launch at the walls. They were backed up by Doom Knights who were armed with Headcrabs. If the STINC's attempt to breach the walls failed, the Doom Knights would throw the Headcrabs over the walls, where the brainwashing crustaceans would crawl around and brainwash a group of citizens into opening the city gates wide. Then the whole Darktonian army would charge into the supposedly unprotected city.

Once the Mwa Mwa Penguin finished making sure everything was set for the attack, it resumed its post on the top of Windy the cloud. All of a sudden, a glassy, glowing ball fell from the sky and smashed straight into the madpenguin's face. There was a quick cracking sound, then the Mwa Mwa Penguin was gone from sight. In its place was a solid, opaque block of ice.

Glassy balls and missiles began pummeting from above, causing chaos everywhere. A group of STINC soldiers were running from a mega-tsunami, several Mwa Mwas had just vanished in a purple flash of light when a large, glowing missile hit them, and the Dark Templars were being kept from their patients by a bombardment of pizza toppings and hot sauce. The Mwa Mwa Penguin was immediately freed from the ice block by a missile, only to be blown away by a tornado that had sprouted from the remains of one of the duller glass balls.

Darktan was furious. Everywhere he looked, he saw disorder. "Explain this to me!" he raged at yet another Mwa Mwa Penguin. The Mwa Mwa opened its mouth, as if to say something, but was swept off its feet by a wild blizzard. Darktan immediately ducked to avoid a small fireball, then stormed off to his mobile tent to wait out the ambush.

Midas and Herb sat under the pine tree in their back yard, with their Puffle, Perry. It had been about twelve hours since they first sold their invention to that insect, and only Herb had put any thought to whether it was right or wrong. Midas on the other hand soon started to get annoyed. He had done nothing since they made that contraption, and he didn't even want to stare at his gold for the moment.

"I for one am starting to get bored, and boredom is something of wich I will not put. The first thing they're gonna ask us when we go back to that school is if we helped defend the USA from Darktan."

Herb rolled his eyes. He wished he could've done something to stop that evil insect, but Midas would never has listened to him. His obsession with gold was just to great. Now, all of the USA, and Antarctica for that matter might be doomed. Just then, he got an idea. Quickly he started drawing up a blueprint.

"Whatcha got there Herb?"

Putting on the finishing touches of the blueprint Herb blew the dust off his pencil. Gladly he handed it to Midas who looked at it curiously. Soon his step brother's eyes widened, and he stood up.

"This is genius, pure genius! Herb, I know what we're gonna do toady!"

Happily that he had finally convinced his brother to do something that would help Antarctica, Herb pulled out his toolbox. It was then that they acknowledged their puffle's disappearence.

"Good idea Herb. Hey, where's Perry?"

The pepperoni continued to fall from the skys. Craáin Sensei tried to use his Doom Weed Cards to stop them, but there were just to many. He kept trying anyways, but even he wasn't to sure it would work. The other minions would've laughed at him if it hadn't have been that they were to busy trying to avoid the falling buffet. Just then, things got even worse. Meatballs started falling down from the sky like Hail. Many of Darktan's minions tried to avoid them, but a few opened their mouths attempting to have a free meal.

"Why are you guys so afraid. We've eaten nothin but Unsalted Seaweed for Three whole Days. These Meatballs are delicious."

At this they all stopped running. Realising that this was their chance to get a free meal, they quickly pulled out plates, and started catching the food. Soon however more types of food came falling down. Icecream, Mullets, and lots of types of Candy fell straight down from the sky. The minions were having the time of their lives, while Darktan peaked out of the tent.

"I have a feeling something is making this happen, but why would they......"

Darktan stopped talking as he saw the Side of Good running away towards South Pole City. The Dark Leader growled with Anger.

"So they think just by giving my minions food that they'll give Triskelle time to escape! Well they thought wrong. MINIONS, I ORDER YOU TO CHASE AFTER THEM!"

None of them replied as they were to busy eating. Darktan just decided to leave them there for now as it was useless at the moment.

"Well I guess this isn't a total loss. After all, I still have the Shadow Amulet."

Darktan floated back to the Estate waiting for this unusual storm to pass.

Luce, Kwiksilver and The Kernel jetpacked through the Drilling Machine's tunnel.

RNNN-NNN-nn-nnnnnn

The jetpacks coughed and spluttered, and the trio slowly began to fall as the fuel ran out.

"Kernel!" yelled Luce and Kwiksilver.

The Kernel smiled sheepishly.

"I say, fuel's hard ta get these days."

Kwiksilver was glum.

"So we're all gonna die falling to the floor of a tunnel. Pathetic," he muttered.

The jetpacks exploded and they started falling to their deaths.

Luckily, their deaths never happened because at that moment a blue police box suddenly appeared in front of them.

It upended itself and the trio fell into it.

A Sanity Human looked up from a glowing console at the three penguins sprawled on the metal floor in front of him.

The human was wearing a large trenchcoat and a suit and tie. He brushed back his messy brown hair in an attempt to straighten it, but it sprung back. He grinned.

"Hey there," said The Doctor.

100px|right|The Doctor's Theme

A theme tune started to randomly play out of nowhere as Luce, Kwiksilver and The Kernel got to their feet.

They were in a large, circular room. A console stood in the middle of it. The column in the middle of the console was going up and down. They were in flight.

"Prancing prominences! Kwiksilver, where in the name of the High Penguin Confederacy are we?" asked Luce, staring at Doctor Hickory Dickory Dock, who was rushing around the console, flipping levers and spinning dials.

"That is The Doctor and we're in his spaceship, the TARDIS," answered Kwiksilver.

The Kernel was confused.

"I say, I say, that blue box was mighty small! How'd we get in here?"

The Doctor responded without looking up.

"TARDIS. T-A-R-D-I-S. Stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. You see, it's bigger on the inside."

Kwiksilver bounded up to the console, where the Doctor was staring at a computer screen.

"So what's up, Doc?" he asked.

The Doctor looked over at him.

"Very funny. Well, I don't take sides, but the future is looking very bad for the side of good. I've got to get you to Ternville faster."

He pulled a random switch and Luce, The Kernel and Kwiksilver flew backwards.

The TARDIS was plunged into darkness and the whole room shook.

"Time Locked!" cried the Doctor over the noise.

"Time Locked?" cried the trio.

The lights went back on and the room stopped shaking.

"Time Locked." confirmed the Doctor.

Luce stood up.

"That's great. Now could somebody tell me what a Time Lock is?"

"A Time Lock," began the Doctor, "Is a sort of lock in the space-time continuum. Nobody can time travel to it. Mayor McFlapp has put a time lock on Ternville, probably to stop people from changing the pie war's outcome."

"This is ridiculous!" cried Luce, "I'm going back to the battle."

She stomped up to the door and struggled to open it.

"I am so sorry, Luce," said The Doctor sadly. "Until somebody lifts the Time Lock, we're stuck here."

"So we just sit around and do nothing?"

"That's as good as it gets."

Kwiksilver walked up to the Doctor and handed him a banana. He threw bananas to The Kernel and Luce, and started peeling one for himself.

"So what's the chance of getting out?" he asked.

"Well," said the Doctor,"The chances are pretty improbable."

Sub-Chapter Fifteen and a Half: What's MAI got to do with this?
In MAI, no one has noticed the battle, until...

"Sir! Some Abyss Knight just blew up our embassy near South Pole City." exclaimed an officer.

"WHAT?!?" Alex12345a had been shocked by the news.

"Yes, sir. Currently, The Good Guys and the rest of the Antarctica are trying to stop Darktan's forces."

"Hmm... send 3000 soldiers immediately! I order them to be seized!"

"ARE YOU MAD? HE HAS AN ARMY OF A MILLION!" the stupdified advisor screamed with his flippers raised up high.

"Help The Good Guys. Our embassy cost a fortune! And my precious diamond is in there! It cost me several pebbles to get it off the auction. And that Darktan guy keeps irratating me."

"What do we need, sir?"

"Get the special pie bombs we had stored in. All 1,009,264 of them. And buy me an OxiPie. Use it among the bomb."

"But what does all those pie bombs have? What special power?"

"They have a special energy inside which at a certain point will blow up rapidly and cause blueberries to be splattered all over the face. It's very hot, and no penguin could stand it! The only thing they could do is "roll in the snow", heh heh."

"Heh heh. Heh Heh." joked the advisor.

The pie bombs had arrived in South Pole City. The army of three thousand had used five military planes along for their transportation. However, the pilots confused "Near Penguville" with "Near Pengu Town". When they arrived, they looked around, baffled.

One soldier asked "Where's Darktan?"

Another added "Yeah. And why isn't there any sign of war?"

An unusally skinny one replied that Darktan may have lost and everyone should return home. The troops headed back to the fighter jets until they noticed a sign. It read:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - They then realized what the'yve done and instructed the pilots to take them to Penguville.
 * Welcome to Pengu Town                     |
 * Our country town is safe in the flippers of Bob McGoo.|
 * Do not worry about any conflict. We do have a strong army.  |
 * If you would like to buy a Judgie, call 62-781-9090-5410 |
 * Pengu Town and Capital Board |
 * _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ |

Chapter Fifteen and the other half: Technological
At Freezeland, ZapWire's house was bombarded with pies.

"Hey! I paid good money for those windows!"

ZapWire got in a spare suit, and started up this huge machinge gun, loaded with computer viruses imported directly from the Dorkugese Jungle.

Darktan had just entered his room and he floated towards a green mirror that appeared on the wall. It flashed many colors and two menacing red eyes appeared in it.

"I have tried to do what you've told me your greatness, but I can't seem to win."

The mirror chuckled and then looked seriously at Darktan.

"Don't tell me I've trained you this much just to have you give up my apprentice. In order to fully defeat them you must strike were it will hurt the most."

Darktan bowed and then looked towards the mirror again.

"And what is that great master?"

"You should know my descendant. After all, he is an old friend."

Darktan growled and his eyes started to glow.

"Triskelle! Yes that is it. I shall asume the Maledict form and get rid of him once and for all."

"No! Not yet Darktan. Have I taught you nothing? You must wait until the right moment, and then strike."

Darktan stood up and looked curiously at the mirror.

"And when is that master?"

The mirror laughed and then the eyes started to glow even more.

"Trust me my apprentice. When the time is right, you'll know. You are the last remaining descendant of me, so it is your duty to finish what I started all those years ago. Before Triskelle was even born."

Darktan grinned and the amulet started to glow, and dark purple gas surrounded it.

"I will personally take care of it. Once the member of the prophecy is killed they will have no hope. Then I will take care of Triskelle."

The mirror flashed a dark black color and the red eyes became more visible than ever.

"I have trained you well over the years my apprentice. If I could only get out of this vortex."

"Oh don't worry master. I will personally get you out of that place once I take control of Antarctica. Yes, I will do just that, Opacus."

The eyes in the mirror faded away, and Darktan bowed one last time. The penguin then got up and walked away.

"EAT MALWARE!" ZapWire confidentially shouted.

The machine gun quickly ran out of ammo, after hitting about 100 Doom Knights.

His arch nemesis appeared.

"Hi Jacker Jack."

"ZapWire."

Hi-Jiacker was swinging VGA cables like a lasso.

ZapWire was reloading the gun.

Jack flang the cables like a whip, missing ZapWire by a few centimetres.

Zap held the trigger for as long as possible. Hi-Jacker could not take the ammo much longer.

He collapsed.

Chapter Sixteen: The Epic Battle for South Pole City
Mayor McFlapp zoomed up to his office in Ternville. He stepped in through an open window, and began frantically searching the mess of papers on the floor. Finally, he gave up.

The Mayor pressed a button on his personal intercom.

"Becky?"

His secretary answered him.

"Yes, Mayor?"

"Where's the bally Lithium Improbability Drive?" the Mayor asked, a hint of panic in his voice.

"On your desk."

The Mayor checked his desk. The drive was still missing.

"Becky, it's not flippin' there!"

"Well then, I don't know where it is."

"I needed it for the pie war!"

"You'd better start searching then."

The intercom disconnected. The Mayor called Explorer.

"Explorer? I can't find the flippin' drive! Proceed with the bally backup plan, wot wot!"

"Over and out," finished Explorer, still astride the Giant Pen.

The rain of food had stopped and the Darktonian Army was getting restless. Darktan had returned the minute it had stopped raining food and was now getting the side of Evil to march towards SPC.

"Okay, troops!" called Explorer, "Techno Archers, to your posts! Orb Flingers, load those catapults! Pie Soldiers arm yourselves. Let's get ready to rummmmmblllllleeeee!"

The army of good gave a cheer and went about arming themselves.

The walkie-talkie on Explorer's belt crackled.

"Commander Explorer!" came the Ternville Air Force's captain, Jim, "We're positioned above South Pole City. Fleets of Icarus are amassing over PBJT Valley. What are your orders?"

"Jim, load some pie bombs and drop them when I give the signal. Try to shoot down as many Icarus as possible."

"Roger, Explorer. Over and out."

Shroomsky sidled up to Explorer.

"Do you think we've got a chance?" asked Shroomsky, "Most of our flank have been felled by pies. We've only got a third of our original army left."

"We've just got to hope that Mayor McFlapp finds that Improbability Drive in time," answered Explorer, gazing at the Evil Army.

Meanwhile, Darktan was also making preparations.

"Get ready, troops!" he bellowed, "Xary, who are the repairs on Robo-Gary going?"

"Brilliantly, master," said X, "Only one leg left to repair."

"Good," said Darktan.

The evil army started marching towards SPC.

"Get ready, goodies," said Darktan quietly to himself, "Especially you, fungus."

"They're almost in range!" cried Triskelle to the Techno Archers. "On my command!"

"One..."

The Archers took aim.

"Two..."

They pulled back their silicon bow strings.

"Three! Fire!"

The shining silver arrows flew through the air and cut into Darktan's flank. Instead of puncturing the skin, the arrows delivered a 9,000 volt shock to the evil soldiers. They instantly fell unconscious. Several bells tolled.

"First Archers, fall back, reload! Second Archers, Fire!"

Meanwhile, Explorer was leading the Orb Slingers.

"That's the stuff! Try to get one in WitchyPenguin's face!"

WitchyPenguin soared around the Energy Orbs, missing them by inches. She shot some magic at the SPC battlements.

KA-CHUNK!!!

A grand piano appeared above one of the Orb Slingers, and knocked him out cold.

With that, the cackling witch flew away to cause more mayhem.

Mayor McFlapp was still searching through his messy office, when his PDA beeped. He pulled it out from under his top hat.

URGENT! EVIL EDIT TO Great Darktonian Pie War BY L.CARRION!

Mayor McFlapp's eyes widened. He ran over to an intercom and dialed the Bureau of Fiction extension, 1337.

"All departments on full flippin' alert! The bloomin' Bureau of Entropy is trying to change the outcome of the bally pie war, wot wot!"

In the dark bowels of the Bureau of Entropy, Lord Carrion stopped typing at his Hydraulis. McFlapp was trying to revert his edits! He called out to Director Kenny across the room, who was typing furiously on his blue laptop.

"Kenny! That idiot featherbag, McFlapp, is trying to revert my edits! Get all the departments on full alert!"

Director Kenny pulled a blue microphone from a drawer in his desk and spoke into it.

"Attention Bureau of Entropy," said Kenny coolly, "All employees to your stations, repeat, to your stations. Revert all Bureau of Fiction edits."

Shroomsky marched on, instructing the Good Guy's foot soldiers around South Pole City. They formed a long line. The Darktonian Army marched towards them at a frightening pace. An Abyss Knight was leading the oncoming horde.

"Arm yoursel-" began Shroomsky, but was stopped mid sentence as he dodged a frantic volley of pies. The Evils had caught them by surprise!

The side of Evil advanced upon the unready Good soldiers and smashed pies in their faces. Bells tolled continuously as soldiers went down like dominoes. They were getting thrashed. Suddenly, a sound was heard above them.

SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI!

A huge ROFLCOPTERCOPTER appeared, filled with fifty good soldiers. They opened fire on the evils.

RATATATATATAT!!!!

Rofl Waffles shot down and hit seventy Doom Knights. They fell on the ground laughing and were immediately smashed by pies. Seventy bells sounded. The good guys cheered.

Meanwhile, Commander Jim of the Ternvile Air Force was having other problems.

"Red 1, look out for that Icarus!" shouted Jim into his headset.

The tern flying the jet fighter swerved just in time to avoid a blast of energy. One other tern, Green 2, wasn't so lucky. An Icarus smashed into his, and the fuel tanks blew up. The Icarus's flying device was destroyed and he went plummeting towards the ground. Green 2 had escaped just in time and was drifting safely down on a parachute.

"Go for the wings!" said Red 4.

Streams of explosive licorice bullets flew out of all the Red squad's inbuilt machine guns. The bullets slammed into two Icarus and their flying devices exploded.

"Nice one, Red 4," remarked Jim, "Now Blue Squad, fly above me, Red squad, fly below me and Gold Squad, arm your bomb launchers."

Darktan was enraged at the loss of seventy of his Doom Knights. He summoned a laser beam and tried to blast Shroomsky. The mushroom ducked just in time, and the beam flew over his head and narrowly missed the Silmarils.

"You'll never get me, Darktan!" cried Shroomsky from behind some fallen debris.

Darktan shot a beam of laser at the Debris and it disintegrated, leaving Shroomsky standing alone and unprotected.

"You think so, fungus?" said Darktan. He summoned a giant ball of shadow energy that enlarged in his flippers. Then he released.

SHOOM!!

A giant shockwave shot backwards at Darktan, knocking him off his feet and onto the ground. He got up and saw the cause.

An orb of Ice energy had got in the way of his shadow beam, and a solid wall of ice, now streaked with grey, separated him from Shroomsky.

Darktan was even angrier, then he calmed himself. There would be time for revenge later. He floated away, laughing his trademark laugh.

Shroomsky let out a sigh of relief and looked up. Explorer was standing up at the wall looking down at him. He let down a rope ladder and Professor Shroomsky started climbing.

"You've got a good aim, Explorer!" said Shroomsky as he climbed.

"Best aim in my class at Penguin University," said Explorer with a satisfied smirk. "I could hit your house from 30 meters."

"So it was you doing that!"

Triskelle, up on the higher part of the battlements, looked down at Shroomsky chasing Explorer.

"Hey you two! Will ye stop acting like fools, there's a war to be won!"

Somebody tapped Triskelle on the shoulder.

"Uh, chief Triskelle?" he asked nervously.

"Yes?"

"We're out of Techno Arrows."

Triskelle slapped a flipper over his eyes.

"Oh, for the love of PoTAYTO..."

BOOM!

A large fireball shot at a building above the platform where the Techno Archers and Triskelle were. Huge chunks of debris fell towards them.

Triskelle summoned a wave of water from the Amulet and tried to stop the chunks of mortar, but to no avail.

CHINK!

The wave instantly turned to ice above their heads. The looked towards the Orb Slingers below, who were waving at them.

"Thank you, my friends!" called Triskelle.

DJ X, Director Benny and Becky sat at computer terminals, frantically reverting the edits by the Bureau of Entropy. Illustrator Keith was running around, screaming his head off.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'LL BE ENSLA-"

KA-THUNK!!!

A large piano fell on Keith, knocking him out instantly. Becky and DJ X looked at Director Benny.

"I couldn't help it," said Benny, "I can't handle people screaming while I work."

The Intercom rang, Becky answered it with her beak, still typing.

"Masters? This is the Department of Plot. We've got a second report of a piano falling on somebody. What's up with that? Where's the variety? I demand you change it no--"

KA-THUNK!!!'KA-THUNK!!!'KA-THUNK!!!

Three pianos simultaneously fell on the Plot Department's head, knocking him out.

Chapter Seventeen: Evil is a Dish Best Served Raw
"Very beautiful Chicks," said Finwe. "You should be very proud Mrs. Anator."

"I am and so is Theangol. They're very precious."

Finwe sat next to a female penguin who was holding two little Chicks. They were sleeping and didn't look like they would wake up anytime soon.

"So, where exactly is Theangol anyways?" Asked Finwe.

The female penguin looked puzzled and simply shrugged. Finwe looked seriously at her.

"If you're hiding something from me, I'd wish for you to tell it. I worry for Theangol. Especially because of his ancestry."

Mrs. Anator rolled her eyes, but then regreted she had.

"I'm sorry Saint Finwe, it's just penguins are always judging him just because of his grandfather. Most of them didn't even know him."

"Well I did Mrs. Anator. He was a menacing villian. Nothing but darkness filled his heart. His tranformation shall be remembered for years to come."

The female penguin looked desperatley at him.

"Surely you're not blaming my husband for the mistakes of his grandfather are you?"

Finwe turned to face the window behind him, to see the rising sun.

"Everyone will always fear him abit Mrs. Anator. It will be hard to forget what his grandfather did to Freezeland, and the High Penguins.

"You were very wise to fear me all those years ago Finwe. It's time I finish what my grandfather started. He was never truely defeated, simply delayed. By a couple hundred years off course."

Just then a Dark Templar appeared behind him. Darktan looked seriously at the creature.

"What do you want this time?"

"Oh great lord Darktan, we need more troops out on the battlefield."

"WHAT! I brought 5,000 Abyss Knights, 4,867 Doom Knights, The High Penguins of Darkness, and 50,000 of my other minions! How in the name of Arda can you need more troops?"

"It-it's j-just that they're t-to p-owerful lord D-Darktan. They do have Triskelle on their side you know."

Darktan growled and looked down at the creature.

"I could care less if they had Saint Finwe himself on their side. You'll win this war with our remaining troops, or I'll get rid of your Snowtendo Vii!"

The Templar looked in shock, and then it started to shake even more.

"Please Lord D-Darktan be r-reas-sonable."

Darktan grabbed the Templar by the neck and held him right up to his face. He then growled and the creature shrieked.

"Ow, ow, ow!" It yelled.

"I didn't bring all my best men here just to be defeated by some inexperienced rookies! I'll bring out one more set of troops, but you had better win this war with them!!!"

Angrily he threw the creature at the door, and it shakily tried to reply.

"I pr-promise L-L-Lord Darktan."

The creature then fainted, and Darktan picked up his cell phone.

"It's about time that garbage-eating, ball of armored plating kept his promise."

"Oh yah man. This is the.......

"POLKA TIME!!!! POLKA POLKA POLKA POLKA!!!!

Bugzy leaped out of his hot tub, and quickly put his hat on. He then realised it was his cell phone and he looked to see who was calling.

"Why exactly did I put Polka as the big boy's ringtone?"

Reluctantly he answered the phone and held it up to his ear (or whatever beetles have).

"Yo dog. What's up?"

"This is the almighty Darktan, Bugzy."

Bugzy laughed and clapped his pinchers together.

"Darktan who?"

A growling sound came from the phone.

"Don't pull those tricks on me you overgrown cockroach. Right now I need that backup you promised."

"Okay let's get somethings straight here Darky. Number 1, just relax. I'm gettin ya backup ready, we've just been a bit distracted. Number 2, can't you take a joke man? And Number 3, I'm a Beetle."

"Very funny Smart Alleck. Now unless you want me to take back our deal, you'll stop getting distracted AND GET THAT BACKUP HERE NOW!!!!! "

The phone then hung up, and Bugzy looked suprised.

"This is why I don't usually make deals with penguins. Whatever though, as long as Darky pays me I don't care how demanding he is. However incase he decides not to, I gotta few tricks up my abdomen."

Bugzy then went back to his hot tub, and started to once again relax.

Great Lee was stuffing himself full of penguin, as usual. One of his minions came forward.

"Sir," the minion said, "There's a war going on between Darktan and those penguins. If that Darktan guy wins, we might not be able to eat penguin anymore!

Lee wasn't happy. He decided to fight Darktan, so he can eat later. One of the penguins he had for supper had a jet pack. Seals may be fat, but they can fly like penguins.

Darktan had just gotten onto the balcony of his castle to see the war still going on. He also noticed that his army seemed to be losing even with the reinforcements the Templar had brought.

"DON'T GO HACK CP! The best things in life do not come free!!"

Darktan looked shocked and almost fell over. Where was that ringtone coming from? When did he choose that?

Go and buy Membership, like you know that you should. Oh don't go hack CP!

Darktan floated around the room, looking for the source. Then, he realized it was coming from the Amulet. He held it up and heard a voice.

"Hello Darktan."

Darktan then realised it was Opacus.

"How are you talking to me? I'm no where near the mirror!"

"I've recently been able to activate an ancient Ardian spell I placed into the amulet when I first created it. It allows me to speak to whoever is wearing it, no matter where they are, just like a telephone."

Darktan didn't know much about what he was talking about, but he just continued to listen.

"So tell me Darktan, how is your little war going?

"Master, I have failed you. I'm losing terribly to The citizens of the USA, and worst of all Triskelle. My only chance is to use the Maledict form now and rid myself of them."

A lould noise came from the amulet and Darktan quickly floated to his room, afraid that the others would hear it.

"NO DARKTAN! You must wait until the right moment like I told you. However there is another little suprise I put into the amulet that should give you some advantage. It's not as powerful as the Maledict, but it will give you the upper hand in this war."

"Perfect then Master. What is this suprise and how will it help me?"

"It's simple really. It will involve some ancient tactics though, and it could hurt, but in the end it will be completely worth it."

Darktan laughed [[Media:Darktan's_Laugh.ogg|his trademark laugh]] and then rubbed his flippers together.

"Will I still be able to assume the Maledict form when the time comes?"

Opacus snickered.

"Perhaps into an even more powerful Maledict, my apprentice. Anyways though, let's begin. First of all you must soak the amulet in water, and add some Doom Weed Leaves."

"I don't understand how exactly this will help, but I will do as you say master. I'll get the Templars to do it right away."

"Perfect my grandson. You're becoming more like me everyday."

Darktan didn't know whether this was a compliment or not. He was about to ask when he was inturupted by a "You Got Mail!" sound coming from the amulet.

"Now, I must go... there are some delicious e-mails I have to eat... yum yum..."

Darktan wished his grandfather farwell and went to perform this so called tactic.

Of all the warriors in the Pie War, Billy Mays was probably working the hardest. So far he had taken down 500 Darktonian Minions with OxiPie, fixed 47 Pie Tanks, and reloaded 7,683 Fruit Blasters with ammo. But not everyone was happy with his work. There was one person who was very jealous of Billy, and the person was Vince. His products never worked, and Billy's allways did decided to get even with Billy then and there. Creeping up behind the advertiser, Vince threw a ShamOMG!!! straight at Billy. The advertiser then turned around and looked angrily at Vince.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ZORBEEZ ARE YOU DOIN HERE!"

"You see Billy. I think you've had enough time in the spotlight. TV needs to see me more. I can just see Penguins admiring me."

Billy laughed for almost a minute and then pointed at Vince's head.

"NOT WITH THAT PYRAMID THEY WON'T."

Vince growled and tried to put his hair down. He then took out another ShamOMG! and wapped it against a rock.

"How about we settle this here and now Billy?"

Billy then pulled out a Zorbeez and whapped it against the rock, causing the Boulder to break. Vince looked shocked and Billy laughed.

"I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS VINCE."

The two faced each other and pulled out their choice of weapons. Vince holding a ShamOMG! and Billy holding a Zorbeez, the two looked ready to fight. Then, holding their weapons up in the air, the two charged straight at each other. The two then kept wapping each other with their cloths and the battle had begun.

"Give up now Billy."

"NOT A CHANCE VINCE!"

Eventually they got out other weapons. Vince pulled out his SlapOMG! and Billy pulled out a OxiPie.

"CHOP THROUGH THIS VINCE!"

Just then Billy threw the pie straight at Vince. Vince blocked it with his SlapOMG!, but then saw that his weapon had broken down.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "Yelled Vince."

Just then Billy threw an Oxipie at Vince, and it hit him in the face. Vince then fell down, and Billy laughed.

"NOW THAT'S THE POWER OF WORKING PRODUCTS, AND A LOUD VOICE."

Vince then got up and growled angrily.

"I'll get you next time Billy. And when I do, I'll finally get that money Darktan promised me."

Billy looked confused and Vince walked away. He then wondered who else Darktan could be promising money to. Maybe someone who's much more of a threat than Vince!

Darktan was walking towards the Templar's room to have them perform the tactic when he heard a voice. It was calling his name and it sounded very worried. Darktan looked to see WitchyPenguin flying on her broom towards him. She was frightened.

"What in the name of Arda is wrong with you, WitchyPenguin? You're acting like a second Khanzem Era is about to happen."

WitchyPenguin panted and them bowed down at Darktan.

"Oh great master. Great Lee himself is attempting to break down your door right now. He's almost succeeded!"

Darktan rolled his eyes and held up the amulet to show WitchyPenguin.

"I have more important things to do than worry about that insignificant blubber ball. Besides, what Leopard Seals have in strength, they lack in brains. Tell him to come in and say that if he tries to eat you I'll incinerate him with the amulet."

"Yes master."

WitchyPenguin flew off nervously and Darktan simply crossed his flippers and smirked.

Great Lee came crashing through the hallway with some of his minions close behind. He dragged his fat seal blubber down the mighty corridors of Weegee's Manor and up to the Dark Lord.

Darktan simply stood his ground while WitchyPenguin shook nervously behind him, and a Mwa Mwa Penguin sucked on it's flipper. Then the Leopard Seals stopped and roared revealing their huge, sharp teeth.

"WORD DWARKTAN! IT'S CWOMING!"

Darktan simply stood his ground and smirked. Great Lee then ran right up to Darktan's face and groweled for about a minute. Afterwards he stepped back and put on a general hat.

"It's time for you to become my dinner, Darktan. Just to show you that me and my troop are not entirley cruel through, we'll eat you and your two friends there quickly and easily."

Darktan laughed and the Leopared Seals growled.

"Honestly, you fools! I'm worth a way better preperation than that. Aren't you atleast going to cook me?" Darktan chuckled; he left out the part that he was inedbile and poisonous because of his power.

"Evil is a dish best served raw Darktan. We're not about to stop eating penguins because you might start ruling Antarctica."

Darktan laughed even more and then walked up closer towards that seals. He thought up a lie, and thought it up quick.

"Threats like that are clear forms of cowardness. Besides I won't stop you from eating penguins."

Great Lee stopped barking and put his face closer to Darktan.

"You... you won't?"

"Do you actually think I'm going to keep all those penguins who are against us around here after I win this war? You're free to do whatever you want with them."

Great Lee blinked.

"You... you're not?"

"Oh, no! Of course not! Why would I?" he giggled to himself, this trap was going to work well. He had already planned to make everyone his servants, minions, staff, ec.

"Oh, well, in that case... good luck with the war." Lee was about to leave when he turned around and glared at Darktan. "If you go back on your word, the witch here gets it."

Darktan nooded. Great Lee shut the doors and all was quiet.

"Heh heh... PSYCH!" Darktan turned to WitchyPenguin. "All right, deploy the trap!"

WitchyPenguin chanted an exotic phrase and caused a hole to appear outside, right under the seals. They fell in.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Great Lee bellowed, seething in fury.

Darktan floated over and looked down in the hole at the furious pennipeds.

"...-and THAT's what you get for your kind eating my father!" Darktan laughed his trademarked laugh as the seals struggled to scratch their way out of the deep hole. Several Mwa Mwa Penguins stuck their tounges out at him, and even Darktan joined in. He smirked and tosses a bunch of lettuce into the hole.

"Here, have some dinner, it's on me. I'll see you in, oh, fifty years or so. HA HA HA!" Darktan floated off happily, going back to his vantage and planning point.

Chapter Eighteen: How it began
It was early in the morning and the sun was just starting to rise. Many penguins were still asleep, but a few had gathered together in a small garden that was surrounded by a shallow stream. In the middle of the group was a very old penguin who was wearing a gold robe, and carring a silver cane. As old as he was however, he still managed to speak.

"I have called you all hear today to discuss an important matter. I'm sure you all know what it is."

A chippy, young penguin raised his fliper and and jumped up and down excitedly. The old penguin bowed his head, giving the penguin permission to speak.

"Khanzem. We're going to discuss Khaznem."

"Not just Khanzem, Elessar. We High Penguins face other dangers aswell. But yes, we are also going to discuss what to do about Khanzem and Bead Seaport. I'm sure we all agree something must be done about Whoot and his armies. After all, some of use did lose members of our family in the latest battle. You know... the cake incident?"

The group nodded grimly, and then another penguin walked into the garden. He was dark blue, and seemed to be middle aged. His clothes were almost pure white, and he had a dark brown beard.

"Sorry I'm late men. I felt a bit lazy this morning."

The old penguin bowed in respect, as did the others.

"I'm glad to see you recovered from that wound your highness. I never knew Khanzem's forces were that deadly."

The penguin laughed, and then patted the old penguin on the back.

"There's no need for apologies Finwe. It's just abit of a scratch, and my flipper will soon be better."

The penguin then sat down so Finwe could continue.

"Anyways, it appears Khanzem's forces are getting stronger each day. We must find more allies, or risk surrender. There is no way that we'll let a cake bombing catch us off gaurd again."

"Aye," said the king. "Perhaps we could ask that old puffle in the sky. Perhaps some of his magic could help us in this war."

Everyone in the group started wondering if it was a good idea or not, but Finwe had made up his mind.

"Triskelle as your friend, I advise you not to do this. His intentions may be good, but whatever he's doing isn't magic and he can't control the things he creates."

Triskelle nodded his head.

"Aye old friend. We must have some advantage against Khanzem though."

Just then a slice of cake flew by and spallatered against a nearby crate. Everyone looked to see a dark black penguin approaching. In his flipper he held a large sword, and he was quite tall, even for a High Penguin.

"We do have an advantage," he said. "It's just that we won't use it."

"And what is this advantage, Theangol?"

The penguin then revealed the Amulet of Shadow in his flipper. Everyone awed at it, except for Finwe. He was very upset.

"Where did you get that Theangol?!"

"It dosen't matter Finwe. What does mater is that these are our advantage. They won't stand a chance against the amulets. Think about it Triskelle. You can show your true right as king, and I can get revenge for my wife. YOU COULD RIGHT THE WRONGS THOSE NOOBS HAVE DONE TO YOUR MOTHER! Will you take that lying down?!"

Triskelle was at first tempted by this. He had always wanted to show the citizens of Khanzem the High Penguins true power, and it felt good. Losing his mother to a surprise bombing was devastating, and revenge was on the penguin's mind. Finwe however wasn't convinced.

"Theangol there are many magical amulets in this world. None of which should be used in that matter."

The penguin then growled, and turned to face Triskelle.

"Well I'm sure the King agrees with me. Don't you Triskelle?"

Triskelle was still undecided on this. Just then he heard a voice in his head.

"You know you want to do it Triskelle. It will benefit you, and all the citizens of Arda."

An evil grin then came over Triskelle, and he got up from his chair. He then took the amulet from Theangol who was also smirking.

"Yes of coarse I agree with Theangol, master. We shall do it."

No one dared to disobey the king, but Finwe was surpised by Triskelle's response.

"Triskelle, put down the amulet."

"AND WHY SHOULD I!?! SO YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM ME. I AM THE CHOSEN KEEPER! I AM BETTER THEN YOU AND I KNOW IT!"

Triskelle was now all spirally eyed, like a Str00del or Freaker Explorer.

"Calm down Triskelle. This is for your own good. You must put it down."

Triskelle's dark blue feathers had allready started to turn dark black, and Finwe realised he now looked more like someone he had seen before. He immediatley realised who it was, and raised up his cane. Triskelle was being possessed, he had to stop it!

"OPACUS, LEAVE TRISKELLE OUT OF THIS! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE."

Triskelle simply grinned though, and held the amulet up. He was now even drooling and under a trance. Finwe then walked towards him.

"YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE THEN!"

Taking the emerald out of his cane, Finwe threw it towards Triskelle's flipper, and knocked the amulet out of it. Triskelle then fell to the ground, and he returned to normal. Theangol however was angry. Triskelle then started to get up, and Finwe put a bandage over a wound on his flipper that the emerald had caused.

"You're right Finwe. If we use the amulets to rid ourself of Khanzem, we will become just like them. We shall not use them in battle."

"That is crazy. It was just one accident. Triskelle, don't you want to get revenge for the death of your mother?"

Finwe walked up towards Theangol, and slapped him.

"I allways knew you were like your grandfather. Get out of here Theangol! You're no longer welcome in Arda, or Freezeland."

Triskelle was shocked at Finwe's response and got up to object.

"Finwe, maybe that's a little to harsh. Perhaps we could just.....

"Triskelle! Do you want to risk another accident like this one?"

Theangol looked angrily at Finwe, and Triskelle held his head down.

"No sir."

"Very well then. Theangol will leave Arda now, and his chicks will be put in the care of another."

Theangol was furious and grabbed his sword. He then turned around to leave.

"Now I know why Khanzem hates us. You make us all seem snooty and stuck-up. Why else did the Lesser Penguins rebel? We held parades in front of them and such! Now that they have risen up against us, you act like weenies and refuse to show them who is boss! You'll never stop them this way!"

Everyone looked towards one another as Theongal waddled out the door. Right before slamming it, he turned to the crowd.

"I'll get back at you all and Khanzem someday. JUST YOU WAIT! ESPECIALLY YOU TRISKELLE!"

"I regret that day more than ever now. If only things could go back to the way they were."

Just then Will Whitefoot approached.

"Your Highness. We need your help on the battlefield.

"Oh, okay friend. I'll be there soon."

Whitefoot nodded, and then left Triskelle's tent. Triskelle soon followed, and he bore a sad look on his face.

A heap of wires lay on a stone platform floating in the sky. Underneath the wires was a piece of metal that resembled a body. Next to the mess however was a disembodied robot head, and it was none other than Metal Explorer. It appeared it was all over for him, but his luck was about to change. A strong breeze blew by and rolled the robot's head right onto to a shard of the artifical Destruction Gem that was once his heart. As if it had a mind of it's own, the shard fused its self into the robot's head and it's optics opened once again.

"Ugh, what happened? I can't even feel my......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

Metal Explorer looked down to see that his head was no longer attatched to his now nearly destroyed body. Wires were everywhere, and several shards of his ditto container were right next to him.

"I must get back to Darktan. But how? I'm just a head."

As if the shard wanted to help the robot, a small tripod-like appendage suddenly grew from his head. The robot could now move somewhat like a crab, and then two miniature missile launchers appeared on each side.

"How humiliating. I couldn't even beat Omega with this. But then again I guess this is better than nothing."

Just then he heard a ringing sound in his head. It was his comlink system, and Darktan appeared to be calling. The robot quickly answered.

"Hello."

"Metal Explorer, I'm picking up your energy signal with our radar, but I can't tell where it is. Where in the name of Arda are you?"

Metal Explorer looked down bellow only to see a bunch of enormus clouds and a few thunder bolts.

"I'm somewhere over Antarctica, I think."

A growling sound came from the comlink and the the robot heard a roar.

"Are you able to fly Metal Explorer?"

Just then a mini jet pack appeared from the back of his head.

"I can now."

"Excellent then my minion. Don't come back here right now though. I have an important mission for you. That stealthy body you have now should help you accomplish it."

The robot looked puzzled, and wondered how his new body could help with anything. He didn't question his leader though and told him to continue.

"Okay then. First of all I need you to pickup something on Angel Island. After that you need to meet me back at the castle. Then we can get to work on our little plan."

"Of coarse Lord Darktan. Now what is it you want me to pick up?"

The conversation continued, and the robot started to smirk. he then took off with his jet pack, and flew in the direction that he thought would lead him to Angel Island.

The atmosphere in the TARDIS was tense. The Doctor was leaning against the console, Luce was sitting on the floor, her head in her flippers and Kwiksilver was playing chess with The Kernel.

"Your move," said Kwik.

The Kernel moved his queen.

"I say, I say, CHECKMATE!"

"GAH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" cried Luce, throwing her flippers in the air. The Kernel was so startled he knocked the chess board, sending pieces flying everywhere.

Luce ran up to the Doctor.

"There has to be some way to fight even if we can't get out of here! I feel so useless!"

"Well, there is one way, but I haven't test-"

"I don't care!" interrupted Luce, "Just take me to it!"

The Doctor opened a trapdoor in the floor and walked down a spiral staircase. Luce, Kwik and The Kernel followed. It lead far down, to a floor where various coloured circles were flashing on the floor.

"Stand on one of those circles," instructed the Time Lord, moving to a small control panel and flipping switches.

Luce obeyed, and suddenly felt like she was being pulled both ways through a small rubber tube. She felt dizzy, then tried to steady herself with her flipper, and found it to be transparent.

"Ah! What happened to my flipper!" cried Luce.

The Doctor's voice was loud and clear. "I am projecting a hologram of you through the space-time continuum. Luce, don't run into anything or get hurt, or something might happen to the connection. I'm sending in Kwiksilver, but not Kentucky. He's a little reluctant."

There was a popping noise, and Kwiksilver appeared next to Luce, looking as transparent as a ghost. Luce looked around for the first time.

They were in a valley, and sounds of battle were coming from another valley. Luce and Kwik peered over a hill and saw the Pie War raging before them. They ran towards it.

Pies were flying everywhere. Some good soldiers who weren't able to retreat to SPC were being thrashed by Darktan's minions.

Luce ran to help, but Kwiksilver stopped her.

"Remember what Doctor Hickory said, Luce? We can't be hurt."

Kwiksilver picked up a rock. It stayed in his transparent flipper for a minute, then sunk through like jelly.

"We can only hold things for 60 seconds," he informed Luce, "Hey, what's that?"

He pointed to a large helicopter. It had pictures of Mister Bean pasted on the sides and LOLZ, ROFL, and other graffiti were all over it.

"A ROFLCOPTER!" cried Luce, "Great find, Kwik!"

The few remaining good guys in PBJT Valley were cornered, bad guys circling around them. They were almost out of ammo.

"Prepare to be pulverised by pies!" cried one Doom Knight.

"What's that?" cried an Abyss Knight, pointing to the sky.

A large helicopter adorned with Mister Bean posters and Interwebz grafitti was speeding towards them. A gun turret came out of the roof.

"Yes! A ROFLCOPTER!" cried a good guy, "But I can't see anybody driving it!"

In the ROFLCOPTER cockpit, Luce was steering the plane to circle the bad guys while Kwiksilver was loading the turret gun with things from a box marked, "ROFL WAFFLES".

"I don't think they can see us," said Luce through the headset.

Kwiksilver finished loading the gun.

"All systems go, Luce!" said Kwiksilver.

Luce flipped a switch on the dashboard marked "ROFL TURRET" to ON.

"OPEN FIRE!" cried Luce.

RATATATATATATATATAT!!!!

Waffles shot out of the gun turret, hitting each bad guy squarely in the chest. They started rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Soon, all the bad guys were ROFL.

The ROFLCOPTER landed in front of the soldiers, and they started jumping into it. Luce and Kwiksilver jumped out and smiled, but soon realized their feet disolving into static.

"What's happening?" asked Luce.

"The hologram stability is failing!" cried Doctor Hickory, "I'm bringing you back."

Luce felt the rubber tube sensation and was back in the TARDIS again. The power box on the wall exploded, showering everybody in sparks.

"We overloaded the processor," said The Doctor grimly, "You were touching too many things."

But Luce simply smiled. At this very moment, a ROFLCOPTER loaded with soldiers was making it's way back to SPC.

The moon had risen over the Tallest Mountain and not a sound could be heard. Except of course for a strange figure talking to himself. He was holding a strange, shiny object, and he appeared to be obsessed over it, but at the same time he feared it.

"Ever since I stole it, I've been feeling very strange master. Is this what my life is ment to be like forever?"

"Having doubts Theangol?" Asked a strange voice. "Why not use this amulet for something useful."

The penguin shivered and put on his cloak.

"I cannot master. Finwe's Ghost knows I have it now. He'll ask Triskelle to send legions of solider to kill me."

The voice then laughed and Theangol looked a bit nervous. Then all of a sudden and strange plant started growing out of the ground and in less than a minute it formed a spiky plant.

"I-is this a Doom Weed Master?"

"Even better Theangol. I went through many experimentations on this plant before I finally perfected it. This is the final result. I call it, Black Death."

"You mean you want to kill me Master?"

"No, no Theangol. If you consume this weed, it will combine the energy in the Shadow Amulet with your body. You will grow stronger than all the forces of Arda and your will become the Forever Emperor."

Theangol liked the idea of it and ripped the weed out of the ground. He then started eating the plant and acted almost like a puffle.

"I have eaten the plant master. I don't feel anymore powerful though so......Argh."

Just then the Amulet started glowing and it started releasing a dark purple gas into his mouth. Two large wings grew out of his back, and his eyes turned bright red. His torn cloak now looked like it was fit for royalty, and he all of a sudden started floating. The transformation had been completed.

"Well done my apprentice. You are Theangol no more. From now on penguins will refer to you as, Darktan."

The once shaking penguin now felt more confident than ever and he wanted nothing more than Triskelle dead and for Antarctica to be his.

"This is what I was meant to do from the start. I will now complete what you started master."

With that Darktan flew off, and let out his menacing laugh.

"Ah, I remember that night like it was yesterday. It all seemed so simple back then. Now things are more complicated than ever."

Just then a Templar walked in.

"The Amulet is ready Lord Darktan."

"Excellent," replied Darktan. "Remind me to give you a promotion after we win this war."

The Templar grinned evilly, and Darktan went into the medical room to retrieve the Amulet.

Chapter Nineteen: Evil Strikes Back!
The Leader crouched under a crashed ROFLCOPTER. He only held a Snowgun. He shot. He saw fellow Dark Penguins- knocked out. STINC had outnumbered them. He saw West Pengolian troops, pinned down, being wacked with fish. Blizzard Rangers shot a cannon- only to miss. The battle wasn't going well. Dark clouds gathered over the horizon. A storm began to grow. He saw Abyss Knights attacking. No chance of victory. He had one more snowball. He could shoot. Or save if for a rainy day? Suddenly, some Weddell Seals popped out of the nearby river. They slapped the Darktonian troops. This was his chance. He and a few Dark Penguins moved to the manshion. He sneaked in, disguised as a Doom Knight. He encounted Darktan. What was he doing? WitchyPenguin, a Dark Templar, and a High Knight of Darkness were by him, keeping guard. He entered the room.

"What's he doing?" The Leader asked the High Knight of Darkness.

"Everyone knows. He's transforming" he replied.

The Leader stared and watched. Whatever he was doing, we will watch. A voice beckoned in his head.

"Join the Forever Emperor!"

The voice beckoned on.

The Leader then saw his inner evil. Would he take the path? Yes, he decided in the end. No matter the cost, he would fight by Darktan.

"I got some intel about the good guys."

Meanwhile, a ROFLCOPTER was just about to land near a large outpost where several penguins were getting ready for further battles.

The copter hit the ground with a bang. It wasn't exactly a shining, brand new machine.

As the doors of the flying machine slowly opened, they suddenly became jammed. The pilot got out of her seat and investigated.

"Looks like there's some really sticky gum lodged in the opening mechanism, ninth time this week..." She concluded.

The pilot then pulled a box out from underneath one of the passenger seats that was labelled "FOR GUM RELATED EMERGENCIES ONLY", opened it and took out a rusting crowbar.

She proceeded to insert the crowbar into a gap where the hinges of the door were, and moved the bar around a bit until a small piece of half-chewed, pink gum came flying out of the hinges, making a small crack in the copter window. The door immeadiatly fell off.

Another penguin waddled off the copter and began approaching the outpost. An Adelie Penguin stopped him in his tracks.

"What are you doing in a place like this?" The Adelie penguin asked.

"I was meant to be a replacemnt for this outpost's chef. I heard he slipped on a puddle of cream soda and fell into a vat of it." The penguin responded back.

"Ah, so you're Tidalwave11. Pleased to meet you. I'll show you the kitchen."

The Adelie soldier began escorting Tidalwave to the kitchen.

Darktan followed the Templars who said they would take him to the Amulet when all of a sudden a thought hit him. He had allways thought his past plans would work but they had allways failed. What if this one did to? Darktan knew there must be some kind of force making his enemies win and he needed to find out what it was and destroy it before it was to late.

"Aren't you coming master?"

Darktan came back to reality and turned around.

"Um go ahead without me. I'll catch up soon."

The Templar saluted and waddled away. Darktan then began pacing when all of a sudden a Mwa Mwa Penguin approached him.

"What are woo dwoing wor Mwagestwy?" It asked.

Darktan completely ignored the question and started rambling on about how they were losing to the creature.

"Hmmm...." Darktan said, pacing back and forth. "We are losing. We must retreat. Aha, but they wont be much without their precious capital, will they?" He said to it.

"Otay. Wes swir!" said the loonie.

Darktan called a break with the referee. The referee agreed. He sounded an air horn and ordered the armies to stop. Group "aawwws" were heard across the valley.

Luce turned to Proffesor Shroomsky.

"Professor, make sure you don't drop the Silmaril Crown. Darktan is up to something, and we're going to need it."

Shroomsky nodded.

Darktan floated at his vantange point overlooking the battle.

"Before we storm the capital, we must figure out why the tides shifted right after the storm came..." Darktan whispered to himself.

He clapped his flippers and summoned a Dark Archon. The dragon-smoke creature bowed in respect and waved, signaling he was ready for his orders.

"Okay. I need you to go into that could and find out anything you can on a powerful weapon."

The Dark Archon bowed and did so. He flew up into the sky and immediantly mnd-controlled a random arctic tern. Using this new body, he shuffled in a zombie manner straight to Mayor McFlapp's quarters.

The Archon paused. He looked left and right. For a second, he could have sworn he heard someone playing an organ down the halls of the empty building.

He shuffled down the corridors to a room with an ornate door. Two terns holding Snow Ball Guns stopped him.

"What do you want?"

The Dark Archon was nervous. He had no idea what to do, and since his species can not speak, he was worried. He floated out of the tern he mind-controled and dashed behind a curtain. The tern shook its head rapidly.

"Where am I? Why am I in front of the Narrator's Organ room?"

The guards glared. The tern dashed off.

The Dark Archon sighed in relief. He immediantly fired his aura beams at one of the guards, forcing it to the The Worm dance. He zapped the other, and it started cutting the rug like Cadence, even doing her signature dance.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US?!" one tern screamed to the other.

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT I SURE AM A DANCING MACHINE! WATCH THIS!"

The Dark Archon flew between them and burst open the locked doors. There, he saw the Narrator's Organ, and a random tern entruseted with operating it while the Mayor was away. Its screens showed various things on the battleground, as well as Darktan at his vantage point. The wraith's eyes metaphorically grew to the size of dinner plates. He had found the secret! An all-seeing console! The Archon exited the room and flew down from the clouds.

Darktan turned as his minion entered.

"Did you find anything?"

The Archon nodded feverishly.

"Tell me EVERYTHING."

The Archon nodded. He held up one claw.

"Charades?! I have no time for this! Oh, never mind... okay... first word."

The Dark Archon pointed up.

"Clouds?"

The Archon nodded. He held up two claws.

"Second word."

The wraith imitated an arctic tern.

"Airplanes?"

The archon shook its head. He continued flapping.

"Missles? Aircraft? Space shuttle? Come on, do something else!"

The Dark Archon slapped his claw against his face. He formed a cloud of auras into the rough shape of a top hat. He placed it on his head and started strutting around.

"Will Whitefoot?"

He shook his head. The Archon started flapping his arms again, while strutting around.

"OH! Mayor McFlapp! What about him?"

Still wearing the top hat, the Archon held out his claws and imitated playing a keyboard.

"Mayor McFlapp plays the piano?"

The wraith shook its head. He grabbed a nearby book and started playing the keyboard on it.

"Mayor McFlapp plays on books like a piano?"

The Dark Archon slapped his claw against his face once more. He pointed to Darktan and floated above him, playing the keyboard once more.

"He plays the keyboard... on me?"

The Dark Archon nodded. He then shot auras at Darktan, making him dance like Cadence for a few seconds, before Darktan borke free.

"AAAGH! You insolent... Why did you do THAT?!"

The Archon continued chrading. He played the keyboard and pointed to Darktan.

"Wait, the keyboard, it's controlling me?"

The Archon nodded. He then imiatated banging the keyboard like in a horror movie.

"He plays an organ? Mayor McFlapp plays an organ that controls me?"

The wraith nodded feverishly.

"How can that be?"

The Dark Archon shrugged. He pointed up.

"It's in the sky?"

The Archon clapped in celebration.

"So, Mayor McFlapp has an organ, in the sky, that controls me? Where is it?!"

The Dark Archon pointed in the direction he flew off. Darktan subsequently fired an aura beam in that direction.

The beam barely missed the Organ. It knocked it over and tore a hole in the Mayor's office. The beam continued into space, where it damaged a satillite.

A NASA controller shivered.

"The Chandra X-Ray observatory is now offline..."

Screams were heard in the background.

"This food is delicous!" A King Penguin soldier concluded.

Tidalwave11 had cooked a huge gourmet feast for all of the outpost. Many a cheeseburger was consumed and there was cream soda all round.

"Well, I'm a well-known chef, what do you expect?" Tidalwave11 said to all the soldiers. The Southern Kanta Penguin was tucking into a plate of hot, steaming quiche.

"It's no wonder you're famous!" A female Greaser Penguin Yelled out loud. She had already scoffed three plates of fried rice cakes.

All of a sudden, a tern came flying into the dining area with a panicked expression on his face. He landed on top of a chocolate sundae one of the penguins was eating.

"Hey I'm eating that!" The penguins shouted at the tern. The tern quickly turned his head to the seated general.

"*Puff* Sir, I was *Pant* sent to tell you that Darktan *Phew* is leading an attack on Ternville!" The tern proclaimed to the general.

The general's face suddenly turned sour. He suddenly got up.

"Battlestations everyone!" The general bellowed to the soldiers. "We got to head to Ternville to deal with the threat!"

Everyone, including Tidalwave, got up, got their uniforms on, picked up as many pies as they could and climbed onto several ROFLCOPTER copters, and head straight to Ternville.

Darktan approached the Amulet and a Evil grin came over him. He was about to pick it up when a voice spoke to him.

"Well done Darktan, you've done it. Now assume this new form and weaken the armies of South Pole City and Arda."

Darktan knew it was Opacus talking to him so he knodded his head. He then picked up the Amulet, and a Dark Beam shot out of it and hit his chest. This knocked him over but he soon got up. Then he noticed something was happening to him.

"Your magesty, what's happening to you?" Asked a Templar.

"This is most likely the change that's supposed to happen," he replied.

Darktan then looked at his feet and noticed that they were different than they usually were. Instead of flat penguin feet they looked more like Skua Feet. He grew two legs and a metal substance surrounded him. Eventually it came together to form a black armor and a helmet appeared on his head. His wings grew even bigger and he didn't even look much like himself anymore. Dakrtan stood up and was now almost as tall as Herbert.

"So this is the suprise," said Darktan.

"Impressive your magesty," said the Templar."

Darktan then realised he carried an ancient High Penguin Weapon. It was like a sword but it had a blade on the top and bottom.

"I'm now Armored Darktan!" He proclaimed.

He then walked out to show all the armies of South Pole City and Arda what his new super form could do.

The Leader didn't know it. During his break, a minion of Darktan put some Doom Weed in his Judgy, meaning that Darktan could manipulate him. He didn't know, but he told Darktan Luce's weakness. Suddenly, a Chantam Island Penguin with a Jetpack landed. It was The Leader's old school friend, Galactic Empire12.

"Friend! Great to see you! Come down for some of Tidalwave11's pie!" said GE12.

The Leader threw a pie at GE12. GE12 dodged it.

"Johny, Darktan's has control over you! Remember me!"

Johny Darkos stared at his half cousin. GE would fight by Darktan.

"Johny, you leave me no choice!"

GE12 threw a Rollback Bomb at The Leader, making him on the side of good once again.

"Hey GE! What you're doing here? And why I'm in a Doom Knight suit?"

"No time! Pass me that Abyss Knight armor!"

The Leader threw him the armor, and they both went in, as spies for the good guys. Saddly, with Luce's secret to beating her, Darktan could well know the war. There only chance if they threw a Rollback Bomb at him so he forgets. They walked in, and saw some Flame Knights. They saluted to both of them. GE12 threw a Rollback Bomb at them. The Flame Knights became Ninjas of good. The Leader told them to find a ROFLCOPTERCOPTER, so that they can get out as soon as they can, once they threw the Rollback Bomb. They walked up to Darktan.

"You again" said Armored Darktan to The Leader.

"What'd ya do Darktan?" Asked Galactic Empire. "Get that new look from a scrap heap?"

Darktan growled and held out his weapon.

"Very funny young penguin. Perhaps I'll use you as an entertainer once I defeat Luce."

GE12 instantly threw a Rollback Bomb at Darktan, and Darktan forgot how to defeat Luce. Unfortunatley it didn't erase his new super form. The minons, though, saw the two spies. They got ready to attack. Out of no where, a ROFLCOPTERCOPTER flew out, and began shooting some ROFL Waffles at the minons. Laughter filled the room. Darktan flew out the room. GE12 and The Leader then boarded the copter, and left the Realm.

"Where are we going" asked The Leader.

"Ternville. The terns need help" replied Galactic Empire12.

They passed Tidalwave11's ROFLCOPTERCOPTER. GE12 with his Jetpack, flew over to Tidalwave11.

"Some Black Fish please"

"Coming up!"

GE12 carried the fish back to The Leader. They ate it all.

"Ternville ahead. Standby" said GE12.

GE12 gave The Leader a Rollback Rifle. They began to prepare to defend Ternville.

Meanwhile, in a barren wasteland that is THE SKIP.....

A blue penguin with a dirty green cap and torn black hoodie was limping across the wasteland, alone.

"I can't believe that they sent me here." said a chilled voice.

"They left me here when the war began." he said.

"I wonder if they forgot about me." said the penguin.

That's when the penguin tripped on a rock, revealing a large red button.

"What's this?" asked the penguin, as he bent down and pushed the button.

And when he pushed it, everything became dark....

"Ugh, where am I?" asked the penguin.

He was surrounded by high-tech gadgets and the like.

The penguin waddled over to the window. Then he looked out.

"I'm in SPACE?! said the penguin.

A dark shadow loomed over him......

TO BE CONTINUED

Result
The article is not finished, but I'll go ahead and tell you this:

1. No one died.

2. Happy Ending.

3. They fought with Pies.